Hello Redditors,
As the title suggests, i’m kicking my boyfriends brother out today.
For context, I, 22F, and my boyfriend, 24M, have been together for 4 years. We have lived together for 3.
My boyfriend, let’s call him O, has allowed his brother 26M, let’s call him G, to live with us for the past 3 months.
G has a notorious past of living with multiple people, including his sisters, and eventually being kicked out. G is unsanitary, unhygienic and sloppy. Above all that he is very ungrateful. These past three months I had to clean up his mess, cook dinner, do his laundry, and i can’t even get a thank you. Me and my boyfriend O went on vacation to Spain last week, and when we came back home on saturday our house was a full blown mess. My mom and his aunt came over to check on our pets and the house every other day and it was messy every time, my pets didn’t have any food or water. We were livid. Now here’s the thing: my boyfriend O is very soft and kind in nature. He tried to have a talk with his brother G about his behavior. As i had guessed, this talk didn’t yield anything. We have talked with G over and over, he has debts up to 20k. I’m the complete opposite and i’m fed up, to word it lightly. I’m planning on packing his stuff this afternoon, locking the front door (because G has a key) and texting him, telling him his stuff is packed and ready to go. He still owes my boyfriend around €500 for rent and consumption. I’m afraid my boyfriend won’t receive his money. Overall this is a complicated and very frustrating situation and i’m at my wits end with this guy. He also has lied about so many things. He has pretended to leave for work and ends up not going. He lies about his debts. My boyfriend works shifts, and 2 days ago his brother brought in a girl to our home without telling us. So, AITA for kicking his brother out because my boyfriend doesn’t dare?
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Hello Redditors,
As the title suggests, i’m kicking my boyfriends brother out today.
For context, I, 22F, and my boyfriend, 24M, have been together for 4 years. We have lived together for 3.
My boyfriend, let’s call him O, has allowed his brother 26M, let’s call him G, to live with us for the past 3 months.
G has a notorious past of living with multiple people, including his sisters, and eventually being kicked out. G is unsanitary, unhygienic and sloppy. Above all that he is very ungrateful. These past three months I had to clean up his mess, cook dinner, do his laundry, and i can’t even get a thank you. Me and my boyfriend O went on vacation to Spain last week, and when we came back home on saturday our house was a full blown mess. My mom and his aunt came over to check on our pets and the house every other day and it was messy every time, my pets didn’t have any food or water. We were livid. Now here’s the thing: my boyfriend O is very soft and kind in nature. He tried to have a talk with his brother G about his behavior. As i had guessed, this talk didn’t yield anything. We have talked with G over and over, he has debts up to 20k. I’m the complete opposite and i’m fed up, to word it lightly. I’m planning on packing his stuff this afternoon, locking the front door (because G has a key) and texting him, telling him his stuff is packed and ready to go. He still owes my boyfriend around €500 for rent and consumption. I’m afraid my boyfriend won’t receive his money. Overall this is a complicated and very frustrating situation and i’m at my wits end with this guy. He also has lied about so many things. He has pretended to leave for work and ends up not going. He lies about his debts. My boyfriend works shifts, and 2 days ago his brother brought in a girl to our home without telling us. So, AITA for kicking his brother out because my boyfriend doesn’t dare?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My action, kicking someone out who’s kinda in need and has been kicked out and denied everywhere else.
Why it could make me TA? He would probably end up living in a tent in someone’s backyard again. I can see why people would call me TA over this action.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA but your bf should do it. It’s his brother, so his responsibility. If you start stepping in to manage his family relationships for him, that does not bode well for your future/relationship.
NTA. He did this to himself. I’m surprised you didn’t do this earlier tbh.
You had me at ‘he didn’t feed your pets’. NTA.
He might be your boyfriend’s brother, but it’s your home, you cleaning up after him, and your pets. You have every right.
NTA your bf won’t be vetting any money but he’s already 500 behind in a few months that figure will only increase do it now
No
Kick him out, change the locks and take him to small claims court if he doesn’t pay the 500 back. Also check hat is your legal protection and if he has squatters rights( hope not).
His family did the same. You as a gf have 0 responsibility for a grown man who refuses to act his age.
I would also documents with photos what he has done. For incase he tries something later.
Good luck!
NTA – but be prepared that your boyfriend MAY allow him back in. You may need to stop catering to both of them or tell boyfriend that you are moving out.
People like the brother always have many enablers, of which your boyfriend is the biggest one. Think about the future you have ahead.
I’m looking at you funny for doing his laundry. You also contributed to spoiling a bum.
NTA but learn from this, If he is regularly kicked out for being a messy mooch then he is likely to be a messy mooch with you. Don’t hesitate, pack him up and move him out. Your real issue is with your boyfriend accepting this behaviour and not dealing with his brother. Your boyfriend is happy enough to have YOU cleaning, cooking and taking care of his brother so he doesn’t have to worry about it. Why are you doing his laundry? Why are you cooking for him? Those are the real issues to look at.
You’re not the asshole. But the real issue is not the brother: you’re not dating G; you’re dating O. It sounds like you’re going to have to have a hard conversation with O and let him know that his brother’s boundless mooching doesn’t align with your financial or relationship goals. It’s totally fair to want to have a safe, secure space for you and your relationship! You should find out now whether or not that priority is shared with O or not.
NTA.
Be prepared to stand your ground if the brother argues that you are not the only one paying the bills and your boyfriend says he can stay. You may need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend about which person should leave, you or his brother because all three living together is no longer an option.
NTA, you are doing the right thing kicking out the brother. But rethink the weak BF. Do you really see a future with someone like him? That brother is going to pop up in the future and cause problems again.
NTA
Kick him out and never let him back in.
Your boyfriend should have been the one cleaning up after him and doing the cooking and the laundry.
Why was that put on you?
NTA. Someone needs the shiny steel spine – glad you have one. Get rid of the garbage today.
So NTA, move ahead with your plans. What the brother did is ridiculous and he sounds filthy.
NTA – and if your BF lets him in again – leave or kick both out.
You will never get ruf of him and he won‘t change as Long as he finds enablers.
Get him out now. If your bf doesn’t agree, ask is it more important brother to be there or you.