My roommate (M19) and I (M18) became college roommates about a month ago. We largely bought our own items/decor cause it was more convenient like that. The one item we did split the cost on was a minifridge/microwave, with each of us paying around $120.
I offered to pay for the fridge initially and then my roommate would pay me back for his half once he got his paycheck. However, my parents ended up offering to pay for my half of it, and being a broke college student, I agreed. I had paid for a lot of my own stuff for college already, so letting my parents pay for half of a fridge didn’t feel unreasonable.
However, my roommate found out about this the other day and said that he felt it was unfair that he had to pay for his own half himself but I got my parents to pay for my half. I didn’t think of it that way before, because the way I saw it, we were splitting it 50/50 no matter who paid for it on my end, so it doesn’t actually affect my roommate whether I paid for my half or my parents did.
That being said, I can also absolutely see why he might be frustrated since he spent his paycheck on his half, but also I don’t know that it’s necessarily my fault? I don’t think anyone is really to blame in this situation? But then again, all of this just happened and I’m still processing. I care about my roommate a lot and don’t want to ruin our relationship, especially this early in the year and especially over something as stupid as a fridge. So, AITA? And if so, what can I do to fix this?
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My roommate (M19) and I (M18) became college roommates about a month ago. We largely bought our own items/decor cause it was more convenient like that. The one item we did split the cost on was a minifridge/microwave, with each of us paying around $120.
I offered to pay for the fridge initially and then my roommate would pay me back for his half once he got his paycheck. However, my parents ended up offering to pay for my half of it, and being a broke college student, I agreed. I had paid for a lot of my own stuff for college already, so letting my parents pay for half of a fridge didn’t feel unreasonable.
However, my roommate found out about this the other day and said that he felt it was unfair that he had to pay for his own half himself but I got my parents to pay for my half. I didn’t think of it that way before, because the way I saw it, we were splitting it 50/50 no matter who paid for it on my end, so it doesn’t actually affect my roommate whether I paid for my half or my parents did.
That being said, I can also absolutely see why he might be frustrated since he spent his paycheck on his half, but also I don’t know that it’s necessarily my fault? I don’t think anyone is really to blame in this situation? But then again, all of this just happened and I’m still processing. I care about my roommate a lot and don’t want to ruin our relationship, especially this early in the year and especially over something as stupid as a fridge. So, AITA? And if so, what can I do to fix this?
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> Action that should be judged: letting my parents pay for my half of the fridge rather than paying for it myself when my roommate was paying for his half himswlff
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Where the money comes from is not an issue, I would do the same for my kids. If you want offer to buy snacks or dinner or something to smooth it over and they should forget.
NTA I don’t see the issue. You each paid for half of the mini fridge. The end.
NTA. Where you got the money is not his business. If he’s unhappy, he should take it up with his parents (just kidding).
NTA. Is your roommates real issue that he thinks since your parents paid for half, they should have paid for the whole thing? This is really a strange argument on his part.
NTA you are each using it. You each pay half. Where you get your half is irrelevant, and it’s not at all unusual for parents to pay for stuff for college students.
NTA
Its a non issue. At your age, in school, I would think of you still being quite attached to the family wallet.
You and your family are an entity, he and his another. How each side chose to pay for their part of the fridge is their own choice, with nothing to do with the other.
He is just jealous your parents helped you out and his didnt.
But for me, its just like how my parents paid for my college and some other kids parents didnt. Did I owe them anything just because my parents were helping me? Nope.
Life isnt fair. Some people have families that help them more than others. Whether that’s because they have more resources or because they just want to, it matters not. It just IS.
He is upset you aren’t feeling the same financial crunch. But he needs to grow up and out of his childlike entitled attitude. He is now out in the big world. You are just roommates, NOT siblings.
You have different situations, different families, different family values and traditions. Not everything will EVER be equal between you and he needs to get over that idea because he will run into unequal things all the rest of his life. The days of expecting someone to equal him out with the kid next to him should have ended with elementary school.
NAH, but also who’s keeping the mini fridge after the year is over?
NTA. Your roommate is weird! Who the heck cares where the money for your half came from. I suggest that you keep all financial stuff to yourself in the future
It is unfair in the grand scheme of life! Having parents pay for your stuff is called ✨ privilege ✨ and it’s a privilege that we should all be so lucky to have. It’s harsh when you see someone get a cushion you don’t get. It sucks for him but he’s gonna see it a lot. The trick is if you both let the difference in your economic circumstances affect your relationship. Be conscious of this moving forward – he has less money than you, and it’s a sore spot. No you’re not obligated to care.. but giving a crap about your roommate’s emotions will increase your likelihood of having a good time.
Your roomate is a cheap ass loser and trying to find a way to whine out of what he owes. Remember this forever.
Ask your parents if they’ll cover him for his half. Or let him ask them.
NTA don’t share your personal financial information. It’s none of his business if you or your parents paid for it.
Pay him back a 1/4, so half of what he paid for it. so then your parents paid half and the 2 of you together paid the other half
NTA, would it matter to him if you got the money via stripping? Probably not. So why does it matter if your parents paid for your half.
That being said it is kind of stupid to split the cost of an item like this a college roommate, especially freshman (I’m assuming freshman based on ages) college roommate. There is little guarantee that you will want to be roommates after this year so you are going to have to decide who gets what at the end of the year.
NTA
But in the interest of a good relationship, offer to buy the first two pizzas.
Non issue, sounds like he mad his parents suck.
NTA
The 2 of you split the cost of the fridge. Regardless of who paid for who’s half. You’re in college. Time to learn maturity and him to not take things personally.
Nta. The fact your parents gifted you the money for your half of the fridge is irrelevant. Your roommate still needs to pay half if it’s going to be a joint item.
NTA. It doesn’t matter where you got the money from, you paid half. He’s welcome to ask his parents to pay his half.
NTA. Just being a young dumb kid.
NTA! Your roommate needs to mind his own business and pay for his share or he is free to ask his parents. It is not your fault or responsibility if his parents dont want to help.
Your roommate is just salty because his parents didn’t pay his half.
Watch out for that roommate. I would be careful about sharing stuff with a roommate who was so petty.
I had a pretty chill roommate, randomly assigned because I didn’t know anyone who was going to that college or couldn’t think of anyone to room with. He was at the frat house as a pledge all the time, then up and left and another guy moved in without me having any say, the neighbor’s best friend. He was hard to get along with, so I bailed at the end of a semester or spring or something like that and moved in with a friend in a dorm with no A/C and older facilities just to have peace in my home. That was just one academic year.
Anyway, my point is you are sharing stuff, but this is temporary.
I suggest while the numbers and information are fresh, you sit down and write out how spent how much on what. Then each of you agree on who gets what as private property. Since your parents paid for the fridge, you could ‘reimburse’ him with your portion of K-pop posters and pictures of dogs playing poker (for example)… since your parents paid for part of the fridge, and they don’t want the picture of dogs playing poker.
Ask how he got his car. If his parents paid for it, you could tell him that it’s not fair. His parents didn’t help you pay for your car. Better yet, if you paid for your own car, you could say it is not fair that his parents paid for his car, but yours didn’t help him pay for your car, so ask him if he’d give you half of his car.
NTA, but never talk about where your money comes from again.
NTA. Doesn’t matter which pocket you pull the money from, when you go 50/50 you take responsibility for half the cost. Where you source that money is your business alone.
Doubt there’s much you can do to fix it – if you offer to pay more, you’ll undermine yourself and he’ll likely assume you’ll take on more of the cost than him in the future. Don’t tell him anything more about your finances, and make sure to continue splitting 50/50 if you have to share any expense.
And remember you are not the AH here.
NTA roomate has a lot of growing up to do about how the world doesn’t owe you shit like that. He is going to have a lot of money boundary issues with roommates and friends. Its none of his business if your folks help you.
NTA. Your family, your money. They didn’t offer to pay for your roommate, they offered to pay for you, their son.
NTA. You both agreed to pay for half. Whether you or your parents paid half, it was still half.
Bizarre non-issue. It doesn’t matter where your half came from. Now you know that he is sensitive about money so adjust the information you tell him and the things you do together accordingly.
You paid. Where your money came from doesn’t really matter. Roomie needs to grow up.
Before anything else is said…were you going to give your parents the money or were you going to pocket his money? If you pocketed the money you’re the a. If you gave the money to your parents then you’re not. But the bigger question is since you paid half and he paid half…who gets the fridge? This was a stupid decision bc you both own it now so who gets it?!?!
There’s no requirement that you personally pay for your half of anything just that he only pays for half. And as others have said, parents often pay for their kids’college expenses. This is the most convoluted attempt to weasel out of responsibility/finagle more out of you that I’ve heard in a long time. Your roommate paid for half the fridge and he gets to use half the fridge. I suppose he thinks it’s unfair if your parents pay for any of the food that goes in there as well… What a weirdo cheapskate. NTA
NTA, you paid for your half of the fridge. It just happened to be with money your parents gave you. If he wants to complain, he can do so to his family asking why they aren’t helping him out the way yours is.
He just wants to weasel out of paying his half because your parents bought the fridge. It doesn’t matter where you got the money. That’s between you and your parents. NTA
There is a question of what happens with the fridge at the end of the year. One of you would have to buy the other one out, or you sell it and split the money. If roommate doesn’t pay for his half, it’s your fridge. You keep it at the end of the year. If your parents are cool with it, I would go with that option. Realize that your roommate is not someone you can trust. Don’t loan him money and expect to be repaid. If you’re buying groceries or meals together, he pays for his half in real time.
NTA- if his parents gave him the money, he would be using it and still expecting you to pay him back. He is unhappy that he is having to work for his half and you should be a bit sensitive to that but you are in no way responsible for his circumstances or his response to yours.
NTA tell him to take it up with his parents.
NTA. From another angle: your parents gave you $120; you applied that money toward your part of the fridge expense. So you paid your half.
Lie. “Just so you know, I paid my parents back for my half. I hope you feel better now.” He’s hoping you offer to pay an extra $60. He doesn’t give a turd if you paid your parents back.
NTA