A Indian boy from a conservative family got a freshman Mexican girl pregnant. He was a popular jock in school and they met at a football game we went to. I introduced them. They began dating and he began pressuring her for sex. Long story short they dated for about 6 months before she became pregnant. When she told him he told her to get an abortion and he broke up with her telling her he couldn’t be with a non Indian girl. After getting pregnant she home schooled for a year, had the baby, and he ignored her when she got back. All us Indian kids knew the drama and all our parents knew his parents- they were a affluential family. Was a weird secret that we kept and all the kids gossiped about at temple when we would see him and his parents.
A few years after- one day at temple all the moms were talking about how it was a miracle a lady got pregnant at 47 and had a baby recently. I asked my mom who and it was that guys mom. I had left for college and had lost touch with my friend but out of concern I found her on Facebook. She told me his parents somehow found out years later and went to her looking to develop a relationship under false pretense. Soon after they met they put a PI on her and then manipulated her, threatened CPS/ legal. Eventually they paid her, NDAed her and her parents and took full custody (closed adoption) of the baby girl. So now everyone including the baby girl thinks her grandparents are her parents but to this day all us kids from his class know the truth. All the adults have no idea.
Fast forward to today (17yrs since) I met the kid recently at a dinner party when I was visiting my parents. She was now 17 about to graduate high school. She was still calling her grandparents, mom and dad and she asked me what her brother was like in high school. It took me a minute as she looked like a copy paste of her mom in high school and it took me by surprise. I could tell she thought my reaction was weird. Honestly, I had forgotten all about this since I had left for college and I had not been back in over a decade. As soon as she asked me I also noticed a couple of the people from our high school class that were there too in the room began looking really uncomfortable and watching us. In the moment I lied and said I didn’t really know him in high school. I knew him very well and her mom was a very close friend of mine then. I’ve been thinking about trying to find her mom and getting back in touch with her. But AITA for also still keeping this secret for this long? Or AITA if I tell her and blow her life up?
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A Indian boy from a conservative family got a freshman Mexican girl pregnant. He was a popular jock in school and they met at a football game. They began dating and he began pressuring her for sex. Long story short they dated for about 6 months before she became pregnant. When she told him he told her to get an abortion and he broke up with her telling her he couldn’t be with a non Indian girl. After getting pregnant she home schooled for a year, had the baby, and he ignored her when she got back. All us Indian kids knew the drama and all our parents knew his parents- they were a affluential family. Was a weird secret that we kept and all the high school kids gossiped about at temple when we would see him and his parents. A few years after- one day at temple all the moms were talking about how it was a miracle a lady got pregnant at 47 and had a baby recently. I asked my mom who and it was that guys mom. I had left for college and had lost touch with my friend but out of concern I found her on Facebook. She told me his parents somehow found out years later and went to her looking to develop a relationship under false pretense. Soon after they met they put a PI on her and then manipulated her, threatened CPS/ legal. Eventually they paid her, NDAed her and her parents and took full custody (closed adoption) of the baby girl. So now everyone including the baby girl thinks her grandparents are her parents but to this day all us kids from his class know the truth. All the adults have no idea. Fast forward to day (17yrs since) I met the kid recently at a dinner party when I was visiting my parents. She was now 17 about to graduate high school. She was still calling her grandparents, mom and dad and she asked me what her brother was like in high school. It took me a minute as she looked like a copy paste of her mom in high school and it took me by surprise. I could tell she thought my reaction was weird. Honestly, I had forgotten all about this since I had left for college and I had not been back in over a decade. As soon as she asked me I also noticed a couple of the people from our high school class that were there too in the room began looking really uncomfortable and watching us. In the moment I lied and said I didn’t really know him in high school. I’ve been thinking about trying to find her mom and getting back in touch with her. But AITA for also still keeping this secret for this long? Or AITA if do tell her and blow her life up?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Not helping my friend get her daughter back and upholding a lie for 17 years. And when I had the opportunity to tell the daughter when she got older I didn’t and I lied about what her father was like in high school.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
>do tell her and blow her life up?
No. Don’t. She doesn’t deserve that. No way.
>He was a popular jock in school and they met at a football game. They began dating and he began pressuring her for sex.
This is the sort of thing that makes me hope Karmic retribution is a thing.
I would find her mom and ask her if she wants a relationship with her daughter, if not I’d leave it be, if she does but they are threatening her or something I would help her as much as possible, help her find a good lawyer and involve authorities.
Is it possible to sound more like ai?
NTA. It’s not your story to tell, and you don’t know them that well. I’m sure the mom remembers, and if she wanted/ask able to would reach out.
Also you should break this up a bit into a few paragraphs in to make this a bit easier to read.
That’s crazy. When the ocean is calm, we pray for no lightning. I don’t think you should tell the child; it’s not your drama to start. Has the child ever been curious about her parentage? How is mom doing?
YTA for not sectioning this wall of text into paragraphs.NTA for keeping quiet. Unless her mom is asking you to help her reveal the truth, or the girl finds out something and is asking you for more information, best thing would be to pretend you don’t know anything for now.
Look you’re gonna be messing with some very manipulative, cunning people who seemingly have very good lawyers. It’s not fair for the girl at all but if you try, she’s gonna try to rekindle with her mother, and then they’re gonna go after her mother accusing her of breaking the NDA. But then again ur the only one who could possibly tell her so it’s tough
NTA for keeping it—it’s not your secret to tell. But this situation is messier than a soap opera (which, of course, we won’t mention). If anything, reconnecting with her mom seems like the best first step before making any big moves.
Please don’t tell her. It’s not your secret to share. you don’t know anything about her life. She could be living the best life possible which you’ll ruin if you reveal this. eventually it’s up to the concerned parties like ker parents and grandparents to decide
to me it reads like they pressured the mother into giving up her baby. which is pretty monstrous. and if that’s accurate, I’d definitely tell the girl.
That girl deserves to know the truth. Maybe not in that moment, but she does deserve to know.