I invited my bf to a work Christmas party 2 years ago. Whenever I have an issue with him he brings this up.
My bf is not a very social person he does not like being In peoples faces. I know how he is, In the weeks leading up to the party I told him if he really doesn’t wanna go and have fun then don’t come because I’ve been looking forward to the party and I didn’t wanna it at the table all night. We don’t really go out much and this was our first outing around others. When we got to the party I sat us at a table with a coworker he is familiar with. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and drag him around so I asked him to wait while I said hi to the older ladies i worked with I went said hi to them and others in the area male and female and went back to the table he seemed upset and asked me how I knew he didn’t want to walk around and say hi too, he’s right I shouldn’t have assumed I just know how he is and didn’t want to make him upset so I apologized, explained I didn’t wanna put him in the spotlight and stuck my hand out and said we can go now but he refused.
After that we ate and sat at the table I then asked him if he wanted to get a drink with me and he said no so I went and got a drink. Throughout the night I asked him if he wanted to do things like take pictures walk around and he said no. He also kind of seemed like he didn’t want to be there he wasn’t really talking and didn’t really want to do anything so I would get up and talk to people , take pictures and come back to check on him. I took pictures of us in his phone but he deleted them. I got up to play games and told him to watch me and came back after to make sure he saw me. I brought people to the table to introduce them to him. I tried to have fun and respect his space at the same time while checking on him too.
During the night he got up and left the building twice without saying anything, the first time I ran after him the second I let him go. He said he was thirsty the first time but there was a whole bar. When he came back the second time I was upset because I just wanted to have fun with him and he was making me feel like I was doing something wrong. So I did just let him sit at the enable for a half an hour so I could not be so upset cause I was crying.
He told me that I left him sitting by his self all night looking stupid and that he was my guest I should have sat with him and other peoples wives and girlfriends sat with them all night but I had to be up in everyone’s faces taking pictures with men with their arms around me. He said I was two faced. I act different around others.
AITA for not sitting with at the table with my bf all night?
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I invited my bf to a work Christmas party 2 years ago. Whenever I have an issue with him he brings this up.
My bf is not a very social person he does not like being In peoples faces. I know how he is, In the weeks leading up to the party I told him if he really doesn’t wanna go and have fun then don’t come because I’ve been looking forward to the party and I didn’t wanna it at the table all night. We don’t really go out much and this was our first outing around others. When we got to the party I sat us at a table with a coworker he is familiar with. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and drag him around so I asked him to wait while I said hi to the older ladies i worked with I went said hi to them and others in the area male and female and went back to the table he seemed upset and asked me how I knew he didn’t want to walk around and say hi too, he’s right I shouldn’t have assumed I just know how he is and didn’t want to make him upset so I apologized, explained I didn’t wanna put him in the spotlight and stuck my hand out and said we can go now but he refused.
After that we ate and sat at the table I then asked him if he wanted to get a drink with me and he said no so I went and got a drink. Throughout the night I asked him if he wanted to do things like take pictures walk around and he said no. He also kind of seemed like he didn’t want to be there he wasn’t really talking and didn’t really want to do anything so I would get up and talk to people , take pictures and come back to check on him. I took pictures of us in his phone but he deleted them. I got up to play games and told him to watch me and came back after to make sure he saw me. I brought people to the table to introduce them to him. I tried to have fun and respect his space at the same time while checking on him too.
During the night he got up and left the building twice without saying anything, the first time I ran after him the second I let him go. He said he was thirsty the first time but there was a whole bar. When he came back the second time I was upset because I just wanted to have fun with him and he was making me feel like I was doing something wrong. So I did just let him sit at the enable for a half an hour so I could not be so upset cause I was crying.
He told me that I left him sitting by his self all night looking stupid and that he was my guest I should have sat with him and other peoples wives and girlfriends sat with them all night but I had to be up in everyone’s faces taking pictures with men with their arms around me. He said I was two faced. I act different around others.
AITA for not sitting with at the table with my bf all night?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for being too friendly and not sitting at the table with my bf all night.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA but you will be for still being with him! This isn’t the behaviour of someone who deserves you as a girlfriend. He was given options to go with you multiple times and instead sulked. Go have fun at your next party
NTA, he was not your guest he was your plus 1, an adult who either should have communicated clearly in advance and informed you he will not join you in the party else once at the party actually put in effort to go say hi and mingle. Instead he acted like a sulking child and didn’t let you enjoy your night. He needs to grow up you are not his personal babysitter and entertainer at your own work event.
Nta, your boyfriend is a wet blanket at best. You deserve better. It has been two years and he still brings it up? Will he still bring it up in 20 years? You seem like an outgoing person and he seems like he would prefer not going out. Maybe ask yourself how compatible you really are.
ESH – Not asking him to tag along for introductions was a very bad move. However, he’s also the asshole for staying in a bad mood during the party. By now he should not be bringing it up every time, unless you’re still acting in a similar way.
NTA. He behaved like a ten year old child, and he sounds very insecure. If you act different around others, it’s because they don’t expect to be treated like spoiled children whose every little whim is catered to. He was TA for ruining a work party. Consider finding a different boyfriend unless you are happy at the prospect of spending the rest of your life keeping your career on the back burner so that you can dedicate that time to babysitting your husband instead.
You have been posting about your boyfriend for years, and every single time people tell you that you’re NTA and to dump him. What’s the point in people replying?
I’ve seen this situation multiple times from both sides. You don’t have to dump him over this, maybe he has other qualities, but he should step up if he agrees to come along, or graciously decline if he doesn’t want to be there. And you should be fine with that. While it’s nice to share your work friends with your partner it doesn’t always work, and that’s fine.
I’m very concerned about the resentment and the score keeping (bringing it up 2 YEARS LATER??) Sometimes couples have a bad night and you talk it out and move on hopefully… but it sounds like he’s incapable of letting it go, learning from it, or doing anything besides wanting to punish you for it.
Sounds miserable OP. Have there been brighter social engagements since then or have you isolated and dimmed your shine to protect his ego and insecurities?
NTA. A Christmas party isn’t a hostage situation. You gave him every chance to join in, but he chose to sit there like the human version of a “low battery” warning. If he wanted a plus-one experience, he had to at least plug himself in.
Girl. I have read some of your previous posts. Your boyfriend has been consistently awful for years and your relationship sounds rough. You’re NTA for the events described in this post but you are an asshole to yourself for staying in this relationship with a guy who you don’t like, who doesn’t like you, and who consistently treats you like shit.
NTA All I can think about while reading this is Sabrina Carpenter’s song Please Please Please.
You know dang good and well that this is not a relationship that should still be continuing. You try not to upset him with your first outing?! What the hell is the point? Sounds like you can’t even go on dates. I guess you have to sit there and stare at the ceiling fan. What a bore!
Don’t try to fix him, you’re incompatible. He sounds like a real drag and acts like a toddler.
NTA – I’ve read your history. Your boyfriend is lame.
NTA. He clearly went to the party with the intention of spoiling it for you. How else does he try to spoil your enjoyment of things?
You are NTA. Your bf is controlling. I would get out of that relationship fast. He does not want you to have fun or be you, and he pouts when you do. He has a jealousy problem, too. It’s not mentally healthy for you to be with him. Find someone who is fun like you and you will enjoy your life a lot more.
YTA 2x; 1 time to yourself. One commenter said it’s been years and lo and behold they were not exaggerating. It’s been years indeed that you’ve been with this person. Break up with them already and have some respect for yourself.
2nd, YTA to this subreddit; please stop being an askhole (someone who continues to ask for people’s advice/opinion and then disregards their input).
YTAskhole…
For Christ’s sake, break up already.
You Reddit history is post after post going back years about how horrible your boyfriend’s behavior is.
Dump his ass already.
Or, just continue being a doormat, and continue crying about him and his bad behavior du jour on Reddit. Your choice.
You know this behaviour is a control tactic right? I have an ex (note that word right there, EX) that would pull this kind of stunt. Took 9 years, lots of misery and him saying he expected me to put him before my career before I finally realised that I needed to leave him. And when I did, I realised that being single was so much better than I had been worried about. It was liberating.
If you’ve had years of this behaviour it can be difficult to believe that there is a better time without them. In the meantime, imagine you’ve got a Teflon shield around you and let his nasty little comments – he enjoys hurting you- slide off. Stop doing stuff for him (cooking, cleaning, washing etc) and act unbothered when he brings this event up again, or laugh . I hope you’re not in physical danger.
NTA dump him or shut up about him, girl, he isn’t changing.
Given your other post about your boyfriend trying to gatekeep your behaviours with your colleagues as well –
YTA to yourself for not having ditched this controlling AH YEARS ago.