Myself and another manager, Joe, at our workplace (both of us approximately same age and men) were talking with one or our employees, Ryan, about the plans for next week. Joe has a dry sense of humor and says a lot of jokes deadpan.
As we were wrapping up, Joe told Ryan to do a task for him and Ryan responded “sure.” Joe then said with a straight face, “No, don’t say sure.’ You say yes.” I thought that this was a kind of weird joke and laughed a little. Ryan just said “Yes” and went about his way.
After this, Joe asked me why I laughed and I said I thought he was making a little joke about being picky with responses. Joe said it’s not picky, explaining that “I told him to do something, it’s a command from his manager, not a request. By saying sure, he is treating it like it’s a request and like he has discretion on his part. By saying yes, he’s showing he understands he needs to follow orders.” He then told me that it was rude for me to laugh at what he said in front of our employee.
I sort of see where he’s coming from in that “sure” sounds more casual, but it seems super uptight on his part to react that way. I did not apologize for laughing at what he said and don’t feel I owe him one.
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Myself and another manager, Joe, at our workplace (both of us approximately same age and men) were talking with one or our employees, Ryan, about the plans for next week. Joe has a dry sense of humor and says a lot of jokes deadpan.
As we were wrapping up, Joe told Ryan to do a task for him and Ryan responded “sure.” Joe then said with a straight face, “No, don’t say sure.’ You say yes.” I thought that this was a kind of weird joke and laughed a little. Ryan just said “Yes” and went about his way.
After this, Joe asked me why I laughed and I said I thought he was making a little joke about being picky with responses. Joe said it’s not picky, explaining that “I told him to do something, it’s a command from his manager, not a request. By saying sure, he is treating it like it’s a request and like he has discretion on his part. By saying yes, he’s showing he understands he needs to follow orders.” He then told me that it was rude for me to laugh at what he said in front of our employee.
I sort of see where he’s coming from in that “sure” sounds more casual, but it seems super uptight on his part to react that way. I did not apologize for laughing at what he said and don’t feel I owe him one.
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> I was wrong in assuming Joe was joking and may have embarrassed him.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA… Joe is TA… it’s giving Candace Bergen saying “Yes” instead of “Yea” in Miss Congeniality.
Sure sounds like Joe needs to lay off the “coffee”
NTA but your boss sure is. Sounds like a power trip if I ever heard one.
Joe sounds like an AH.
sure = yes = affirmative = all right = certainly and so on.
NTA.
NTA. Joe is nit-picking for whatever reason. Sure and Yes are both affirmative in the situation. It sounds like Joe is trying to flex his authority just because he can.
NTA
Not apologizing and accurately gauging that you don’t owe him an apology is exactly the right response. Let him act the fool all on his own.
NTA. Joe sounds super controlling with an inflated sense of self importance. You don’t have to be rude to your employees to be an effective manager.
I mean, saying “yes” also implies there’s some sort of optionality involved does it not? Your fellow manager is just a petty tyrant.
NTA. Joe is, though.
It’s not a command, Ryan has a choice. He is allowed to say no, if he wants to. May get him fired, but that’s part of the choice.
Honestly, if I was Ryan this sort of micromanagement would have me on indeed the next day. Who needs the shit for an obviously minimum wage job? I would suck it up until I could get out of there.
> it’s a command from his manager,
NTA – Joe needs to loosen up just a touch I think. People who have this kind of power tripping crap always get upset at the slightest thing that they think disrespects their authority, like get a fucking life.
NTA. Joe seems kinda up himself.
NTA.
First off, as somebody with a sense of humor that is, at times, as dry as the surface of Mars, I’m fully aware that I have to be clear about how I speak and am aware that some people may misconstrue serious statements as humor and vice-versa, and that’s my responsibility, not theirs.
Second… did this guy really make a big deal out of “sure” vs. “yes”? Did this grown ass adult seriously just throw a hissy fit over which commonly-used affirmative response somebody uses just because one of them helps him feel important? Double NTA because this Joe guy sounds like a f*ckin c *nt.
You’re not an asshole but Joe has a good point. “Sure” can sound a little dismissive. Not my style to correct people this way but I don’t know his history with this employee. This whole exchange between you is not a big deal.
Your manager sounds like an asshole
NTA…I hope Joe gets run over by a forklift. He is the asshole boss everyone hates and gets a bonus for treating people like animals that need to be trained, herded, used and discarded.
Sounds like a military thing. I did an academy with an ex Army special ops guy, and he was really particular about precise language. It can be useful in a regimented group that needs to function like a well oiled machine.
If this guy was a bit of a problem and needed more focus/discipline it might make sense. The tone of “Sure” might also be a factor.
No, you’re not. But apologize and get it over with. He see it as you undermining his authority. An apology is nothing for you to do but is important to him. Then forget all about it.
Lmao sounds like he is on a power trip wtf. Nta
Joe may seem the AH, but if you are smart, you’ll listen to him. He has a mind capable of nuance and willing to teach and mentor. He may seem harsh in your current workplace, but if you are diligent in your work, you may land in an elevated environment someday where Joe’s lightbulb comes on for you.
Soft YTA because you are still learning. Do not ever comment, through words or sound, in a situation like this, unless your equal in management, or superior, asks you to do so. Listen and learn.
NTA. Joe is an asshole.
It sounds like Joe’s an asshole. When one manager screamed “Front and center” to me, he learned a lesson. Employers don’t own an employee, they rent them. And certain terms and conditions apply. That “boss” learned to request. Not command. Fortunately, he was a fast learner.
NTA Joe’s spouting a lot of control freak bs. “Sure” does not imply it’s any more or less optional than “yes.” There’s an argument for using “yes” as a more formal/professional tone but most workplaces are past that and are perfectly fine using casual language. Joe just wants to feel superior.
But it is a request that he is making. Ryan doesn’t have to do the task. He can choose to or he could choose to just walk out the door and find another job.
NTA, that level of power trip sounds like a joke, so Joe himself is a walking joke and the asshole.
NTA. Joe can take that stick right out of his ass, get off his high horse, and realise that he’s (presumably) a low-level manager, not a fucking dictator.
But then low-level managers tend to be that way, no offence.
NTA. Joe sounds… weird. Either way, you didn’t do anything wrong here.
NTA. Your friend won’t last long as a manager with that attitude though.
honestly joe sounds like the real uptight one here. laughing at a joke you thought was a joke isn’t rude, it’s just normal. he needs to chill a bit.
NTA. You do not owe him an apology. He’s on a power trip. My ex used to get upset when I said “sure”. He’s a dick and a narcissist.
“Sure” to me shows more enthusiasm and willingness to do it. Saying “yes” sounds like, yeah, I’ll do it, but I won’t like it.
I’d much rather “sure” as a response when I tell someone to do something.
Fricking “commands” and “orders” lmao
Laughing at Sgt Major Joe is the only reasonable response
NTA
Joe sounds like the typical TSA employee who needs to feel important
You said “manager” but meant to type “dildo”
Joe’s stupid if he thinks it’s a command. All employees have a choice, and Joe is a jerk. He shouldn’t be in a position of power with his little fascist attitude.
NTA. “Sure” is short for “sure thing” and I would think it carries as much weight in meaning as “yes.”
Boss is on a power trip. Ignore this incident unless he is throwing an internal hissy for over your reaction. Not worth losing your job over it, unless you are thinking of leaving. Good luck.
NTA. Joe sounds like like a dick. Dont be like Joe.
Joe has a telephone pole sized stick up his ass
Ryan should answer “Will do” or “No problemo” and watch Joe spin out.
NTA. You misread a comment from someone known for deadpan humor it happens. Joe’s reaction seems like an overcorrection. “Sure” isn’t insubordinate, it’s just conversational. If he wants to run a boot camp, maybe he should clarify expectations privately, not make it weird in front of others.
NTA. “Sure” is acquiescence, the same as “yes”, (unless you define “sure” in the sense of ‘sure-footed’ or something similar). Yes and Sure are synonyms. Your co-worker/manager is both:
A. On a power trip; and
B. Bad at English
It was a charitable kindness for you to assume it was a joke because no reasonable person would ever be such a crank. NTA
power trip much – what a control freak weirdo
NTA, the workplace isn’t the military or the S&M club. He doesn’t need to be weird about the org chart and specific wordings.
I would have giggle snorted myself, he should understand and accept your answer..no apologies needed especially if your going to giggle in the middle. NTA
Nope this is not on you. Joe is the asshole.
Ryan should have replied, “Yes drill sargeant!”
I’m 63 and it still irritates me when I say “thank you” and someone replies “no problem”. My own adult kids say this, and I’ve tried to adjust, but it still annoys me.
I’m guess your co-manager is older, or possibly from a different region (or the employee who responded “sure” is). “Sure” would bother me a lot less than “no problem”. GAH.
eta: NTA.
Is he anal? SURE is! NTA.
You are NTA.
But today you learned that Joe is a sad little, petty, power-hungry, a-hole.
Joe sound scary. I would have hr check his devices just in case
NTA. Joes needs to chill out.
Joe needs to unclench. You may also have misinterpreted his attitude for dry humor. NTA.
His response deserved to be laughed at. Definitely don’t apologize. His behavior is gross. “Command from his manager.” Ew.
NTA this guy is power tripping. How sad do you have to be that you need to exert control over your employee like this. Employees work with you, not just for you. You need them as much as they need you. He needs to show some respect.
NTA. This Joe is a piece of work and a bad manager.
If I was the employee I would have laughed. Then if he told me it was a command I would have commanded him to fuck right off
Joe is a knob
What he’s really hoping for is “yes SIR!”, maybe with a snappy salute along with it. That would be fun to try, how could he object?? Nobody just says “yes” when someone gives them a task, that’s not how the language is (in the US, 2025).
NTA. But no, please don’t see where he’s coming from. He’s coming from nowhere and he’s going nowhere fast. He is a sad little man desperately clinging to the one shred of power he has been given in this world.
Massive any man who must say he is king isn’t one vibes
Oh dear, I have some news for Joe – every single thing you ask an employee to do is a request. There are no ‘orders’. It’s not prison. It’s not the military. They are there of their own free will, and can decide to leave whenever they want.
As for laughing, you are NTA. Because what he said was a joke, whether he meant it to be or not.
NTA
Tag me in the response post after you show Joe what an AssHat he is? 🤔
“Yes” is fine, but “Sure!” is bettah… 😁
NTA
That guy’s an idiot and will have people working against him in no time.
NTA. He’s an employer, not a drill sergeant. He doesn’t get to issue commands. He can issue requirements that could result in termination of employment, but he cannot issue commands and if that’s his attitude, I would look for a different job. When you are an employee, part of being a good employee is making suggestions if you think there’s a more profitable way to accomplish something, whether that means a method requires fewer resources or it results in higher sales.
“Sure” is an expression of certainty, equivalent to “yes”. Joe is power tripping.
Joe seems like he’s power tripping a little, for real. What he’s doing is creating a hostile work environment. Saying “sure” is a perfectly acceptable way to respond unless you guys are all in the military.
NTA
TBH I am not even sure (haha) how ‘yes’ would be an appropriate response in most cases unless you worded the ‘command’ in such a way that it sounded optional..
Request: Hey, could/would you do xxx? ‘Yes, sure, ok etc.’
Command: Get xxx done. ‘Ok, sure thing, will do, right on it, of course etc.’ *Unless one were saying ‘yes sir/ma’am etc.’. Just saying ‘yes’ seems a bit odd to me.
His being upset about what word is used is ridiculous unless this employee has a habit of saying they didn’t understand what was requested/commanded of them. Maybe if they have a continual issue of insubordination or something, but I imagine if a supervisor acts like that on the regular, THAT is why employees are being jerks lol.
Ugggghh definitely NTA. My bf gets soooooooo mad when I say “sure” about anything!! He says it shows indecisiveness and implies that you are in fact, NOT sure.
I think that is so stupid!! I’ve literally, in my 40 years of life, never known anyone else to have this same view. Obviously, what he said was news to me! I still think its dumb and often say “sure” to piss him off 😂
But how is anyone supposed to know that you’re that weird dick? That was extremely rude of Joe, especially since it seems you guys were all bullshitting and talking like friends moments before. Be management or be friends, you can’t do both in that instance. Ryan said sure, I’ma take care of it, and Joe went and was a dick bcuz he didn’t like a word.
You should NOT apologize!!!! I would’ve giggled my damn self, like dude, who cares what word he used as long as it wasn’t “NO”.
To Joe, from OP: You a silly, petty mf thats why I’m laughing at your ass.
NTA
Joe sounds like a nightmare to work with nitpicking over the difference between “sure” and “yes” and his whole attitude about being the manager and giving commands.
If he doesn’t cut it out, his staff is going to hate working for him.
NTA – Joe is a big ole butthole with a major superiority complex.
NTA. Sounds like Joe is on an ego trip
Coming from someone that has a huge pet peeve with the word “sure,” you are definitely NTA.
Also, setting aside that Joe is a huge asshole, he’s also a shitty manager. The workplace is not the military. For one, employees are always at will, and the more valuable the employee, the more likely they are to quit over treatment like that. But even for employees who tolerate it, employees should NOT simply “follow orders.” If an employee does not have the bandwidth or ability, they need to feel comfortable saying that. The manager is not involved in the daily work and needs the feedback to do his job.
NTA I’d respond with sure everytime he said something to me