First up I just want to acknowledge this was a really low stakes conflict. Literally $10 worth and I am judging myself for it hard.
I (40F) was selling a cabinet on marketplace. This lady (40s maybe) contacted me wanting to buy it. Her chats were quite friendly and she lives only 3 blocks away. We made plans for the next day but then she had injured her shoulder and needed to find someone to pick it up for her. I offered to drop it off at her place since it was close by.
So I bring the cabinet to her place (dismantled for easy carry) and put it back because she said she wasn’t good with tools. While I was doing that, she started telling me about some health drink she used to lose weight and showed me her before and after pics which were quite incredible tbh (I cannot recall how we came to that topic). She handed me two samples of that drink. I didn’t want to be rude so I took them. She is apparently an ambassador for it.
When she finally paid me for the cabinet it was $10 less than the quoted price. I should add she never bargained on the price before this. I told her that wasn’t the price agreed on. She said those two samples she gave me are worth $10. I was caught off guard. I said alright sure.
There was more small talk but that whole interaction felt weird. As I was leaving I told her thank you for the samples, but I would rather just you give me the money. She argued back for a bit, said she didn’t have cash. She sells prawns as well (she had offered to sell those before on FB but I declined then), so I said fine Ill take 10$ worth of prawns instead. She eventually walked out to her car and found the cash.
I have been thinking about this all day. I feel I should have just let the 10$ instead of generating a conflict, its not a significant amount. Was I the asshole?
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First up I just want to acknowledge this was a really low stakes conflict. Literally $10 worth and I am judging myself for it hard.
I (40F) was selling a cabinet on marketplace. This lady (40s maybe) contacted me wanting to buy it. Her chats were quite friendly and she lives only 3 blocks away. We made plans for the next day but then she had injured her shoulder and needed to find someone to pick it up for her. I offered to drop it off at her place since it was close by.
So I bring the cabinet to her place (dismantled for easy carry) and put it back because she said she wasn’t good with tools. While I was doing that, she started telling me about some health drink she used to lose weight and showed me her before and after pics which were quite incredible tbh (I cannot recall how we came to that topic). She handed me two samples of that drink. I didn’t want to be rude so I took them. She is apparently an ambassador for it.
When she finally paid me for the cabinet it was $10 less than the quoted price. I should add she never bargained on the price before this. I told her that wasn’t the price agreed on. She said those two samples she gave me are worth $10. I was caught off guard. I said alright sure.
There was more small talk but that whole interaction felt weird. As I was leaving I told her thank you for the samples, but I would rather just you give me the money. She argued back for a bit, said she didn’t have cash. She sells prawns as well (she had offered to sell those before on FB but I declined then), so I said fine Ill take 10$ worth of prawns instead. She eventually walked out to her car and found the cash.
I have been thinking about this all day. I feel I should have just let the 10$ instead of generating a conflict, its not a significant amount. Was I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. what action you took that should be judged
> I insisted on getting paid for the full price when the difference was not a significant amount
2. why that action might make you the asshole
> Given that it was only $10 less than the asked price I might be an asshole for insisting on it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
She was taking the piss after you delivered and reassembled the cabinet then tried to get you to take what I am betting was a bunch of MLM crap. $10 doesn’t matter, the principle of not feeling taken for a ride does.
NTA
A cash sale is a cash sale, you can’t start bartering after delivery and get whiny when people want actual money instead of MLM bullshit.
NTA
It’s okay to feel bad after a disagreement but don’t let it change your mind.
People like this rely on you feeling bad in order to get away with their behaviour.
I’d have just put it all back in the car.
NTA
NTA – The small amount is probably why she was being so pushy, thinking you would fold because she hoped you wouldn’t think it was worth fighting for. Furthermore, she was trying to take advantage because even her “retail price” of goods is not what she would have paid for them.
NTA. You could have even argued that you personally delivered the item to her and reassembled them for her.
NTA. She intended to take advantage of you from the beginning. She got you to deliver it, and put it together, and she was trying to take further advantage by “giving” you those samples (I guarantee she was hoping to sell you more in the future!).
I imagine she’ll reach out again to try to either sell you more “health drink” (Plexus?), or attempt to convince you to join her team and push it to others.
I like low stakes posts here!
NTA. She agreed to a price. You didn’t agree to pay for the samples, and given that you were good enough to dismantle and reassemble for her without considering charging extra, I think a couple of health drinks is the least she could do.
NTA. That, let’s call a spade a spade, bitch tried to peddle her wares to you by making you pay for samples! She the A.
NTA.
She was trying the ol’ bait-and-switch. You refused to fall for it.
A lot of those MLM schemes encourage their distributors to leverage family relationships, friendships, and even interactions with casual acquaintances, to get them to buy stuff or become distributors themselves.
People want to be polite, and they feel awkward saying no. Problem is, that awkwardness is what the distributors and the people who dream up these MLM businesses are counting on.
A woman I once shared an office with said to me one day, apropos of nothing, “Are you familiar with Amway?”
I replied “Yes, I am, and in answer to your next question, not on your life.”
She never mentioned it after that, and we got on fine for many more years until she left that workplace.
You said no. That does you credit. Practice saying no more often when people put you in uncomfortable situations.
“No. NO. Absolutely not. This is not what we agreed on. Noooooooo.” Feels good, doesn’t it?
NTA. she was hoping that after you delivered and set it up for her you would just accept the lower amount without issue. It’s not about the amount of the money, it’s that she didn’t discuss it with you ahead of time and she tried to be shady about it.
NTA.
NTA. I’m sure her shoulder was fine too.
NTA. I’d have told her I’d take the cabinet and samples home, and then if I lost a dramatic amount of weight thanks to her wonderful miracle samples (not an MLM I’m sure) then I’d return with the cabinet. For free.
NTA.
Not only was she trying to stiff you out of mo eh but trying to get you involved in what sounds like her energy drink weight loss MLM scheme.
I wonder if she does that to plenty of people as she’s run our of friends and family to sell to.
NTA but you are too naive if you fall for delivering, rebuilding then even entertaining the thought of accepting anything but cash in this scenario.
NTA. You listed for a fixed price. Buyer agreed. She handed you some item you didn’t ask for and then demanded a discount from the agreed price as a result. She’s scamming you (only $10 but still, she stole that by refusing to pay it) and super entitled and rude. Those drinks were probably worth $2 max. Maybe part of her mlm and she’s been struggling to sell. I’d bet that’s exactly it
NTA.
She was not exactly clear that she was aiming for barter vs cash right?
She saw you for a sucker. You drove the furniture to her place, put it together… you gave in quickly and easily to too many things.
Marketplace is FULL of this shit. NTA, you agreed for cash, threw in delivery and assembly… and she tried to swindle you. Block her and never sell to her again.
NTA You did exactly the right thing. She had planned this and the “samples” were actually sales you didn’t ask for or want, while she got herself a discount on your cabinet. She thought that if she made it a done deal you wouldn’t protest. Your only mistake is doubting yourself now.
These kind of people rely on their targets being reflexively conflict avoidant to get away with it.
YTA, to yourself. Not to her though.
Why would you do all that work before getting paid? She really took advantage of you, and you let her.
NTA but its ok to feel sorrt for some lady whonhas spent a couple of grand on an MLM scheme and jas a bunch of worthless stuff tonget rid of.
NTA That’ll lady tried to hustle you. Next time get your money up front. It’s not about the money it’s about the principle.
NTA – she sounds like an MLM person trying to take advantage of you. It may be $10 but this type of thing is bad.
NTA, the buyer was trying to negotiate alternative payment methods after the deal was agreed too. OP had every right to expect to be paid the full cash amount and not part cash and part “snake oil” or whatever else the buyer had lying around.
You’re the a** for questioning yourself. Next time just pack the s up and leave and tell them to go f themselves