I (18f) live at home with my parents (60f and 72m) and my sister (22f). I study and work part time, same as my sister, while my parents work full time. My parents and I share the housework between us, I end up doing a bit more since they work more than me. My sister is supposed to do chores, but she does nothing. My dad often ends up doing them for her which I think is totally unfair. She also makes him drive her to and from work since she doesnt have a drivers license, even though there is a bus she can easily catch.
My sister is really into sports, she studies sports management at university and is always watching formula one or football. She watches all the races and qualifying things and even spends her work money on going to some of the grand prix. Im happy that she has a passion and that her career is aligned with it, but its come to the point where its the only thing she talks about.
I honestly wouldn’t mind listening to it except that if I try to talk about anything else – life, my interests, the family – she shuts me down or is suddenly hotheaded and agitated. She doesnt even ask me how im doing or say good morning anymore. If I try to ask her to help me out around the house she will still ignore me, or if I persist she will get angry. The rest of the time, she is glued to her phone or computer, watching formula one or football.
It’s starting to make me honestly sad. That I don’t have a sister I can connect with. That the only time she wants to talk is when she wants to talk about sports, and I dont even like sports that much. We used to have a good relationship before she graduated highschool in 2020 but now I just dont know how to get through to her. When I bring up how I feel to her she gets so angry and calls me rude and mean that I dont want to hang out with her just because she likes sports.
So, heres where I might be the asshole: I’ve stopped talking to her. I ignore her during the day because she is just in her own sports world. When she comes down for breakfast, I wait til she is gone before I go and eat. (and then clean up her plates). Or, sometimes, for example, she will ask for a bit of what im eating, and i’ll make a snarky remark like ‘i’ll give you the chocolate if you do the dishes for once’ or something like that, or visibly roll my eyes or leave the room when she starts talking about formula one. I feel guilty for ignoring her and I feel like I should be doing something to connect with her but im so exhausted of trying to make conversations and then getting told that I am rude and nasty.
AITA for ignoring her when I feel like she only cares about sports, not me or the rest of the people in my family? Happy to answer questions. Just trying to get an outside perspective because I feel stuck
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I (18f) live at home with my parents (60f and 72m) and my sister (22f). I study and work part time, same as my sister, while my parents work full time. My parents and I share the housework between us, I end up doing a bit more since they work more than me. My sister is supposed to do chores, but she does nothing. My dad often ends up doing them for her which I think is totally unfair. She also makes him drive her to and from work since she doesnt have a drivers license, even though there is a bus she can easily catch.
My sister is really into sports, she studies sports management at university and is always watching formula one or football. She watches all the races and qualifying things and even spends her work money on going to some of the grand prix. Im happy that she has a passion and that her career is aligned with it, but its come to the point where its the only thing she talks about.
I honestly wouldn’t mind listening to it except that if I try to talk about anything else – life, my interests, the family – she shuts me down or is suddenly hotheaded and agitated. She doesnt even ask me how im doing or say good morning anymore. If I try to ask her to help me out around the house she will still ignore me, or if I persist she will get angry. The rest of the time, she is glued to her phone or computer, watching formula one or football.
It’s starting to make me honestly sad. That I don’t have a sister I can connect with. That the only time she wants to talk is when she wants to talk about sports, and I dont even like sports that much. We used to have a good relationship before she graduated highschool in 2020 but now I just dont know how to get through to her. When I bring up how I feel to her she gets so angry and calls me rude and mean that I dont want to hang out with her just because she likes sports.
So, heres where I might be the asshole: I’ve stopped talking to her. I ignore her during the day because she is just in her own sports world. When she comes down for breakfast, I wait til she is gone before I go and eat. (and then clean up her plates). Or, sometimes, for example, she will ask for a bit of what im eating, and i’ll make a snarky remark like ‘i’ll give you the chocolate if you do the dishes for once’ or something like that, or visibly roll my eyes or leave the room when she starts talking about formula one. I feel guilty for ignoring her and I feel like I should be doing something to connect with her but im so exhausted of trying to make conversations and then getting told that I am rude and nasty.
AITA for ignoring her when I feel like she only cares about sports, not me or the rest of the people in my family? Happy to answer questions. Just trying to get an outside perspective because I feel stuck
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m rude to her sometimes when she asks me for things because she never does anything for me. The only time she is nice is when things go her way, and as soon as it’s not i’m evil. So I bite back because I’m so frustrated at how she acts and it makes me feel bad, but I don’t know what to do or if my remarks are justified
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
You’re NTA because this sounds like years of frustration over the unequal treament you receive from your parents as well as the rude behavior you get from her.
What you’re doing is totally unproductive, but I can understand why it has come to this.
>When she comes down for breakfast, I wait til she is gone before I go and eat. (and then clean up her plates)
What I don’t understand is why you’re cleaning up after that entitled slob, unless you’re just doing it so your parents don’t have to deal with it. If that is so, I would quit being her maid. They made her this way. They can deal with her messes if they won’t insist she clean up after herself
NTA. She loves Formula 1; you don’t. But more importantly, you resent that she doesn’t seem to pull her weight when it comes to household tasks; I think that’s the real crux of the matter.
> she shuts me down or is suddenly hotheaded and agitated. She doesnt even ask me how im doing or say good morning anymore. If I try to ask her to help me out around the house she will still ignore me, or if I persist she will get angry. The rest of the time
NTA, That’s not a she cares a lot about F1 problem that is she doesn’t seem to care about you period.
Did you try bringing up how her getting angry about things you enjoy and not helping in the house brothers you?
This is your sister’s fault, but also just as much your parents’ fault. Your sister needs some real parenting.
NTA
Have your sister checked for adhd or autism.
Nonetheless you are nta