My sister (16f) moved in with me (20m) a few weeks ago. Our dad wanted to separate her and his wife’s son, Logan, (16m) because they secretly dating for over a year behind his and his wife’s back and now she’s pregnant because of it. So yeah they’re legally stepsiblings. They met each other when they were 13. My dad and his wife still thought that made us all siblings and they ignored any signs that maybe there was something else between my sister and him.
I knew they were dating because my sister confided in me. I never told dad because the two of us don’t really talk and we had a big disagreement after he remarried and when I moved out the relationship got worse. I warned my sister to be careful but she thinks she was bad at remembering to take the pill.
Since she lives with me now our dad expects me to keep her and Logan away from each other. Dad wanted her to have an abortion but my sister wanted to keep the baby and Logan’s on board for that. He started saving money from his part time job and he told me they want to be together even if his mom and our dad aren’t okay with it.
My dad’s wife tries to keep Logan away. She doesn’t know that he’s working so he can save money for the baby. My sister also works part time and she’s both saving and trying to buy stuff little by little. I’m willing to support them and the baby while they get on their feet and I can do it. I’ve been doing well for myself for the last year now.
The whole thing has been messy and dad keeps telling me I should be doing everything to keep my sister away from Logan because they can’t possibly do this. He said he didn’t know how siblings could do this. I told him because they never saw each other as siblings or even family because of him and his wife. Dad told me he thought it was just me and I said that’s why we stopped talking because he never fucking listens (which is true) and he’d get mad any time I tried to explain how I felt.
We’ve talked more in the last two months than in the two and a half years previous. And he could make my sister go somewhere else if I piss him off so I’m trying not to. But he’s demanding Logan and my sister not talk and he doesn’t think them having a baby together is an excuse to make them need contact. I think while he doesn’t like it both he and his wife have to accept this is their reality.
But they’re both super pissed at me for not cutting off all contact.
AITA?
Comments
NTA
NTA a stepbrother is not a genetic risk unless dear old dad has been dipping his wick in his current wife longer than they’ve been married. Is possible. But his reasons currently dont stack up. He & the current wife forced these kids together, now he needs to face reality – all their fault, no blame on your sister or her step-brother.
NTA but im gonna say what a Marmalade Boy situation we have here.
NTA they need supervision and support and you are giving them that. I hope you are signing her up for WIC and parenting classes to help her get all she needs. It’s not going to be busy but they won’t be the first teen parents and won’t be the last. It’s going to be hard but not impossible. Keep encouraging both to finish school.
NTA. It’s good they have you on side
Nta but 16 is too young to have a baby. Logan and your sister are still children themselves. They need to really think if they are emotionally and financially ready for a child irrespective of their parents.
NTA you’re the best older brother a girl can have. Maybe her and Logan should get emancipated? So far they’re proving to be responsible (despite the baby itself), working, saving. I’d definitely help them but I’d make it clear: as long as you’re responsible and serious about it, I’ll have your back. They’re not blood related and your dad is a stubborn idiot.
I’m happy you moved out and you’re doing great for yourself. And as somebody who didn’t have any support growing up, thank you for being the brother you are for her.
At the end of the day they’re not blood related. Two more years and there is not a thing your dad and his wife can do about it. NTA. You’re good brother.
Dude have them reconsider the abortion. Two 16 year olds raising a child without the grandparents helping out is going to be a shitshow.
They met 3 years ago, had a spark, and it led to a baby. The fact their parents married doesn’t make them siblings. Legally there is no bar to a relationship or a marriage. I remember a few years ago a couple got engaged and introduced the brides dad to the grooms mom. They hit it off and married before the kids. They then banned the kids from marrying as they were now step-siblings. The kids (both in their 20’s) told their parents to do one and got married anyway, but the parents did everything they could to sabotage the wedding. They ended up going no contact.
I think they are far too young to have a baby, but they will have to make the best of it. Logan sounds like a stand up bloke and hopefully they’ll come out stronger in the end. Your parents are utterly stupid though. The best way to get teenagers to double down and stay together is to do exactly what your parents are doing now. “Us against the world” is a powerful motivator.
NTA please do everything possible to keep baby daddy involved with baby
What a mess. Are you willing to raise a kid at 20? Cause that’s realistically what it’s gonna come down to. The kids will have to go to school and no part-time job is gonna be enough to pay for childcare nowadays. I’m hoping you work too, no? So how is this gonna work?
Honestly I wish you the best and I’m sure this was the best/only outcome for them but I also think all of you are way too young and naive to realize that you’ve gotten yourselves into.
NTA.
‘My house, my rules. If you had a problem with it maybe you shouldn’t have kicked her out.’
Why did the pregnant vulnerable girl get kicked out and not the boy? Personally you did her a favour as she is better off out of that toxic environment.
I think you need to the route of becoming legal guardian though. He abandoned her.
NTA
I appreciate what you are trying to do to help and protect them. As you mentioned, they are both under 18, and subject to their parent’s decisions. Unless, of course, they can become legally emancipated.
I don’t have any problem with step-siblings getting married, but I am disturbed about two 16-year-olds having children and expecting to be able to support themselves and their child. Teenagers have been raising children forever, but that doesn’t mean it is easy. I’m not sure you have a realistic understanding of what they will be going through or what it will cost you, either. I think you need to contact an attorney for advice. You have some legal liability which the attorney can help you minimize. The attorney may have some other help for the young couple to make their life a bit less difficult. I presume you are in the United States. If so, CPS and other public agencies may also have some legal interest in this situation. It is going to be an interesting couple of years for all of you.
Good luck!
NTA. Your Dad is one. Not sure why they expect you to do what they could not. I would just nod and smile and bob and weave and evade answering too many questions or giving up too much information. It’s great that you are being so supportive of your sister. Don’t stop that. Of course at their ages it’s highly likely that things between them won’t work out long term but this is something that they need to learn for themselves. Just tell your Dad things like “I’m doing the best I can.”
You are an amazing brother for supporting your sister and stepbrother and being willing to help them with this baby. Your parents are doing a great job of making sure they never meet their grandchild and lose all contact with their children. You may want to look into the two of them getting emancipated if that is a possibility where you live. The requirements for that vary so I’d talk to a lawyer. You also may be able to get custody of your sister in some way. A lawyer would know if there’s any chance of that. I would recommend pursuing this if possible as extra protection for her, Logan, and the baby. NTA, and I am so impressed with you being willing to help them build a life as a family. Not many people would sacrifice in that way.
Your father is failing everyone . His wife is the same
Another history of parents trying to force their children to see themselves as siblings. Sad.
With the help of your grandparents, it’ll be easier for you because they are minors.
They both lucky to have you.
All the best for all of you.
NTA. They aren’t siblings. They met as teenagers, so they weren’t even raised as siblings. You’re doing right by them both being supportive.
Quite simply put. They were teenagers when they met, and at an age where they began to show an interest in other people.
It would be different if they grew up together from a young age and/or there was a large age gap.
But none of that applies to either of them. They’ve never had the chance to develop the sibling bond that can often develop between step siblings. (For context: I was 12, and my step sister was 4 when we first met, and I consider her as being my sister)
Your sister and step brother are both still very young, though, and having a baby will impact their futures.
But if having the baby is their decision, then everyone just has to accept it.
The only AH here is your dad for kicking his daughter out of her own home.
Why was she kicked out, but the step brother allowed to stay?
Your dad is legally responsible for his daughter, and he should be reported for child abandonment.
I get that it can be difficult to see for your dad and his wife. They see each kid as their own, get together and consider them (your sister and your dad’s wife’s son) siblings, but they aren’t.
I don’t know your sister nor her boyfriend, but I think they are a bit young to be parents.
Having said that, they seem to be taking the responsibility they should.
I think someone should talk to them about the sacrifices having a kid involves, just to make sure they understand. If they still want to go ahead, up to them.
To your point, I don’t think you’re the AH at all. You’re providing the support from a family perspective that she clearly needs (whether you agree or not with her decision).
Mate, all the best
You need so much luck. Your father and his wife are completely delusional thinking that 216 year-old are going to be moved into a home together and have a sibling bond. This was pretty much inevitable.
But I think you’re suffering under a little bit of delusion yourself. You are 20 years old and now you’ve taken in a pregnant teenager. Your stepbrother’s little part-time job and your sister’s part-time job are not going to support a baby. And she’s not even gonna have that job once she gets further along and her pregnancy and can no longer work and then she’s gonna have the birth and needs to recover and then who’s gonna take care of this child while she goes to school, tries to complete her education and works?
It’s past time that you, your father, his wife, your sister, and your stepbrother all sit down and start being really honest with each other and make some serious decisions about who’s gonna take care of these two teenagers and the child that they have created before it’s too late to make any decision