My F22 girlfriends F23 birthday was yesterday. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never really liked her friends that much. I think they are all very self centered and very bad friends to my gf. She has known them all for 5 years+ so I’ve never felt it was my place to be too harsh. They have hurt her feelings multiple times. And her last two birthdays have been especially bad. I feel like they cannot handle the attention not being on them.
One of the two times, she had a party/pregame at her place, and she wanted to wait to go out clubbing until it was midnight so it would officially be her birthday, which I agreed was fair. Some of them couldn’t wait and left early, while others during singing happy birthday stood in the hallway taking pictures of each other and talking, and looking angry that they weren’t getting attention. I didn’t say anything to them but i thought it was rude.
The year after was basically the same if not worse. She lived with a few of them, and they didn’t want to go to the bar she wanted to, and they ended up splitting up. They then said they were tired and would be on they way home. Me and my gf got back to their place before they did, and these fuckers fucking showed up with a whole after party, at my gfs actual birthday after they said they were tired. Who does that?Both times my girlfriend expressed that it made her sad.
Now this year, me and my girlfriend have moved in together and had the party at our place. There were a lot of other people there than her friends, but her friends were acting so rude. All of these things how they wanted to leave to a club, and barely talked to my girlfriend, leaving during happy birthday. Saying they were bored. Other people were standing around looking shocked they were saying this out loud. My girlfriend went to the bathroom, I think to cry. I then lost it. It has been three years of this as long as I’ve been in the picture and I have had enough.
I said “you haven’t been invited to a fucking regular pregame, but her birthday party. Have some respect and stop thinking about yourself all the god damn time. You guys have been acting like this every single one of her birthdays and I’m so sick of you treating my gf like shit. You will not have that attitude in our house, and if that is to difficult for you guys then you have to leave and let the rest of us actually have a good time”
They got shocked because I don’t think anyone has ever spoken to them that way before. They left. My gf came back and I told her what had happened and she thanked me and it seemed like she had a great time the rest of the night. But other people have today said I am an asshole for talking to them like that and making a scene. They also haven’t spoken to my gf today. Am I the asshole?
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My F22 girlfriends F23 birthday was yesterday. I’m gonna be honest, I’ve never really liked her friends that much. I think they are all very self centered and very bad friends to my gf. She has known them all for 5 years+ so I’ve never felt it was my place to be too harsh. They have hurt her feelings multiple times. And her last two birthdays have been especially bad. I feel like they cannot handle the attention not being on them.
One of the two times, she had a party/pregame at her place, and she wanted to wait to go out clubbing until it was midnight so it would officially be her birthday, which I agreed was fair. Some of them couldn’t wait and left early, while others during singing happy birthday stood in the hallway taking pictures of each other and talking, and looking angry that they weren’t getting attention. I didn’t say anything to them but i thought it was rude.
The year after was basically the same if not worse. She lived with a few of them, and they didn’t want to go to the bar she wanted to, and they ended up splitting up. They then said they were tired and would be on they way home. Me and my gf got back to their place before they did, and these fuckers fucking showed up with a whole after party, at my gfs actual birthday after they said they were tired. Who does that?Both times my girlfriend expressed that it made her sad.
Now this year, me and my girlfriend have moved in together and had the party at our place. There were a lot of other people there than her friends, but her friends were acting so rude. All of these things how they wanted to leave to a club, and barely talked to my girlfriend, leaving during happy birthday. Saying they were bored. Other people were standing around looking shocked they were saying this out loud. My girlfriend went to the bathroom, I think to cry. I then lost it. It has been three years of this as long as I’ve been in the picture and I have had enough.
I said “you haven’t been invited to a fucking regular pregame, but her birthday party. Have some respect and stop thinking about yourself all the god damn time. You guys have been acting like this every single one of her birthdays and I’m so sick of you treating my gf like shit. You will not have that attitude in our house, and if that is to difficult for you guys then you have to leave and let the rest of us actually have a good time”
They got shocked because I don’t think anyone has ever spoken to them that way before. They left. My gf came back and I told her what had happened and she thanked me and it seemed like she had a great time the rest of the night. But other people have today said I am an asshole for talking to them like that and making a scene. They also haven’t spoken to my gf today. Am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Bc I threw my gfs friends out of her birthday party, because they were rude. I kinda made a scene
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
It seems like she just keeps planning super boring parties. Who wants to wait until midnight to go clubbing?
NTA. If your GF was fine with it, why should you care what other people think?
NTA. Your girlfriend needs to get in therapy and find out why she puts up with such poor treatment. They don’t sound like friends at all. I’m glad you had her back.
F ‘em and good for you.
You are NTA. In fact you’re a hero! Next year do something with just the 2 of you for her birthday. Even if just checking into a nice local hotel for a couple days.
NTA!!! Your girlfriend was putting up with too much, she was kind of being a pushover tbh. Hopefully she knows now that those “friends” were anything but that, and she finds better ones. Good on you for standing up to them.
NTA, excellent shiny spine
Good for you sounds fine but there is a larger issue. Your gf is a Leo and I have learned with my current gf of 5 years that Leos are psycho about their birthdays and there is always drama. This wanting to have the birthday start at midnight the night before and being hyper aware of how everyone else is behaving is classic. You may want to consider taking a de-escalation path in future years because it does blow over. I have found that only a massive expensive party where she is the center of attention makes a Leo happy, and even then the drama and stress is maxed and if the party isn’t on her exact birthday you better have a second smaller party on the actual birthday. Basically you just need to survive a Leo’s birthday, nobody has any fun. The first year I was out of town for work and it caused a big fight but it might have been my favorite birthday.
NTA, boyfriend of the year and I’m sure it felt GREAT
Edit: OP corrected me, you don’t need to