I (F22) am friends with a small group of people, including my best friend’s sister and her boyfriend, Jamie (M25). We’ve all been friends since before they started dating. Whenever we go out to festivals, I am the designated driver since I don’t drink.
Jamie is extremely hyperactive, especially when he’s in the car with me. He will constantly reach over and turn on my indicator, unlock my car because it “makes a funny sound”, playfully wiggle the steering wheel, turn on loud music, etc.
I have a lot of driving anxiety, since I’ve had a few close calls over the last few years. I’ve told him multiple times to stop messing around in my car, and he’d laugh and say, “Just one more time. Last time.”
The other night, while we were driving back, he was once again unlocking my car. He would unlock, relock, unlock, relock. It made me so uneasy. We were about half a kilometre away from home, he wasn’t drunk (slightly tipsy), and we live in a safe and gated area.
So I pulled over and told him to walk home. It’s down the street.
My best friend supported my decision, since she knows how often he pisses me off and makes me uncomfortable. But his girlfriend says I overreacted, he was just having fun, and making him walk was cruel.
But I don’t want to drive with someone who puts my life and safety at risk. AITA?
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I (F22) am friends with a small group of people, including my best friend’s sister and her boyfriend, Jamie (M25). We’ve all been friends since before they started dating. Whenever we go out to festivals, I am the designated driver since I don’t drink.
Jamie is extremely hyperactive, especially when he’s in the car with me. He will constantly reach over and turn on my indicator, unlock my car because it “makes a funny sound”, playfully wiggle the steering wheel, turn on loud music, etc.
I have a lot of driving anxiety, since I’ve had a few close calls over the last few years. I’ve told him multiple times to stop messing around in my car, and he’d laugh and say, “Just one more time. Last time.”
The other night, while we were driving back, he was once again unlocking my car. He would unlock, relock, unlock, relock. It made me so uneasy. We were about half a kilometre away from home, he wasn’t drunk (slightly tipsy), and we live in a safe and gated area.
So I pulled over and told him to walk home. It’s down the street.
My best friend supported my decision, since she knows how often he pisses me off and makes me uncomfortable. But his girlfriend says I overreacted, he was just having fun, and making him walk was cruel.
But I don’t want to drive with someone who puts my life and safety at risk. AITA?
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> I made my friend walk home, but it could’ve been an overreaction. He wasn’t listening to me telling him to stop.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
You probably shouldn’t have allowed him in the car in the first place – certainly not in the front passenger seat. He’s dangerous.
NTA. Half a kilometer isn’t that bad. Maybe he’ll have a little more self-control next time. Not to mention the safety aspect.
If you truly believe this
>> But I don’t want to drive with someone who puts my life and safety at risk. AITA?
Then he can get out of the car and either call a uber or another friend.
To me it sounds like this is not the first time and if setting boundaries is not working than walking is the next solution. NTA
>> Jamie is extremely hyperactive, especially when he’s in the car with me. He will constantly reach over and turn on my indicator, unlock my car because it “makes a funny sound”, playfully wiggle the steering wheel, turn on loud music, etc.
Is he 25 or 5, he is an adult and male his ass can walk
If it was so cruel she could have walked with him. She didn’t. Instead acts put out after the fact. Problem solved by letting them make their own way to and from things. You’re under no obligation to drive anyone anywhere and just because you don’t drink. It does not automatically make you designated driver. What Jamie is doing is dangerous and not fun. He understands the consequences but ignores them. He may act like a child but he is not and very capable of walking a short distance to his home. You’re the driver and would need to live with the repercussions if anything happened while driving due to him. Stop driving them.
NTA. You gave him multiple warnings, he ignored you, and his “fun” was literally messing with your safety while you’re behind the wheel. You didn’t abandon him miles away, you dropped him half a km from home in a safe area. If anything, you set a boundary he needed to hear. His girlfriend calling you “cruel” is ridiculous. he’s the one putting everyone at risk.
If anyone did that in my car, they’re walking, no second chances, after being told. That is how accidents are caused. NTA
NTA. I would never drive him anywhere again. He is behaving dangerously and could cause you to have an accident. Tell him he isn’t safe to have in your car.
NTA He ignored you asking multiple times. He is the one who made it so the only thing that would get through to him is an unpleasant consequence. Next time he might try just cutting out his BS when asked to. You can’t make a habit of kicking a sleeping dog then claim victim status when it finally jumps up and barks at you.
>his girlfriend says I overreacted, he was just having fun
The dude is an AH and he’s endangering everyone’s life. Stamp this attitude from him and the girlfriend out and NEVER let him in your car again. If you do, it’s absolutely on you if it causes a crash.
NTA.
Sit him in the back with child lock on door and switch window buttons off for back seat.
NTA
In US terms, you made him walk less than a third of a mile.
Jamie is an immature dick. Not only a safety issue, but clicking the locks off and on is a great way to break the mechanism.
Dude needs to find another ride.
hey, i suggest you should gently tell her this:
i know it felt heavy making you walk home and that wasn’t easy for either of us, i kept feeling unsafe in the car when you kept messing with the controls even after i asked you to stop
i’m sorry you feel hurt and i wish this didn’t come to that but i needed to protect myself. i hope you understand i didn’t want to punish you, just needed a boundary
Well, well, well… If it isn’t the consequences of him own actions…
NTA. Should have done that sooner!
Never ever let him in your car again oh NTA
NTA
In college, I once had a friend get out and walk home for because he repeatedly refused to take me seriously about his behavior in my car. It got his attention.
Jamie may have ADD and trouble being still – OR he may be an AH who likes messing with people.
I would tell Jamie (and the sister) that he has 3 choices:
He manages his behavior when he rides with you.
He does the driving (and doesn’t get to drink).
He arranges other transportation for himself.
If he really struggles that much to manage his behavior, he should promised a doctor and get checked for ADD and probably take some medication. He cannot endanger you all with his unmanaged behavior. If he just enjoys messing with you, then this is the consequence of his choices.
NTA
But his girlfriend says I overreacted, he was just having fun, and making him walk was cruel.
Did you ask her if she wanted to walk with him?
NTA. He’s ridiculous to believe it’s ok to mess around with someone else’s car mechanisms while they’re driving. I would have made him walk, too.
NTA What the actual fudge?? He touches the steering wheel while you’re driving? Never let this ah in your car again.
NTA
And walking half a kilometer is nothing.
NTA. Not in the least. What a tool.
NTA. Actions have consequences. I wouldn’t drive him either.
NTA. He’s 25 not 5, stop giving him lifts, tell his girlfriend that was the last time he is allowed in your car and stick to it.
NTA – All of this is unsafe behavior. He’s been told multiple times not to do it, but he persists. Honestly, he wouldn’t have gotten a second chance to do this, and you’ve been more patient than he deserves. If your “best friend” thinks this guy’s “fun” is more important than your safety, she isn’t your friend.
Your car is your private and safe sanctuary. If your business/mother in law wants to provide rides for personnel then she needs to provide a company car or a ride service option.You are not onligated to drive others in your car, especially those that cause distractions for the driver.Do not provide free taxi services or rides anymore. No is a complete sentence.
NTA. Why don’t people get that someone “just having fun” at someone else’s expense is a-hole behavior.