TLDR: Ex says, because I’m more financial stable and have had less trauma, I should give 100% of sale of joint house to them for their financial future to be equitable.
Been together a bit over 5 years, jointly bought a house and I put 20% down since I had the finances and my partner did not, we’ve split mortgage expenses since. We experienced a terrible family tragedy and now we’re splitting up. My partner essentially asked that I turn over the keys and walk away or give all the proceeds of the house sale to them. Because I came in with more money and have more stable future financial outlook, my partner feels that this is the right thing for me to do. For context, we both have children from previous relationships as well.
We’re not legally married, but I’ve been through a divorce before and understand general practice is that what you bring into a relationship is a non-martial asset, and yet I am experiencing extreme guilt about the fact that my Ex is insisting that the caring and loving thing to do would be to agree to this. I’ve requested several times now that I get back the down payment, we split the rest of the proceeds 50/50 and go our separate ways, but they seem unwilling to consider that and believe they have a case should we go to court.
AITAH?
Comments
NTA don’t let your partner make you feel guilty. In reality they should only get half of what’s left after you take back your down payment. You weren’t put on this planet to subsidize their life
NTA – ex sounds greedy and manipulative.
Your ex is full of it. Split it 50 – 50 and don’t give him one red cent. That’s ridiculous. NTA
Nta, if you paid more of the deposit, proceeds are more than half yours unless someone was home raising all the kids. you need a lawyer consult for a fair split. lawyer right away.
Take 20% of the total sales back as you’re down payment or they can split it.
Go see a lawyer , if you cheated then you should loose the house , if you didn’t cheat then don’t give her one penny more that the law says and don’t talk to her and use a lawyer if you think she will manipulate you
Your idea for how to split the money is exactly correct. That’s what you should get out of it because that’s what you put into it. You’re not even married! I’m guessing if you talked to an attorney they would say the same thing.
However, I think you need to examine your guilt here. Why are you feeling guilty? Do you really feel she needs a bigger share because of her financial status? Is she going to be able to go back to where she was when you first got together? Or is she in a situation where she will be less stable than she was when you got together without that extra money. Was she working and had a place to live when you got together, and then did she work less because she was watching your kids? You sort of have to take a look at the entire picture and go from there.
There’s nothing wrong with the fair split you propose, but you probably should explore your guilt and decide if you want a different split because of it. Either way, you are NTA.
And by the way, the ” caring and loving ” bit is just BS and manipulation.
Just get an attorney
you get your OG %20first, THEN split the %80. That sounds it is actually more than he really deserves. Why should you bankroll his future?
NTA, stop letting him try to manipulate you
NTA tough shit. The sale proceeds should be split fairly and according to how the deposit and mortgage was paid. If anyone stopped working to provide childcare for all children then this should be taken into account too.
NTA. You both get back what you put in as a deposit, and you split the rest. If you paid 50/50 towards the mortgage, you split the rest 50/50. Of you split the mortgage payments 60/40, then ideally the house profits should be split 60/40, too, but they might still be split 50/50.
If your ex insists on court, get a good lawyer and sue for lawyer fees and court costs because fighting over splitting the house is ridiculous.
Updateme!
NTA. You have your own kids to think about. Get your money.
Sorry but Fuck him. It is a joint asset.
When I got married I had less than my wife to contribute to the purchase of our home. She pilot down the 20% we spilt the loan. Lon was on favourable terms due to my working for our bank at the time.
If we went our seperate ways I would happily spit the sales proceeds after she gets back the initial deposit.
That is only fair
Did your partner put in 50%? Were they the stay at home partner? Shalom you’re loved 💔
If y’alls relationship was caring and loving you two wouldn’t be splitting up. No, the caring and loving answer is that you receive the 20% you put as a down payment and then you split the rest of the proceeds 50/50.
That’s 🐮💩and your ex knows it. Don’t ever do that.
Since they didn’t pay into the downpayment, imo, you should pull out your 20% and then split the rest. You are owed the downpayment amount as it is not part of any shared profit.
Tell them to follow through and initiate any court proceedings. It’s likely an empty bluff, but if it isn’t then hopefully you can come to an agreement through mediation or court.
My condolences to you both on the tragedy. I hope you are eventually able to find peace in your grief.
NTA. Tell your partner no, and that if push comes to shove, you will go to court and force the sale of the house and provide them with the evidence that you paid the downpayment to ensure your equity stake is repaid. You should be able to make a claim for a larger portion of the equity in the house because you put the 20% downpayment in.
You don’t owe your ex everything you’ve put into the house just because they’ve been through some shit. That’s ridiculous.
Forcing the sale of the house now may be bad for you financially, given how the market has change.
I would put the house on the market and see what kind of offers you get, then if it’s feasible, offer to buy your ex out based on their equity stake and to refinance the house entirely in your name.
But no on selling the house and giving them everything that’s left after the mortgage is paid, and no on just handing them the keys and expecting them to refinance the house in their own name.
Unfortunately if you go to court, only the lawyers win. It probably is worth finding a lawyer competent in this field and paying for a consult. Get some idea what the legal costs of taking this to court would be and then see if you can convince your ex how you’d both lose in a protracted legal battle. You may end up losing half of that 20% down anyway, so maybe offer it up as a peace offering. But certainly you should invest in some professional advice.
So legally, you’re correct. Morally maybe you can compromise and split the proceeds down the middle instead of worrying about your 20%. I can’t decide which you should do because I don’t know why you’re splitting up.
NTA
Your partner is using guilt to manipulate you.
Get your 20% back and then split the rest.
Talk to him through a lawyer if he continues to insist.
NTA
Let them go to court- they will lose. I’m not a lawyer, it common sense seems to say that there is not a legal reason you should be penalized for being more financially stable. If the house is in both names, both names on the deed, the proceeds should be split. I’m not sure you will get the down payment back (again, not a lawyer), but at the very least you should get half the proceeds.
Stop communicating with your ex and get a lawyer. You’re not married so the rules a different. If your partner wants to waste money on taking it to court that’s on them
NTA. he’s the total A.
NTA
You paid the down payment and your name is on the deed. They were just a renter. Renters don’t get 50% or 100%.
Save your money and buy a new house for you and your kids.
Tell your ex that your relationship is done and further contact is traumatizing you.
Nta and dont let them do this. They dont get anything.
Are you both on the deed? If you cannot agree on a division of the proceeds then you will have to go to court to force the sale and the judge will decide on the equity split. You aren’t married and you don’t have kids together so it’s most likely going to be you get your 20K then the remaining proceeds are split 50/50.
Hahahahahhaha, why do you even need to ask?
Nta
Your ex would not have a case if it went to court. You’d both spend a bunch of money on lawyers and in the end, the proceeds of the house will be split. And I wouldn’t count on getting my down payment back either. That will probably be up to the judge.
NTA. You don’t have dependents? So you are just two people who bought a house together. So you get your initial investment plus half the gain, because they paid half. If they go to court the court won’t think they are special just because they are more needy. Going forward, that isn’t your problem.
NTA your ex is just being greedy. There’s no reason for you to feel guilty. He’s trying to manipulate you. Don’t let him.
No way. You’re plan is the right and proper legal path. They owe you half of the 20% down, then split the cost of the house. If they want to stay in the house, they need to buy you out, half of the current value. If you’re both on the deed and they can’t buy you out, sell the property and split the profits (and they still owe you for the downpayment).
They don’t have a court case, that’s idiotic. If they want it to go to court, they will just lose a bunch of money to a lawyer which is dumb as hell. They must not be good with money, so hopefully they come to their senses.
NTA.. it should be a sliding scale.
No. Do not give them a dime of your money. Go to court if you have too
NTA. The caring loving thing to so is cut your own financial throat? Doesn’t sound like they are caring or loving about anything but themselves, why should you be any more generous than they are?
NTA… Keep your money. You have been more than fair.
You’re still asking about this a month after asking the 1st time?
Nope, you don’t owe him anything, don’t let him bully you out of what you are completely entitled to. Take what is yours and ignore him.
NTA!
NTA. I disagree with the people saying that u should get your 20% deposit back first. I think that u should get 20% of the assessed value first, assuming that the home has increased in value.
In that sense someone having more trauma shouldn’t have the stress of more money.
Did you cause the family tragedy? I’m assuming you didn’t. It sucks that this happened. It doesn’t change what is fair. Relationships break. That’s unfortunate but also has 0 to do with financial responsibilities.
Stop feeling guilty (I know it’s easy to say…) you are dissolving a partnership. You are both partners. You get what you’re owed.
What kept him from working hard enough to make a good living?
Don’t be a doormat. Lawyer up if he won’t hand over the money he OWES you
NTA, get your 20% back first, then split it 50-50 and be done wit this insane person. They have zero case.
They’re trying to take advantage of the emotional state you may still be in and believes you will cave to this. Get your deposit back and split the rest fifty fifty.
NTA
Get your 20% and split proceeds 50/50. That’s fair. End of story. Don’t buy into the sob stories they’re slinging. Get your fair share and hit the road.
Get an attorney
NTA – don’t let them guilt you.
NTA – they are just shooting their shot at this money grab to see if you’ll bite. lol
Make sure you get your name off the mortgage. Don’t just walk away… they need to refinance
You asked this a month ago. Stop asking and nove on with it.
Now, some of your comments and pass suggest.You did something absolutely horrible that ruined this other person.
If you truly did something that is causing them financial hardship, then yes, it would be better to pay them more since you were the cause of their financial and emotional hardship.
But that is a choice that you have to make because it is unlikely.Anyone is going to require you to do it.
Also hiring lawyers and going to court is severely going to eat up the profits for both of you.
No, handle it as a divorce. 50/50 split of any post marital gain pkus each keeps what they walked in with. There are no provisions for emotional trauma. That’s utter bullsh*t.
NTA your ex sounds like they are manipulating the tragedy to take financial advantage of you.
No, they do not have a case should this go to court.
The “You’ve experienced less trauma” thing, without getting into specifics? Is that true? I mean either way it kind of seems like she’s trying to monetize her trauma to extort more money from you. Also, if you paid the entire down payment then half of the down payment should be coming out of her side of the equity as well
NTA why would they have any chance of winning a case that grants them the complete amount? That’s ridiculous. Expenses of the sale are paid, then each person gets back all of the money they have put in, anything left over is split 50/50.
NTA The “caring and loving thing to do” is to not try to screw over the other person, like you partner is trying to do. Tell them that they’re lucky if you’re willing to split it evenly since you put a 20% down payment on it.
Why do you feel guilty?
If you had to pay alimony, would it be less more or equal to the house?
Are you leaving them destitute?
Nta and the judge will probably do just that
He can say whatever. It doesn’t make it right.
Absolutely NOT!
You are due your initial 20%, and then the rest is split 50/50
Don’t let this manipulative asshole face rip you off like that
YWBTA to go along with the proposed insanity grift
I’m not sure where you’re at or if this applies, but once you used your money for the down payment, it became a marital asset (though I know you’re not married). This happened to my mom and my parent’s first house. But speak to a lawyer immediately.
Lmfao. NTA.
They have no case.
You guys would split 50/50. U can try to get ur deposit back but if they don’t agree then 50/50
They do not have a case in court. Court doesn’t exist to back up how they feel things should be, or to reward someone for trauma. You are being sufficiently generous here. The loving thing to do doesn’t really apply to relationships that don’t exist anymore. Your financial future is all you are responsible for going forward.
lol let them take you to court bc it won’t do anything.
Give the 50/50 AFTER you take out the down payment. You having more means nothing.
First off you were not legally married, so you don’t want them shit in the first place. They paid at least 50% of the mortgage per month and 50% of the down payment, closing costs, etc., then yes you should split. If not tell them to fucking pound sand!
They have no case whatsoever, and your offer is the only fair one. NTA, and if he really wants to waste tens of thousands in court, so be it. Sell the house, get back your down payment, split the rest 50/50 (if you really did put in equal amounts otherwise). To hell with “caring and loving”–it’s an excuse to cheat you out of hundreds of thousands of dollars for no damn reason.
NTA – be prepared to lawyer up if they are not happy but 100000% at closing, “2 checks, pls”
NTA there’s nothing greedy about wanting your initial investment and 50% of the profits since back. Don’t let them get into your head, they’re an ex for a reason. If you really feel guilty about that money and can’t manage, take it and put it into savings accounts for your children.
I feel it’s more like OP’s house bc the ex couldn’t finance it. He shouldn’t get anything. Maybe any money he put into it, but even then that’s generous. He would’ve had to pay rent somewhere all these years anyways. He certainly doesn’t deserve all of it, that’s just absurd. OP should get a lawyer & watch her back.
Question: are both of you on the loan and the deed? If no, and it’s only you, you’re being very generous, technically, you’d owe them nothing.
If yes, I would invest a couple hundred dollars with an estate lawyer to confirm what typically comes out of situations like this. I think your estimate of getting the downpayment and splitting the process afterwards makes sense but I don’t know about other investments you’ve both put in along the way, how much your valuation has increased, and how those impacts split after sales.
Giving her money because she didn’t have a lot to begin with and because something bad happened to her though isn’t a good reason when you’re not married.
I’m leaning towards N T A but the reality is if the house hasn’t appreciated that much or if there are other major repairs and investments made along the way, I don’t know how that factors into it.
Hang on – you’re not married!! Is he even on the mortgage or the deed go the house??
In my country defacto partners can receive assets if they contributed to the maintenance and acquisition. But they have to go through the Courts to get it.
NTA
Let her sue you, she’s wrong. Get back your 20% and give her half of the rest and block her. Her finances are her problem, don’t let her guilt trip you into giving your children’s inheritance to her. It’s not your job to provide future stability for her.
UpdateMe
What does your ex think their case is? Their attitude sounds like a good way for both of you to get less and lawyers more.
Who is “they”? This is between you and her. You both have kids. What about your children?
Get the price of the house in today’s market. Take your 20% down payment.
She can either buy you out or you buy her out and whichever party keeps the house. If neither person wants or can’t buy the other out, then sell the house and split 50/50 (again AFTER the down-payment is returned to you) after 5 yrs, you should have a little equity also so nice!
Under no circumstances should you feel guilty or fold.
Go to court. Their gaslighting and emotional manipulation won’t work there and you’ll get 50% of the proceeds from the sale of the house,
Law-r-up!
Your ex not having as bright a future as you isn’t your fault.
Whose name was on the house payment paperwork and deed? If only yours is, I’d say you’re NTA even if you give them nothing, as they’d have had to pay rent anyway to live there, and that’s all their payments equate to in such a situation. That being said, even if that was indeed the setup, it still would be nice and more than fair if you take your 20% down payment back first, then split the rest 50/50.
NTA at all. It’s half yours.
If you guys sell, I’d even argue that you get the deposit value, and then 50% of everything else. If you want to be nice, then 50/50 of the total.
If one of you keeps it, the other is needs to not only pay out what is owed to the other, but, I cannot stress this enough, needs to refinance the mortgage under their name only.
Waaay too many people out here getting screwed, saying they’ll let the partner have the house, and then finding out down the line that they’re still on the mortgage.
Why should you be penalized for having more money and divorcing a short term relationship.
Subtract and take your 20% you put down. Then split the equity from the sale of the house.
NTA, It’s amazing how the “caring and loving” thing to do is give them what they want and screw you and your kids over in the process.
Do the fair split. Whatever tragic thing that happened, it happened to you both. They don’t get to cash in on your grief or sympathy.
Well, do you believe in equity or equality? There’s a big difference.
You owe it to your kids to get every cent you put in and are entitled to. Ask him to sign away his portion and see how that sits with him . NTA
Don’t confuse guilt with sorrow. You aren’t doing anything to feel guilty about. You have kids to think about, you don’t know what’s around the corner. Don’t give up your equitable half. Talk to yourself about this as you would advise a friend. Good luck
NO NO NO. How long have you owned to house? You have your own kids future to think of. Honestly, she sounds like she’s just with you for your money. And it wouldn’t surprise me, if you turned the keys over to her, she move a new guy in Pronto. Don’t be a sap. She has no chance of winning any more than a small percent of equity, if there is any
Op’s plan is the right one. First recoup the 20% down payment. Then split any other profits (if any). That is the fair way. Any other scheme (like ex gets everything) is just op giving the ex money. That is not how it works.
The caring and loving thing to do would be to give ME all that money and equity. Seriously though, wouldn’t the caring and loving thing for her to do is to give YOU all that money and equity? She’s manipulating you. Don’t let her. You deserve MORE than half of everything, take what you deserve. NTA.
NTA, and lawyer up…tomorrow.
NTA, they can get 50-50 minus the down payment or the can get 50-50 minus the down payment and also pay legal fees to a lawyer, the choice is theirs.
NTA I would suggest you get your 20% down back and then split the rest- but I’ve always been of the idea of fair and balance- if you don’t want to take the 20% then just split 50/50.
NTA OP needs to have her down payment reimbursed before funds are split evenly. Since this is also her train of thought that how she should proceed. Her financial stability versus the ex has no bearing on anything. He needs to suck it up.
NTA – The ex is a gold digger.
Go 50/50.
NTA. His finances have nothing to do with you. You get your down-payment back, then split the rest 50/50. His problems aren’t your problems unless you allow them to be. He’s delusional, and this isn’t how it works.
The fact your even asking this is insane
Grow a spine and say no
NTA, but why even care if you were? Thats life lmao
NTA. They will 100% fck themselves going to court. They honestly think the “court” scare tactic will work. Stick to what you think is best. I completely agree with getting your down payment back and splitting the rest. Your finances before and after aren’t their concern. Being better off doesn’t mean that the ex is entitled to more than a 50/50 split.
Who is THEY?
You aren’t married to her. You put your money down on the house; you should get that back.
It’s important to learn not to feel guilty when people are trying to roll you for money. Don’t “request.” I would keep the house and offer her 50/50 on any equity above that. If you haven’t built up much, you could adjust that upward. She’s using your kindness and good nature against you. Don’t let her do that–you have kids to protect.
One piece of advice is that you should not talk to her about this and you certainly should not text or email or message about this. Don’t box yourself in if you have to go to court. One thing I would do is figure out the equity above the downpayment so you know what you are dealing with. Talk to a real estate attorney and see what you can do to come out with what you put in. If I were you, I would keep the house and buy her out. It’s simpler. It’s not a pool of money she can claim.
If they want to play stupid games… get a lawyer, fight to get your 20% deposit back, then split it 50-50.
They are no longer your partner. They are manipulative. Don’t pay for their poor life choices.
You shouldn’t get your 20% back. You should get the 20% back plus whatever amount the house appreciated as a percentage on that 20%. NTA
Nta. You dont owe your ex girlfriend your future. Period. She is being manipulative.
NTA.
UpdateMe
Fuck. No. An equitable financial deal? Yes. Giving him all the money? No.
Given that you weren’t married, you likely don’t legally owe him anything.
NTA
You don’t share your gender or that of your partner, but I’ll just refer to your partner as a ‘she.’ She’s already taken advantage of you financially and otherwise several times.
Stop rewarding her for being irresponsible. You paid your dues with this woman and then some.
NTAH!
She is being very unreasonable, and frankly she is delusional.
This a financial transaction and nothing more. There are no equitable considerations to be made. You get the 20% you put down off of the top. Then you divide what’s left, after closing costs and expenses. Thats it.
So let’s get this straight, she says you have more money than her, but she is threatening to take you to court to get what she wants?
Hell, call her bluff. Consult an attorney first and beat her to the punch. Have the attorney draw up a legal letter stating your offer.
She what she does with that. Either she’ll figure out that’s it’s fair or she will stick to her guns and take you to court. But at least you’re ahead of her.
The reality is that she’s dug in on this. So reasoning with her is a long shot. Go to court, get it over with. If you can, sue her for damages, court costs and attorney fees if possible.
I agree with the consensus here on keeping things equitable, but I just want to applaud OP for keeping the debate gender neutral and as objective as possible. Wish more posters did the same.
Hell no. Remember that you are the responsible one and now you need to look out for you and your kids. Lawyer up and get the money you paid for the down payment and the split the rest of there is any. Not your fault your ex doesn’t understand money.
Net proceeds less your initial down payment, remaining balance split between you. Only way to proceed. NTA
If you were married you’d be splitting ALL your assets down the middle. There is a reason for that. If you both went into the relationship believing it was going to be permanent…I believe it’s fair they come out of it with more than what they went into it with. How many years did they give to you? This is the least they’d be getting if this was a divorce.
Nta, how is your ex being less financially stable and having trauma your fault/your concern
NTA. Let them go to court,and get nothing.
NTA and he doesn’t. Courts don’t care about the guilt grips and what someone considers the caring thing to do. They only care what’s fair. Don’t let someone take from your existing kids. They deserve fairness in money for their future as well.
I think that usually finding a lawyer that specializes in this type of mediation, as it’s likely not uncommon – in the grander sense of finances, is probably going to be your best opportunity to negotiate without having to take it all the way to court proceedings.
This is, of course, not advice, but I know that there have to be other couples who’ve experienced a similar financial issue.
As for your tragedy, I am sorry that you had to endure whatever it was, and I hope you all heal from the pain it caused you and your loved ones.
🙏🏻
50/50!!!
NTA. If she believes she has a case if you go to court, go to court then. Expecting you to just give her that much money is delusional. Why the hell would you?
Go to court
Info: what was the rest of the finances and domestic labor split? I ask because you don’t really give much info on the set up of your relationship. Like if you had a joint sick child or you alone had a child/family member needing care, that your partner restricted their own career to be a caregiver to and has now passed, giving them more would be more fair because their finances were effected by a joint or your issue. However if you were both working full time and there was no joint issue that affected their earning potential, splitting the way you contributed like you want would be fair.
NTA.
Get your 20% and your 50% share.
You said elsewhere that you did something brutal or horrible to end the relationship. It’s hard to scale the fairness of this without some idea of what that was. Did you injure your partner?
Just split the proceeds in half and suggest that they seek a legal remedy if they disagree
Nope. NTA. Get your 20% back and then 50% of equity. That is the caring and loving thing to do. Remove the emotional “logic” from the equation. Keep it clean and move on. They can walk away with what they equitably deserve.
NTA, you take your 20% down and split the balance of the proceeds. Without an existing written agreement, that’s the way most courts would split the baby. See a lawyer immediately.
NTA
Your current financial situation shouldn’t have anything to do with splitting the proceeds from the home.
You should keep your deposit amount + 50% of the residual value of the house, they should get the other 50% of the residual value.
If we assume you put down 15000 and the house sells for 90000, then you should get 15000+(75000/2) = 52500 and they should get (90000-15000)/2 = 37500
that way you are not subsidising them nor they you, and what you both get is a factor of the deposits you paid and the subsequent house price movements affecting the property
Talk to a lawyer. Morally you are owed your 20% downpayment back. Legally, it might not work that way. If both names are on the title, it might just be a 50/50 split of the proceeds from the sale. Since your partner is already making up excuses to take your money, it might be an ugly fight.
The fairest way to do the split is to subtract OP’s 20%, PLUS interest on the 20% based on appreciation of the value of the home (or subtract if the value has gone down), then split the remainder 50/50.
OP, you seem like a nice person, and I’m sorry that y’all have been through a tough time. But don’t hamstring yourself here while you’re emotionally vulnerable.
And next time they mention taking you to court, immediately stop talking to them, hire an attorney, and tell them to direct all future communication through the attorney. That will shut that crap down very quickly.
NTA
NTA, once there is a split you must do what is best for you, not them you.
Get everything you are entitled to regardless of finances.
If it gets nasty so be it. they are going to be out of your life.
Try and settle it fairly but if they push it go to war and do not let yourself get bluffed.
No, no.. no no no .. nTa. Crazy….
NTA. Why would you do that?
Your partner is greedy and manipulative.
Stand your ground.
How is the title held?
I am not a lawyer and your state may have laws that vary. Depending on your state and how the title is held, it’s possible that the best you could hope for is a 50/50 split and you will be out half of the 20% down payment you made.
You need to consult a lawyer experienced in family and divorce law. There is no way you would be out your investment in total. If this goes to court you will both lose, only the lawyers win. If your partner is vindictive this may be their intent.
Your suggestion of recovering your 20% down payment (with or without interest – your choice) and then 50/50 for the remaining proceeds of the sale seems like the most sensible approach. Certainly if you were feeling amazingly generous you could give her the lot, but I don’t see why you should.
Talk about guilt tripping someone, NTA. No, 50% plus 20%. Easy .
NTA. Please look out for yourself. A 50:50 split after initial downpayment is more then generous.
E.g they came with nothing and will leave with something.
Honestly? Are both names in the deed?
If not, they may have just been your tenant all along. In which case, they aren’t entitled to anything.
Give yourself a break, in light of having your own kids too, there’s no logical reason you should comply.
Sounds very emotional blackmail kind of thing.
NTA
Don’t do it, emotiomal manipulation and financial manipulation isn’t a good resson. You make may make more, you also put in more, so the reasoning doesn’t work. Ex shouldnt het to skate away on your hard work.
lol NTA joint tenancy is 50/50.
NTA
You paid that money, you deserve it back. It is not your responsibility to fund the rest of his life.
No. Just say no.
NTA
Don’t give away your assets. Split them fairly, and remember to take your down payment off the top before you split the proceeds.