I (26F) planned to go to the Japanese Festival with my boyfriend (31M) yesterday after work.
For context, I was working yesterday until 3pm, and he was off. We initially planned to go straight from work but since it was hot and sunny outside, we pushed it back to later that afternoon. I came home to him sleeping (this was around 3:30ish), so I decided to just get ready for the festival. Around 4:30, I started waking him up telling him we’re leaving soon. He just turned his back and continued sleeping. By close to 5pm, I tried waking him up again, and again closer to 5:30. By the time it was close to 6pm, I decided to just leave him and go by myself.
Few minutes after I left, he texted me asking where am I, so I told him that I’m already at the fest. He then proceeded to get upset at me for going alone and told me that he was sleeping so he can go with me in the afternoon, and didn’t wanna be under the sun on a weekend as well. (I understand that he was working all week and needed some rest, but he was already home all day, idk if that’s not enough rest for him). Told him I already tried waking him up multiple times, so I just decided to go alone since I didn’t wanna miss the show (I was also supposed to meet up with some friends, which he is aware of but I missed them because I got there late).
We had a little argument over it, but I told him he can come along if he wants (he never responded, he actually haven’t messaged me since then)
So, AITA for leaving him at home ?
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I (26F) planned to go to the Japanese Festival with my boyfriend (31M) yesterday after work.
For context, I was working yesterday until 3pm, and he was off. We initially planned to go straight from work but since it was hot and sunny outside, we pushed it back to later that afternoon. I came home to him sleeping (this was around 3:30ish), so I decided to just get ready for the festival. Around 4:30, I started waking him up telling him we’re leaving soon. He just turned his back and continued sleeping. By close to 5pm, I tried waking him up again, and again closer to 5:30. By the time it was close to 6pm, I decided to just leave him and go by myself.
Few minutes after I left, he texted me asking where am I, so I told him that I’m already at the fest. He then proceeded to get upset at me for going alone and told me that he was sleeping so he can go with me in the afternoon, and didn’t wanna be under the sun on a weekend as well. (I understand that he was working all week and needed some rest, but he was already home all day, idk if that’s not enough rest for him). Told him I already tried waking him up multiple times, so I just decided to go alone since I didn’t wanna miss the show (I was also supposed to meet up with some friends, which he is aware of but I missed them because I got there late).
We had a little argument over it, but I told him he can come along if he wants (he never responded, he actually haven’t messaged me since then)
So, AITA for leaving him at home ?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I left my bf at home alone to go to the festival alone because he didn’t want to wake up and I didn’t want to miss the show at the festival
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO – your plan was to go after work but decided to go ‘later’ so it wouldn’t be so sunny. So 3:30 is right after work. Could it be your ‘later in the afternoon’ just meant an hour later to you but maybe 3 hours later to your bf? Just trying to get clarity here.
However, once you tried waking him up, he should at least respond and you can agree on a time. If he kept rolling over and ignoring you, you have every right to just leave.
These are crucial points in relationships where you teach each other stuff through actions. He just found out your tolerance level for his BS. You won’t be ignored and miss something, so you go alone. Next time (if there is a next time), you’ll maybe agree to be more accurate with time, and you won’t deal with this ‘roll over and ignore you’ crap.
I’m saying NTA for this one.
NTA, you tried to wake him up over the course of several hours. If you guys didn’t set a specific time, then I can see where there could be a misunderstanding of what “afternoon” meant to each of you.
NTA at all. You left at 6. Like, how late did the festival even go? People who get upset at you when they are being an AH are people you should break up with. Nope nope nope
NTA, what a child
INFO: Did you discuss/clarify what “later that afternoon” meant? Are you certain he really wanted to go? Does he often sleep through an entire day off?
NTA. He’s 31: he can choose to get out of bed or not, but he should at least speak to you about it and then take responsibility for his decision.
INFO: what time did you agree to end up going, or was it just a vague ‘later in the afternoon’? He should’ve gotten up to get ready, but imo 6pm isn’t that late, if he could’ve gotten up and been ready pretty quickly then it’s fine.
What time did it finish?
Did you really want him to go with you? Is this something he’s done before?
lol he didn’t want to go
NTA
So he couldn’t be woken up after multiple attempts during all that time but just so happened to wake up a few minutes after you left? Interesting…