Hi so this is my second year in college and I have the same roommate I had last year. We get along well but one thing that has always slightly bothered me is that she enjoys doing everything on the floor. Now if you know anything about dorm rooms you know they aren’t the biggest room and that these universities like to squeeze as many students in them as possible.
So when she’s on the floor she’s taking up like half the space, especially since she lays right in between our beds are. There have been multiple times where I’ve accidentally kicked her getting out of bed, or knocked something over when trying to get around her. I usually don’t apologize because I don’t think it’s really anyones fault.
Well one morning when I woke up I hopped out of bed and stepped right on her ipad. It didn’t crack or break or anything just messed up where she was at. I just said “whoops” and kept getting ready for my day. It wasn’t an issue with her or anything she just giggled and picked it back up.
I told one of my friends from high school about it and she asked if I apologized and I said no because technically she was in my way. She said that doesn’t matter and I should apologize anyway even if it was an accident.
Yeah I can see what she’s saying but I didn’t see it as a big deal and my roommate didn’t seem to see it as a big deal so I just want to know if I’m in the wrong for not saying sorry.
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Hi so this is my second year in college and I have the same roommate I had last year. We get along well but one thing that has always slightly bothered me is that she enjoys doing everything on the floor. Now if you know anything about dorm rooms you know they aren’t the biggest room and that these universities like to squeeze as many students in them as possible.
So when she’s on the floor she’s taking up like half the space, especially since she lays right in between our beds are. There have been multiple times where I’ve accidentally kicked her getting out of bed, or knocked something over when trying to get around her. I usually don’t apologize because I don’t think it’s really anyones fault.
Well one morning when I woke up I hopped out of bed and stepped right on her ipad. It didn’t crack or break or anything just messed up where she was at. I just said “whoops” and kept getting ready for my day. It wasn’t an issue with her or anything she just giggled and picked it back up.
I told one of my friends from high school about it and she asked if I apologized and I said no because technically she was in my way. She said that doesn’t matter and I should apologize anyway even if it was an accident.
Yeah I can see what she’s saying but I didn’t see it as a big deal and my roommate didn’t seem to see it as a big deal so I just want to know if I’m in the wrong for not saying sorry.
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> I think I am the AH because I don’t apologize when bumping into my roommate
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, your friend giving you flak over this sounds really immature..
NAH – if your roommate didn’t have an issue with it and you don’t have an issue with it then it’s a non-issue.
I’d say it’s worth mentioning to your roommate to not leave their iPad on the floor as you don’t feel comfortable being potentially responsible if it gets broken because it’s where you put your feet when you get out of bed. I dunno, maybe have a clear “zone” around your bed that you can step into that is agreed that she doesn’t encroach on and vice versa?
NTA
Why does your friend think their opinion matters? If your roommate was upset then maybe yes apologize to be nice and keep the peace, but also point out it happens bc she’s on the floor all the time
NTA
NTA
If she’s taking up the floor space and making it a veritable minefield, it’s her fault if something breaks. She gets half the space, and her bed constitutes part of said space, not the floor.
Perhaps it would be prudent to ask that she keep breakable and important items next to her bed, not yours.
>I said no because technically she was in my way
Gotta say this makes you the asshole.
You both have the right to exist in your room. The fact that you know she likes to spend time on the floor, yet you refuse to even look when you’re getting out of your bed to see if you’re going to be stepping on a whole entire human being kind of blows my mind.
I also like to lie on the floor. I have a bad back after having broken it years ago, and spending time stretched out on a hard surface feels good. It’s more comfortable than lying on my bed because it gives a lot more support.
If someone repeatedly stepped on my and knocked things over on to me, I’d feel pretty damn disrespected. The fact that she just laughs it off shows that she’s a pretty chill person, and you’re lucky she’s not more upset by your disrespect.
Treat her like a human and not like an obstacle, please
NTA your friend from high school is looking for a dopamine hit from being morally better than you. Usually people are like this because they are losers.
That said it is worth going to your roommate and saying, “Listen the thing with your ipad made me think about what would’ve happened if it had broken, and If any of your stuff breaks because it was lying on the ground under-foot when I was getting out of bed, I’m not going to be responsible for it.
You can’t booby trap the room with your valuables.
I’m not saying I’m going to intentionally break things, but if they break I’m not paying, and I wanted you to know that so you could plan accordingly.”
INFO: have you actually talked to your roommate about this issue?
everyone commenting NTA is an A
seriously, it’s common decency to apologise for this kind of stuff! if it bothers you what she does, communicate it!
YTA. “whoops, sorry I stood on your ipad. Would you mind not leaving it on the floor?”. So easy.
NTA
If they’re leaving electronics scattered on the floor, then it’s their responsibility if something ends up broken
Definitely NTA here. Your roommate is in the way and you aren’t intentionally trying to hurt her or her things.
You definitely don’t need to take the blame for accidentally stepping on her tablet or anything, and how I grew up, I probably wouldn’t have said anything more than you have. My wife would say she’s sorry, though. She wouldn’t be saying it’s her fault or taking blame, just saying sorry that the situation occurred. Like even if I drop something or kick a piece of furniture or have to deal with a frustrating customer service person, she would say she’s sorry that happened, and she had nothing to do with the situation.
I appreciate when she does it, because I know she saw what happened and validates that I’m hurt or frustrated. I think her approach is healthier, and I try to do the same, now, but you do have to be careful since some people assume if you say sorry that you are taking the blame for what happened.
I think it’s common sense to apologize for stepping on someone’s expensive electronics. Even if shes putting herself in that position, that whoops and mentioning how you do it often, knocking something over and not even acknowledging it, its clear you’re doing it passive aggressively. If its a constant you know she’s likely there. So let’s be honest, you get off on it, you do it on purpose, you hope you get to kick something over don’t you.
That being said, if she didn’t care apparently, and you clearly don’t care, then it wouldn’t be weird to go into another year rooming but you are an asshole forsure
NTA. You’re not responsible for her putting things out in the open like that. What is the expectation here anyway? Do you say sorry every time you accidentally kick her or step on something of hers? When this is all avoidable if she can keep her things in their place?
That’s exhausting and impractical. It seems like you and your roommate have a system and are both happy with it. A third person’s opinion seems irrelevant here.
This seems like something that should be discussed between the two of you. YTA for not confronting the issue constructively AND not apologizing when you nearly damage her stuff, whether it’s your fault or not. It’s just the decent thing to do when sharing space. But also — and perhaps you’re too young to have learned this by now — this issue, unresolved, will develop into resentment which will not improve your relationship. Being non confrontational is not a good life strategy. That doesn’t mean you need to be a jerk about it. But learning how to have difficult conversations in a constructive manner (with the intent to solve a problem) is an important life skill. Just have a discussion and ask if you can’t work out a compromise about how to better share your small space. You’ll both feel better about it.
ESH
NTA, but your roommate might be.
Can she loft her bed so she can lie underneath it instead of in the aisle? Otherwise, she’s taking her half out of the middle, which is rather rude.
Apologize. It’s simple and cheap and part of the social glue that keeps us going. Don’t be stingy with apologies.
And don’t be stingy with your words. Tell her that when she takes up so much floor space that she is in your traffic pattern, you are afraid that accidents are going to happen. Let her know that it that iPad is shattered, it’s not going to be your responsibility to fix it (even if you say “oops. Sorry!!” and continue on your way.)
Time to use ALL the words you need to prevent a bigger mess.
Asshole is too strong here, but for heavens sake, be an adult!
NTA. She left her iPad not only on the floor but next to your freaking bed, it sounds. I wouldn’t be able to live with this person.
NTA this is a regular occurrence that your roommate is taking up more than her fair share.
I think the way you worded things makes it seem like you’re an asshole. As long as your roommate is clear that you’re not doing it on purpose, then you’re fine.
Omg this problem is so minor compared to the ones I had in college 🤣🤣
My god the banality.
NTA Your roommate knows her stuff getting stepped on is a possibility and she doesn’t seem to care. There’s nothing to apologize for.
YTA
An apology won’t kill you but I am not surprised you didn’t offer one.