My mother was diagnosed with religious delusions when I was 18, so I decided to stay with her as much as possible to keep an eye on her. However, she has always been very dependent on her sisters (my aunts), even giving them more importance than my brother and me.
Before I decided to move in with my dad (they’re separated), she had kicked me out of the house three times. I let it go the first two times because it was during relapses, but the third time wasn’t like that. She literally kicked me out of the house at 10 p.m.
After that, I let her know that if she kicked me out a fourth time, I wouldn’t be coming back. That happened a few days ago. I study medicine, so I spend a lot of time at the hospital. I was putting away my scrubs when she called me, but I was too far away to hear her.
She got really angry with me. She told me I was disrespectful, that I didn’t love her, that I had abandoned her. She told me to go with my dad, that it wasn’t a hotel, and that she didn’t want to see me there anymore.
That made me really angry, because I literally checked on her every time I went home, helped her at work, organized all her important events so she wouldn’t have to worry, and even used all my savings to pay for her health. I was always there for her, and even called her every day when I had to stay in the hospital. I took her wherever she wanted and even neglected my studies and health for her.
Even so, she always thinks my aunts are the only ones who help her, leaving everything I do for her in the background. So that day I grabbed all my clothes and left. The next day she acted like nothing was wrong, called me, demanded I help her organize an event, and even expected me to come home (since I’ll be in the hospital until the weekend).
I don’t think I’ll go back. I tried to see if things were different, but since that day I’ve noticed that she only wants the benefits without treating me with any respect. She refuses to answer my calls, and if she does, she hangs up on me after saying what she wants. I don’t think staying in that house is right for me, and it’s not like I’m leaving her alone; she’ll be with my aunts and my brother. I just don’t think I’ll keep helping. Am I the asshole for leaving?
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My mother was diagnosed with religious delusions when she was 18, so I decided to stay with her as much as possible to keep an eye on her. However, she has always been very dependent on her sisters (my aunts), even giving them more importance than my brother and me.
Before I decided to move in with my dad (they’re separated), she had kicked me out of the house three times. I let it go the first two times because it was during relapses, but the third time wasn’t like that. She literally kicked me out of the house at 10 p.m.
After that, I let her know that if she kicked me out a fourth time, I wouldn’t be coming back. That happened a few days ago. I study medicine, so I spend a lot of time at the hospital. I was putting away my scrubs when she called me, but I was too far away to hear her.
She got really angry with me. She told me I was disrespectful, that I didn’t love her, that I had abandoned her. She told me to go with my dad, that it wasn’t a hotel, and that she didn’t want to see me there anymore.
That made me really angry, because I literally checked on her every time I went home, helped her at work, organized all her important events so she wouldn’t have to worry, and even used all my savings to pay for her health. I was always there for her, and even called her every day when I had to stay in the hospital. I took her wherever she wanted and even neglected my studies and health for her.
Even so, she always thinks my aunts are the only ones who help her, leaving everything I do for her in the background. So that day I grabbed all my clothes and left. The next day she acted like nothing was wrong, called me, demanded I help her organize an event, and even expected me to come home (since I’ll be in the hospital until the weekend).
I don’t think I’ll go back. I tried to see if things were different, but since that day I’ve noticed that he only wants the benefits without treating me with any respect. He refuses to answer my calls, and if he does, he hangs up on me after saying what he wants. I don’t think staying in that house is right for me, and it’s not like I’m leaving her alone; she’ll be with my aunts and my brother. I just don’t think I’ll keep helping. Am I the asshole for leaving?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) Leave my mom’s house and decide to live with my dad (2) Leaving my mom even if she has mental issues
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Obviously you are NTA
NTA, OP try to start thinking about yourself from now on, don’t burn yourself out just to keep other people warm, maybe take some time and distance go LC for your own mental health, and then decide if that relationship is actually healthy for you.
NTA
NTA
My mother did this Exact thing to me, she’s lucky you still take her calls.
To say your mom has issues doesn’t begin to cover it. She is most likely never going to acknowledge your importance in helping her. She expects you to do her bidding and take whatever she dishes out. Stop. Tell her you are done. Then stop engaging. You could talk till the cows come home and it won’t change a thing. NTA.
NTA Sounds like your mom has some mental health issues and it also sounds like her personality is solidified so she’s going to continue to be difficult and she’s not going to change. Getting out and saving yourself would be the best thing to do for you. You must think about what’s best for your own life and future because it’s clear no one else there will. You sound like you have a great future ahead of you, and it’ll be even better the sooner you get out of that house.
Actually I can’t believe you stayed after the second time she threw you out, I would have walked out and never looked back.