So just a quick one cos I feel like maybe I am going mad.
My partner works from home 2 days a week in the living room. So I try to be as quiet as possible during these times – the rare time I have the tv on its through my earbuds, I won’t hoover or play music or anything. Most of the time I stay completely clear of the living room.
Today I was quietly ironing – i would argue it’s impossible to do this loudly – he’s on a call to someone and then loudly starts to berate me saying ‘I’m on a work call so keep it down!!’. I had not said anything word or even a damn whisper but was simply ironing!
After he came off the call I asked him if he was being serious to which he replied he was….am I losing my mind here? AITA?!
I had to go get some air and calm down because I go to some lengths to specifically not disturb him and he just came up to me and said I didn’t realise that turning jeans inside out (I iron them inside out) was way too loud.
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So just a quick one cos I feel like maybe I am going mad.
My partner works from home 2 days a week in the living room. So I try to be as quiet as possible during these times – the rare time I have the tv on its through my earbuds, I won’t hoover or play music or anything. Most of the time I stay completely clear of the living room.
Today I was quietly ironing – i would argue it’s impossible to do this loudly – he’s on a call to someone and then loudly starts to berate me saying ‘I’m on a work call so keep it down!!’. I had not said anything word or even a damn whisper but was simply ironing!
After he came off the call I asked him if he was being serious to which he replied he was….am I losing my mind here? AITA?!
I had to go get some air and calm down because I go to some lengths to specifically not disturb him and he just came up to me and said I didn’t realise that turning jeans inside out (I iron them inside out) was way too loud.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think i explained it in my post. AITA for ironing loudly?!
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA my ironing board squeaks, so maybe that’s it? Even so, it is not okay for him to speak to you that way. He can iron his own clothes from now on
That seems ridiculous to me. NTA
NTA, he can’t expect total quite while WFH if you are there.
” i would argue it’s impossible to do this loudly” but if he could tell you were ironing obviously you were doing it loud enough that he could hear through headphones.
Do you live in a studio, if not can you iron in a bedroom?
Overall you two need to talk and figure out a better WFH system.
Leave him …
Sorry but for yelling for doing chores, especially ironing damn clothes?!
That’s grounds for leaving.
He needs to do a lot to gain back your trust again.
NTA, but maybe he could be getting distracted
ESH – he shouldn’t have spoken to you the way he did, but I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on work with someone else in the room.
NTA. That was a rude way of handling things by him. It is possible ironing to be loud though
Nta. Ai work from home and i have a family and a dog. I dont demand their silence. Instead a purchased a good pair of noise canceling headphones. He buggn. If he needs silence like that, he should work in office.
NTA.
He’s an AH for how he snapped at you. That was not called for. I can only assume that he was anxious or irritated about something work-related.
I’m sure the others on the call could not hear you turning jeans inside-out, but I suppose he could. And both the quiet noises and the movement in the corner of his eye were probably distracting.
But as you said, you normally avoid the living room completely when he’s on a call. You should make that “always.” It’s only 2 days a week.
NTA
You still have to ‘live’ at home and he cannot expect 100% silence for 2 full days, it’s unreasonable. Tell him that he is being ridiculous and that in any work environment, there is not 100% silence.
Noise cancellnig earphones will fix that, time for HIM to do something and not put it all on your shoulders. He is bringing his working into your home while you’re there. He needs to work this out.
Were you steaming while ironing? Maybe it was the movement? I’d say NAH, but the movement could be really distracting and cause a break in concentration.
NTA, but the big question here is: WHY are you ironing jeans?
NTA …. Make him return to the office full time! Or find him a place to work out of that is NOT in the communal living area! This is your home also! To expect you to put your life on silence 2 days a week is outrageous!
NTA. Bruh, ironing is not a drum solo, He’s being extra, like you’re supposed to levitate while doing chores. Take a breath, he’s being ridiculous.
Not to be alarmist but are there other ways that he is very, let’s say, precise? Correcting? Regularly finding fault? People who are controlling are often doing it by way of lots of small, but nonetheless unreasonable, oppressions. That way it’s hard to call them out, but you suddenly find you’ve had no room to manoeuvre or just relax and be for years.
Or you might just have a squeaky ironing board that you’ve tuned out!
I hope you weren’t doing his ironing, and if you were, stop doing it at once.
If my partner spoke to me like that just once, he’d be sleeping in his car. But he never would because we have respect and appreciation for each other.
Don’t put up with crap like that. Ever.
NTA. I work from home and if I have an important call I close the door and let everyone know. (It sounds like there is no door though in this case).
Otherwise it’s pretty normal to have a bit of background noise, it’s still your house and I think most people understand others are around if you work from home so perfect silence isn’t needed
NAH. They shouldn’t have snapped at you, but it sounds like an uncomfortable working arrangement. If your living space is so small that turning jeans inside out can be heard from wherever the workspace is, it might be too small for WFH for two people. If I were you, I think I might just find other places to be for those two days and work on house stuff the other days of the week.
NTA, this is not reasonable. He needs to get a really good headset, or move to another room. You can’t tiptoe around the entire day when he’s working from home.
INFO: Has he explained exactly what was loud and disturbing?
If he needs to be undisturbed on calls and such, he needs to pick elsewhere in the house to be. The main living area of a shared house isn’t the place.
NTA but I do have a question…were you ironing his clothes by any chance? That matters. Because if you’re ironing your own for a leisurely outing with the ladies while he’s working hard and resenting you for it, that’s a whole different “wrinkle” in the conversation.
It’s not as much ironing as it is that you were a distraction when he needed to concentrate.
If you need his income to do things like pay rent, pay for groceries, etc – then you should work together to solve this so he can have the quiet he needs to work but you also can get your tasks completed. If he loses his job it will probably be bad for both of you.
You’d be surprised at how loud rustling clothing can be when you’re trying to concentrate. If it’s a steam iron then that can be even louder.
I’ll say NAH. You’re not deliberately trying to be annoying or make noise but you are doing exactly that. Maybe leave the ironing for one of the other 5 days a week when he’s not working from home if using a different room for either is not an option.
NTA he works in an office 3 days a week where he doesn’t have a door or a closed in space. He’s surrounded by noise all the time and turning jeans inside out bothered him? 🙄 yeah right
NTA. If he can’t handle working from home through normal, reasonable distractions, he isn’t someone who needs to be working from home. If you were running a vacuum in the same room or banging dishes, it’d be different, but expecting complete silence while WFH isn’t reasonable. Tell him to put some headphones on and close the damn door.