I’m gay and a lot of my social life consists of going to gay bars – not because I’m a drinker or partier, but that’s just where it’s easy to meet other gay people. Recently when I go to the bars I can’t wait to leave. It’s the same people and it feels meaningless. My friends get upset because I’m always the first to leave while they stay out. I’m not antisocial, but I feel like it’s not my scene. The hard part is that it’s hard to meet other gay people in general so I feel like if I don’t go to the bars at all I’ll end up with no friends.
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I’m gay and a lot of my social life consists of going to gay bars – not because I’m a drinker or partier, but that’s just where it’s easy to meet other gay people. Recently when I go to the bars I can’t wait to leave. It’s the same people and it feels meaningless. My friends get upset because I’m always the first to leave while they stay out. I’m not antisocial, but I feel like it’s not my scene. The hard part is that it’s hard to meet other gay people in general so I feel like if I don’t go to the bars at all I’ll end up with no friends.
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> I’m gay and a lot of my social life consists of going to gay bars – not because I’m a drinker or partier, but that’s just where it’s easy to meet other gay people. Recently when I go to the bars I can’t wait to leave. It’s the same people and it feels meaningless. My friends get upset because I’m always the first to leave while they stay out. I’m not antisocial, but I feel like it’s not my scene. The hard part is that it’s hard to meet other gay people in general so I feel like if I don’t go to the bars at all I’ll end up with no friends.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Your friends might be upset but it’s not their choice, it’s your choice.
NTA at all. Not all gay people like the culture of gay bars/bars generally. Not liking a particular scene doesn’t make you antisocial (not that that’s a crime anyway!)
If you are looking to meet people many other types of organisations and venues run nights and events especially targeted at the LGBTQ+ community, everything from games cafes to climbing walls.
Why would this make you the asshole? Constantly spending time at bars is exhausting, especially if you don’t drink and party.
There are other places to meet people that share the same interests as you.
I stopped going to bars and started hosting game nights, now my friends actually talk to each other instead of yelling over music. Sometimes you gotta create the scene you want. NTA.
I feel like there isn’t really a conflict here.
You don’t like gay bars, ok, don’t go
NTA. If bars are not your scene, then you need to find other ways of meeting people – like social and/or sports organizations. Good luck.
I’m the same way. Except it’s because I hit a wall at midnight. My friends will stay out until 2-3am and peer pressure me to stay longer or buy more drinks. I feel bad but being at a bar for hours just doesn’t do it for me anymore like it used to in college. It could be because they are looking for men to talk to at the bar and I have a boyfriend? I just don’t know how they do it😅
NTA.
NTA you become free when you don’t care what others think, say about you. What they think about you isn’t your business. What you think about yourself is your business.
NTA. Add some other people meeting activities like a book club or volunteering.
NTA but as someone who has hung around the gay scene for years I definitely understand, my friends were divided into 2 categories, the bar group and the group that joined as many rec league sports teams as possible, not sure there are any by you or not.