I (22 female) am the second oldest of 4 siblings. The 4 people involved inside the story are I, my younger sister(21 female), my brother (23 male) and my sister’s current boyfriend.
So last year my brother announced that his gf is pregnant and this year they finally got the baby. A little boy. I was at first a little doubtful that it would work out, cause both had no jobs and weren’t really suitable for being parents this young. But I made it clear to both that no matter what, I would give their child 100% support, which both are greatful for. My brother fortunately got a job at my uncles company and his girlfriend is waiting till one year passed so she can look for a job too. After a while my doubts lifted a little and I visit my nephew as often as I can.
Now to my sister. She announced this year that she was pregnant too. The cheering that she hoped for didn’t come and that angered her. Now she pouts that everyone is so mean. Why I am not excited? First noone is even sure if her current boyfriend is really the father cause at the time she got pregnant she also had something going on with another men. She has no job too but instead like my brother and his girlfriend she made it clear that she rather just live with the benefits the government gives her and the income of her current boyfriend. She also has no apartment and everytime someone had offered her help, she trashed their place, didn’t help in the household and even stole from them. So all in all the idea of her becoming a mother now too doesn’t really brings me joy.
I of course have offered her child the same support but she said that if I have such a negative opinion about her and doubt that her current boyfriend is the father then she bans me from seeing my nephew, which I told her I was okay with. If she doesn’t want my support and doesn’t like me seeing my nephew then this is her choice and I’ll accept it. That made her mad even more smh.
So AITA for not cheering at the idea of my sister having a baby?
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I (22 female) am the second oldest of 4 siblings. The 4 people involved inside the story are I, my younger sister(21 female), my brother (23 male) and my sister’s current boyfriend.
So last year my brother announced that his gf is pregnant and this year they finally got the baby. A little boy. I was at first a little doubtful that it would work out, cause both had no jobs and weren’t really suitable for being parents this young. But I made it clear to both that no matter what, I would give their child 100% support, which both are greatful for. My brother fortunately got a job at my uncles company and his girlfriend is waiting till one year passed so she can look for a job too. After a while my doubts lifted a little and I visit my nephew as often as I can.
Now to my sister. She announced this year that she was pregnant too. The cheering that she hoped for didn’t come and that angered her. Now she pouts that everyone is so mean. Why I am not excited? First noone is even sure if her current boyfriend is really the father cause at the time she got pregnant she also had something going on with another men. She has no job too but instead like my brother and his girlfriend she made it clear that she rather just live with the benefits the government gives her and the income of her current boyfriend. She also has no apartment and everytime someone had offered her help, she trashed their place, didn’t help in the household and even stole from them. So all in all the idea of her becoming a mother now too doesn’t really brings me joy.
I of course have offered her child the same support but she said that if I have such a negative opinion about her and doubt that her current boyfriend is the father then she bans me from seeing my nephew, which I told her I was okay with. If she doesn’t want my support and doesn’t like me seeing my nephew then this is her choice and I’ll accept it. That made her mad even more smh.
So AITA for not cheering at the idea of my sister having a baby?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> [1] should I still be happy for my sister?
[2] cause smh family is always important and whatever someone does if it is family it is smh okay
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
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A lazy, entitled, home-trashing thief who doesn’t even know who the father is. What could go wrong? NTA
idk why people think other people need to be excited for their pregnancy. I know it’s assumed but it’s not a requirement, and there are a multitude of reasons why that may not be the case – and I feel like this is one of them.
I don’t think you are but somehow I feel like someone is going to disagree because “family”
INFO: what is the point of withholding congratulations? Even if you don’t approve, she’s having the baby and it wouldn’t kill you or anyone else to do the bare minimum and tell her you’re at least happy she’s happy. I presume she can’t get an abortion at this point, so are you planning on carrying on this attitude when your niece or nephew is born?
NTA. How are you supposed to be excited for someone for being pregnant when they have no job, no apartment, nothing? Poor kid.
NTA. You’re not obligated to cheer for anyone’s pregnancy, especially when there are real concerns about stability and responsibility. It’s completely fair to have an opinion on your sister’s situation, and she should be open to hearing it instead of just demanding blind support.
NTA! Parenting is a huge responsibility. It’s a commitment and a life change. I don’t fault you for not being excited. It sounds like your sister needs to learn how to be responsible for herself.
I mean, when reading the caption I can see that you’re definitely NTA. But pls, people stop with these clickbaity ahh titles 🙏🏻 😭 you can definitely word it differently to make the subject the sister, and not the faultless child. Perhaps “AITA for not being excited that my irresponsible (optional) sister is having a baby” 🤷🏻♂️
My opinion, YTA. It’s not your job to judge someone, it’s your job as a sibling to be there for each other and support each other. I can tell from your description that you don’t really like your sister. That seems to be causing you to not be happy for her.
NTA, cheering for chaos isn’t love, it’s denial, and you’re not obligated to throw party for a situation built on instability and red flags. You’ve offered support for the baby, not blind applause for your sister’s reckless choices and that’s more mature than most.
Is your opinion valid? Sure. Is it appropriate when your sister is already pregnant? No.
Pointing out she’s in a shitty situation doesn’t help anyone unless you’re offering her a way out of that situation (accommodation, a job, free childcare etc). If she just told you she wanted a baby, then sure tell her she’s in no place for one, but it’s too late for that and all you’re doing is causing more problems.
The best thing you can do is offer support without judgment. So I’m going to say YTA, your sister is an idiot, but you’re still being an AH
Thank you generational welfare.
From the sounds of it, your sister didn’t get pregnant because she wanted a child. Seems like she got pregnant because she wanted attention.
She sounds very spoiled. Doesn’t have respect for other people’s property and expects to be taken care of as a ‘wife’ and mother. Maybe her boyfriend is on board about taking care of her. Some couples do have that agreement. There is always a chance that she may change once the child is born. And if she doesn’t change that child is going to need your support. I’m not saying financially, but emotionally.
Just because I’ve been in that situation. I am gonna say yes you ATA When I needed the support of the people around me, they all cut me down, doubted me and made me feel like s*** during something that should have been one of the most exciting times of my life. You don’t need to be excited about it, but you can be kind about it.
NTA. It’s crazy to me that our hard-worked for money goes to people like your sister that do nothing but sit on their asses and pop out kids. It’s so selfish.
Whew, for someone who’s 22 you sure judgy. I hope you have a high paying corporate job that pays you well. You were last yr with your brother until he conformed to your expectations. And you are this yr with your sister. Have no contact with your sister, that’s your prerogative.
So. My sister and bil i do not think were ready to be parents emotionally. They were in a far better situation. My sister has a really good job and they are in their 30s. So much better situation. But my bil pnly plays video games and never stops. He gets home from a part time job and just plays video games. My sister did the same thing. But shes the one who works full time.
But boy did having a baby make my sister bloom. My neice is so precious. And my sister loves being a mother. My bil, it looked like he bloomed at first. Then went right back to video games. My worries on him were right on the mark. But my sister? She turned into an amazing mother.
So im just saying, sometimes a judgment of someone is pretty unfounded. Granted your sister has a ton less going for her than my sister. But sometimes becoming a parent really helps someone grow up. But you have every right to be worried for the welfare of your neice or nephew. But wonderful of you to offer to support the baby. But you have every right to have your feelings. And giving an empty cheer isnt very nice in my opinion.
NTA
NTA I’ll never understand why certain people welcome unplanned pregnancies or even worse plan a pregnancy when they have no money, home, job or ability to raise a child to be healthy and cared for as they deserve.
Living off welfare or saddling your parents with a baby in their house when they should be planning their retirement? Your sister is unfit.
NTA… it kills me when people say every child is a blessing,,when the reality of economics make it an incoming curse if you are not a responsible adult. this is an income reducing burden that inevitably drags down the whole family. Why?…because no one wants to let a child suffer due to the ignorance and immaturity of their unchosen parents. That kid is not even here and I already feel bad for it. SMH
NTA at all. Some people have no business being parents.
Now, NTA but the story changes if your first reaction was “are you sure he is the father?”