I work at a daycare for preschool-aged kids. One of the little boys really likes frogs— frog t-shirts, stuffies, you name it. During rest the other day, my coworker left to run an errand because we had low numbers and would still be in ratio. When she returned, she was grinning ear to ear and holding a child’s clear plastic tea pot that contained a pretty large frog. She stated that she had caught the frog to show the boy when he wakes up from his nap. She was so excited for him to see the frog, and even took photos of the teapot next to the sleeping kiddo to send to his mom. The thing is, it’s pretty hot and swampy where we live currently, and that day was very humid with high temperatures. The air conditioning inside also doesn’t work super well. Not to mention, the kid was definitely not going to wake up for at least another hour and a half. The teapot had no air holes except for a hole in the spout, which I’m not even sure was giving the frog any air anyway because of the way the spout was twisted. I could see the tea pot was already all fogged up, and the poor frog was launching itself at the side of the teapot and seemed extremely stressed. Moreover, and maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t think we should be teaching the kids to treat animals that way. As soon as my coworker left for the day a few minutes later, I took the teapot outside and released the frog. (There was still someone with the kids.) My coworker found out what I did because when the kid’s mom picked him up that day and asked about it, he said he didn’t get to see the frog in real life, and I guess the mom mentioned something to my coworker. Now my coworker is saying I was being dramatic and that I disappointed the kid, and that I should’ve waited until he woke up to release the frog. AITA?
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I work at a daycare for preschool-aged kids. One of the little boys really likes frogs— frog t-shirts, stuffies, you name it. During rest the other day, my coworker left to run an errand because we had low numbers and would still be in ratio. When she returned, she was grinning ear to ear and holding a child’s clear plastic tea pot that contained a pretty large frog. She stated that she had caught the frog to show the boy when he wakes up from his nap. She was so excited for him to see the frog, and even took photos of the teapot next to the sleeping kiddo to send to his mom. The thing is, it’s pretty hot and swampy where we live currently, and that day was very humid with high temperatures. The air conditioning inside also doesn’t work super well. Not to mention, the kid was definitely not going to wake up for at least another hour and a half. The teapot had no air holes except for a hole in the spout, which I’m not even sure was giving the frog any air anyway because of the way the spout was twisted. I could see the tea pot was already all fogged up, and the poor frog was launching itself at the side of the teapot and seemed extremely stressed. Moreover, and maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t think we should be teaching the kids to treat animals that way. As soon as my coworker left for the day a few minutes later, I took the teapot outside and released the frog. (There was still someone with the kids.) My coworker found out what I did because when the kid’s mom picked him up that day and asked about it, he said he didn’t get to see the frog in real life, and I guess the mom mentioned something to my coworker. Now my coworker is saying I was being dramatic and that I disappointed the kid, and that I should’ve waited until he woke up to release the frog. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I might be the asshole because the kid was disappointed he didn’t get to see the frog in real life, and my coworker had gone out of her way to catch the frog just to show it to him.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
NTA
Maybe you should have told your co-worker your concerns immediately instead of just acting on your concerns after she left, but at worst that’s just a bit of a miscommunication. That doesn’t make you an AH imo.
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NTA. Better the child misses seeing a frog to him seeing a dead frog.
NTA. If the kid like squirrels would she have hunted one down for him? What about coyotes? Bears? Wolves? I agree with you, kids need to learn that nature isn’t there for our entertainment, and treating animals that way isn’t okay. Besides, what if the frog was carrying a microbe the kid reacted to, or vice versa? Your coworker was wrong, you can tell her the internet said so.
NTA – You wanna teach kids young that wild animals are a “look but don’t touch” kind of thing. That kid learns frogs can be caught and he’ll be going after them to try and catch them.
This is tricky. I do see where you were coming from, and it’s fair that the frog probably wouldn’t have made it, but you might have been able to handle it better. You could have talked to your coworker and at least given her a heads up that you didn’t think the frog would make it, and see if she had a better idea or might have released it herself.
NTA for preventing the child from seeing a dead frog, but in the future, consider trying to communicate your concerns first.
Easily NTA.
Hell no, let that frog go. I agree, we don’t teach kids that it’s okay to do this kind of stuff.
NTA, and good for you.
NTA- that’s animal abuse and you’re right, I wouldn’t want kids thinking that’s ok. We can appreciate frogs without capturing them and abusing them.
NTA; I bet my bottom dollar there will be more frogs to catch or simply observe in their habitat, maybe with some diy efforts (just a deep clear storage bin, NO LID, w/water, walmart has ’em), it could be a class occasion and very educational to see frogs up close and somewhere they can actually breathe
NTA. Animal welfare is more important and I totally agree we shouldn’t be teaching kids to trap animals.
NTA
We have a wildlife pond in our garden. Today I was outside sitting on our back door step watching the birds on the feeders when something hit my foot. It was a frog! I have no idea exactly where he went after that, possibly under the stack of assorted empty plant pots, nearby. I was hoping to find him and release him INTO the pond as our garden is steeply terraced and the pond is on the second level. He would have to negotiate some stairs to get to the pond.
You did good.
NTA this is a good lesson in looking at things without disturbing them.
NTA, you were in the right.
NTA
I would tell the kid that the magical tea pot frog came and visited him while he was sleeping because it was so impressed with how much the child knew about frogs. But that frogs live outside, even magical teapot ones, and it needed to get back to the lily pad. Because frogs like to be looked at but not played with or touched. And if the kiddo sees a frog outside to wave and remember the magical teapot frog.
NTA. Is your coworker also a child? Why does an adult think keeping a frog in a tiny plastic container for hours is a good idea?
NTA, it would be animal cruelty to let that poor frog stay in that pot. Not that the kid meant any harm, but you definitely saved her from the trauma of finding the frog dead. Your coworker sucks though. A lot of people see frogs as undesirable animals, along with other amphibians, reptiles, and bugs, so they don’t care if those animals suffer. In fact, they don’t even see them as animals the way they would see a dog as an animal. I don’t think any animal deserves to suffer, no matter how scary, ugly, or slimy I think it is.
I think you should explain to your coworker that the frog was going to die, and maybe find a kid-friendly way to explain that frogs belong in the wild. You can turn it into a fun teaching day about their life cycle and natural habitats!
Look up and arrange for a local herp collector to bring some specimens in for a little educational presentation. They will have all the right info for keeping frogs and maybe you can get an easy classroom keeper. Encourage science, but done right.
NTA, but was there nothing else you could have put the frog into?
NTA.
Critters deserve respect!
NTA
NTA plain and simple as you said you shouldn’t be teaching kids to treat animals like that. It’s cruel I don’t care about the co workers or the parent and kid’s feelings on matters concerning animal safety you did the right thing by releasing it. If they have a problem with you not wanting a small animal to more than likely die from stress and over heating they need to reassess themselves and their priorities
Could’ve kept the frog in a proper CONTAINER. ESH because you did disappoint a child and taught them zero lesson about this.
NTA. I hope the teapot got thrown away.
NTA torturing animals will always make that person the AH
NTA so if the frog died in the pot she would have traumatized that child for life
NTA animals are not toys and shouldn’t be put in distress for the joy of kids. I would have done the same.
NTA. Cruelty and/or stressing out an animal for entertainment is never ok. You did the right thing.
INFO: Could you have relocated the frog into a larger container? Like a large bowl or tub?
Seems like your coworker was really excited to share something special with this kid and you unilaterally preempted it without trying to think of a compromise solution. I get wanting to care for the welfare of the frog but it probably would have been fine in a larger container with a little water and the kids would have gotten a huge kick out of it.
Your coworker sounds immature and probably gets on your nerves and it may have impacted your willingness to support her in this. Leaning towards E-S-H because I think you could have handled this better.
I have a traumatic memory from when I was around 10 of me capturing a bull frog in one of those mini plastic terrariums. I left it for a couple hours on my porch. Not even in the sun with a centimeter of water in it. I came back and the frog was dead. I’m still a little embarrassed and ashamed I killed that frog. It didn’t deserve it.
Thank you for saving the frog. And perhaps preventing a similar experience with that child.
NTA….that frog might not have made it another hour….then the frog loving child would be scarred for life.
Your co-worker needs to put more thought into how to treat wild creatures. I understand the co-worker had good intentions. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The frog beating its head against the teapot trying to escape is proof of that.
Your group/company/whatever you call it can do a short walking field trip and go see the frogs [and other swamp critters] in their natural habitat. That would be a healthier way to see them rather than fondling critters with heaven-knows-what sort of germs crawling about. Plus, it’s more educational and impactful to see the wild things in a more natural habitat.
Even a trip to your local zoo would be better than bringing in a frog in a teapot that’s beating its scared brains against it. There -might- be opportunities to touch the wild things in the zoo. There are also opportunities to go wash hands [and faces if they kiss it] at a zoo.
FYI – I’m a retired Special Education teacher. I did walking field trips regularly with 8th grade [ages 13 – 15]; they were the best! Discussions and learning definitely happened. There’s no reason the children you work with wouldn’t benefit equally.
On the topic of the disappointed child – life is full of disappointments. How adults around the child talk about disappointments guides how a child learns how to deal with them. If co-worker was a dramatic fool, then the child was even more disappointed. If co-worker was just being snarky about you with adults, the child would have responded accordingly. Life sucks swamp water sometimes. Children need to learn this in a safe place.
The mild a-hole here is the co-worker for being thoughtless over improperly handling the frog [a wild critter] and later getting the child wound up over missing the frog cuz you returned it to where the wild critter belongs – outside.