I (24f) just moved into the graduate residence building at my university. It’s a 4 bedroom “apartment” where we share a bathroom and kitchen but have our own rooms. Technically I can use the kitchen to cook but I bought the meal plan on campus since my schedule is pretty hectic. I keep all of my personal items locked in my room – cosmetics, personal cleaning supplies, laundry pods, snacks etc… one of my roommates was asking me to split the cost of all the kitchen utensils and cleaning duties. I told her everybody can clean up after themselves and that I bought the meal plan so I won’t be using the kitchen at all. I’m fine with cleaning the bathroom/floors and even brought my Dyson vacuum that we can all temporarily share. She’s also questioning me as to why I keep the cleaning supplies locked in my room. I told her it was because I payed for them (I buy all natural ones because I’m sensitive) and they are to clean my room specifically and that if they want to split communal cleaning supplies we could go to the store together and split the cost of floor cleaner, windex, Lysol wipes). I made it clear when I moved in I wasn’t up for sharing everything and that I like my privacy/personal space and everybody agreed. Yesterday she asked why I didn’t keep the hair dryer and curling iron in the bathroom. I told her because it’s a $600 set and I don’t want other people using my hair tools (obviously friends and my sisters can use it but not strangers lol?). She got upset at me and told me if I was living with other people to be considerate of them. I snapped back and told her to pay for her own personal items and that I’m not her personal shopper. AITA?
AITA for locking everything in my room?
r/AITAH
Comments
I get why your roommate is annoyed though — living together often comes with expectations of sharing certain basics. Maybe a compromise would be to chip in for just communal cleaning products (like windex, dish soap, sponges) while keeping your personal/natural ones locked away. That way they feel like you’re contributing to shared spaces, but you still protect your personal items.
Why is your roommate expecting you to keep your dryer and curling iron in the bathroom for her to use?
I get the sharing and all that, but to expect other to bring stuff so she can use it seems unrealistic
NTA
She is far too interested in your stuff. Now I would lock it even more.
I hope you haven’t “payed” for that education yet.
When in grade school > we learn about Lice = You don’t share hair tools / hats etc
Don’t share makeup because > nasty – pink eye (and makeup for Sensitive skin > $$)
Your Property is Your property > if you have allergies – need certain types for Your room > that is not community cleaning
Help buy the community cleaning stuff even if you are not going to use common / kitchen area > you will be using it more than you think
Make sure that your lock can’t be unlocked >>> Get a camera for Inside your room in case she sneaks in / Evidence … she sounds like she’d be up to ‘borrowing’ everything you own , if she gets access and you probably won’t get possessions back
NTA
NTA. I guarantee that the expectation of sharing and splitting costs would go right out the window if they used/broke your items, they’d likely not pay to replace them. Just because you live together doesn’t make you besties that need to share everything.
Obviously NTA
You were generous to offer to clean the bathroom and floors for everyone. Seems like she wants to use/steal your things so I’d get a lock for your door if possible
NTA – your roommate is weird for having these expectations.
NTAH – my daughter just went to university as a freshman last year. It was a 4 person dorm and similar circumstance. She was super excited and bought many things for the kitchen and shared space to help make it cozy and it quickly got taken advantage of and ruined. I ended up buying her a mini fridge and a camera because many other things went missing. It’s unfortunate but not everyone is raised to respect other people’s property and you are correct in protecting what is yours.
NTA. Stand your ground. You owe this stranger nothing but common courtesy as a roommate.
I wouldn’t justify anything to her at this point. I’d be more like, it’s none of your business what I do with my stuff. NTA
NTA. Sharing just opens the door for people that will take and not give back.
Nta. I can understand splitting the cost of kitchen utensils, I mean, are you never going to use the kitchen? And also cleaning supplies, after all, you all live there and yes, can all clean up after yourselves, but who would hoover, mop, clean windows, dust? Probably suggest a rota.
However, everything else you are completely in the right, I would definitely lock all my stuff in my room and keep my stuff… my stuff. As your roommate just basically admitted, they would’ve used your stuff without asking, and if something of yours went missing? You would be pissed.
Also, being considerate when living with other people means to keep it down when someone goes to bed, cleaning up after yourselves, checking if someone else needs the bathroom before bathing. Not just picking someone else’s stuff and using it, that’s just some being a douche
NTA. You made your boundaries and feelings clear the first day you moved in. Why is she asking a random person, even if it’s a roommate, to borrow their hair tools? She knew about your boundaries, she just probably knows yours are good-quality and doesn’t wanna foot the bill for her own.
NTA. You are doing the right thing. Your personal things are yours. She needs to get her own.
This roommate sounds extremely entitled. You don’t have to share anything. Seems as though she expects you to provide but not have to share in the expense.
NTA – they expected to use your items. They didn’t expect to by their own hair tools, shampoo, kitchen equipment.
I would be very blunt. “I was up front about that at the beginning. I had things destroyed by sharing. I’m not going through that again. I don’t want to get ready to take a shower and not have shampoo, or my hair tools gone or broke.” I would make it clear, you learned that the hard way. Sounds like she is reinforcing that you were right.
NTA…..Especially since you said it when you moved in. It’s odd that she got upset that you won’t share your curling iron…does she not have her own hair dryer or curling iron – what did she do before this semester?
Fuck her. She just trying to steal your shit.
You’re doing the right thing.
Don’t give in, she’ll break and steal your stuff and never pay for them.