My wife and I are currently on vacation. One morning, we went out for a walk to start the day. While walking, we heard a woman screaming for help. We saw the woman with 2 dogs, where one of them was being attacked. The woman seemed to be the owner of at least one of the dogs—possibly both.
She kept screaming for help. The only other people around were an elderly couple who didn’t intervene. My wife told me quietly, “Don’t,” but the woman continued yelling and clearly needed assistance. I felt like someone had to help.
I went behind the attacking dog and carefully pulled it away. Thankfully, the dog didn’t react to me—it didn’t try to bite or growl. About 20 seconds later, the second dog’s owner showed up and took their dog.
Afterward, my wife was really upset. She said I shouldn’t have gotten involved, that I could’ve been bitten and ended up in the hospital (which would have ruined the vacation). She said it caused her a lot of stress and that I put myself in unnecessary danger. I’ve apologized, but she’s tired of hearing it and still angry.
She was previously complained how I don’t consider her enough, so I might be the AH.
So, AITA for stepping in when no one else was helping, but did I not consider how my wife would be stressed.
Comments
Not the AH, but your wife is. Has she always been this selfish?
NTA – yeah that was potentially risky but your wife is making it about her? Thats ridiculous.
There’s obviously more to this story. If she has complained previously, there’s some reason for repeat complaints. I think you need to sit down and have a good talk, maybe with a counselor, about the reasons for this.
She must not have had confidence in your ability to handle the aggressive dog. Should she have?
NTA. Someone was screaming for help, what we’re supposed to do, just sit there and watch? Nothing personal but your wife sounds selfish
NTA
“Don’t consider her enough”
lol this didn’t involve her.
It’s wild that your wife somehow made this situation about her. Sounds exhausting having to deal with someone like that.
NTA. You saw a living being in danger and helped. That’s a moral imperative for many. Your wife’s fear is real, but it doesn’t outweigh the fact that you potentially saved a dog’s life and prevented further harm.
ngl if my bf jumped in to stop a dog fight on vacay and almost got bit… i’d be pissed too 😭 like hero vibes but pls don’t die on me 💀
NAH. Helping was kind, but your wife’s fear was valid You’re not wrong for stepping in, but it’s worth working on how your actions affect her especially if she already feels overlooked
So if your wife was screaming for help in a public place, would she reject any help from a married man? Would she ask anyone who tried to help her what their marital status is before accepting help?
NTA but man, your wife….
NTA. Quite the opposite, in fact: You saw a person in a dangerous situation who also happened to literally cry out for help. Realistically, you were the only person in a position to give that help which you promptly did. You helped said person out of a situation in which they were in risk of acute bodily harm. While I cannot judge anything else, i. e. being otherwise inconsiderate, and even though, to a small degree, I can understand your wife emotionally (realistic or not: what if the dog had gone after her?), in this very situation you did *not* act inconsiderately. You acted commendably and I hope you would do it again.
I would be made if my husband DIDN’T help the woman/dog, TF?
Depends … Do you have a habit of putting yourself in danger or ignoring your wife?
If you are repeatedly doing something that puts you at risk & she has asked you to think before you act then she is probably “tired of hearing it”.
You chose to get involved. Your wife is unhappy with your decision. Both things are possible.
NAH
NTA and she’s probably upset cuz she knows shes in the wrong but refuses to admit it. Good ppl get hurt whn other good ppl do nothing.
NTA. After several apologies if she’s still mad, let her be. At this point it’s a HER issue. Never feel guilty for helping someone.
Your wife sounds like a complete douchebag…
NTA.
NTA In that situation, the need to act was obvious. That your wife expected you to hear her over the noise of the attack and to care more about her anxiety than about the animal and person being attacked is illogical. You did what you had to do. She needs to stop complaining and realize that she has an excellent husband to will.also act to protect her if the need arises. She cannot continue to allow her anxiety to keep her from doing the right thing and she has to stop trying g to keep you from doing the right thing. Anxiety can be overcome. Get her into therapy before you have kids or it will destroy her and your family
I would have done the same thing. Its the human thing to do
She sounds like a self absorbed person who only cares about herself.
You did the right thing.
Ask her why she is so selfish….
NTA. You saw someone screaming for help and reacted like a decent human. Yeah, it was risky, but your wife being mad at you for doing the right thing kinda proves her point isn’t really about you it’s about control or anxiety. You didn’t ignore her, you just prioritized an emergency.
NTA. My mom warned me not to marry someone until I saw how they reacted to emergency situations. One of the things she told me to avoid was signs of selfishness. Her argument is someone who is selfish during an emergency is selfish always, even if they are decent at hiding it most or the time.
Sounds like you could have benefited from my mom’s advice.
NTA. Your wife is on my last nerve
Your selfish wife is the reason people die in attacks that a crowd of nearby people could have stopped. NTA
NTA thank you for helping that lady and her dog
NTA I’ve been the woman in that situation and no one came to help so I got bit.
WOW…..Your wife is the epitome of what is wrong with this world
Nta but your wife kind of sounds like a B
Wife is a narc – act accordingly. NTA.
You wife only cared about her vacation. Not you. Not the dogs. Your wife is selfish.
She’s pathetic you’re NTA
NTA.
Does your wife always make everything about herself?
NTA
What could have happened didn’t, a lady needed help you helped. You can live in fear of what could happen, that’s not living.
You went on vacation even though your flight could have been delayed , your luggage could have been lost, or if driving your car could have broken down, it could rain the whole trip…
It wasn’t a matter of not thinking of her it was a matter of human decency, assistance was needed you assisted. I sure hope if your wife ever finds herself in a situation where she needs assistance someone steps in to assist her.
NTA
Apologies are hard, especially when your action was the right one.
Honey, you are right to be upset. It could have gone bad. I would want someone to help you if that had been you.
Do you have a story about a dog you want to share with me?
NTA. I can see being worried about you and even saying “I wish you wouldn’t do things like that and put yourself in danger” if that’s how she felt … but being angry you did is just rude – ESPECIALLY because it sounds like it was way more about you ruining vacation than it was about her concern for your own well-being.
I, personally, would intervene without a second thought.
I would divorce her the next day. Not kidding at all. I hate cowards.
Take advantage of the silence but offer her your shoulder/ear whenever she wants and be obnoxiously obvious about it, if she doesn’t want to communicate that’s on her
NTA I think you were a total hero to be honest. Your wife needs to be proud of you and stop making issues where there are none.
NTA and your wife is seriously unempathetic. How would she feel in the same situation if no one was helping her?!?. You did the right thing
Wow, your wife sounds like a horrible person from only this story. 0 civil courage.
Of course, putting yourself an arbitrary or unnecessary danger would’ve been thoughtless and inconsiderate of your wife. However, this other woman was in an urgent situation and needed assistance. Any decent person wouldn’t feel that they have the luxury of doing nothing in such a circumstance. You didn’t throw yourself in front of a train for the thrill of it, you helped someone in an emergency. These are not the same things. Good on you for helping this woman who clearly needed it.