I live with my dad. My mom lives in another city. I’m supposed to visit her one weekend a month.
She doesn’t visit me much.
A few days ago she showed up without telling me and she said she is here to spend time with me as if I was supposed to get excited. I told her I already have plans for the day, it was my aunt’s wedding soon and I was supposed to go shopping for a dress. My mom insisted on coming with me because she would be in town only one day and I couldn’t postpone my plans because it was already getting late and I’m the MOH so my aunt was getting really upset.
We(me, mom and her SD) went to the mall and it took me longer than expected to find something I like, I was hungry afterwards and told my mom I want to go to a nearby restaurant. It’s famous for being expensive. My mom said that she really can’t afford it and asked if we can go somewhere else but I was starving so I said no.
We sat down and I ordered and they chose not to order anything. I told her she can go, I wouldn’t mind. She snapped that she can’t leave a minor alone. I told her that I didn’t ask her to come with me so why is she acting like this is my fault?
She started berating me saying that they have been walking all day because of me and are starving and I didn’t have the decency to go to a more affordable restaurant with them or at least offer to buy them something so they wouldn’t be sitting there drinking water (I still had some money left in the card my dad gave me). I told her she can stop whining and go buy themselves a biscuit or something. She did so but didn’t talk to me after that and once she took me back to my dad’s house they went back to their own city and now apparently I’m the bad guy.
Edit: guys I can’t believe I’m clarifying 💀💀 SD is short for step daughter not sugar daddy
Comments
What is an “SD”?
NTA for not buying them dinner but you could have gone somewhere more affordable. Your mom is TA for a variety of reasons.
Sugar Daddy?? I am sorry you are nta but your mom is
Your mother never should have showed up unannounced. YTA for refusing to go somewhere affordable to eat. You sound like a spoiled brat
ESH. Why would you insist on going to a restaurant that is “famous for being expensive”? However, your mom should’ve given you notice that she was coming.
Fake AH
You acted like a brat. You could have chosen a different place
ESH. You and mom deserve each other.
YTA common courtesy would be to go to a more affordable restaurant. It sounds like you have resentment towards your mother, it’s obviously she wasn’t a good mother to you, but you’re just making situations worse.
YTA for going to a restaurant that you knew was expensive. Your mom even said it was too expensive. You sound too entitled to even want to have dinner with you. Grow up. Maybe you’ll have a better relationship. And you’re also the ahole because you think everyone was supposed to know what SD was. Again, grow up.
Your mom shouldn’t have shown up unannounced and you didn’t have to pay for them to eat, HOWEVER, you most certainly could’ve gone somewhere less expensive. Pretty rude on your part.
Cool story. I especially liked the bit about the restaurant at the mall that was famous for being so expensive.
Mom should have told you she was coming. You should have not been such a little brat. Both are AH
ESH. Your mom showing up unannounced and demanding to be included in your plans for the day is frustrating
As for the restaurant thing:
>It would be too late by then. We were in an expensive area.
Ok? So head to a less expensive area or stop to grab a snack to tide you over until you can get somewhere where everyone can eat.
ESH. your mom for showing up unannounced and you for not going someplace cheaper
If you insisted that you all go to a fancy restaurant that your mom said that she can’t afford, then you should have either found a different place, or at least split the bill. Insisting that you go to a fancy restaurant that your mom said that she can’t afford does come off as expecting her and her step daughter to just sit there and watch you eat. It sounds like you should talk things out with your mom. Also, wouldn’t your mom’s step daughter be your step sister?
You sound like basically a shitty person you could have gone somewhere where they could eat you ain’t gotta be happy to se them not your responsibility to buy them dinner you seem to lack empathy or the whole story is creative writing a revenge fantasy my bet is option 2 yta
Your mom insisted on coming when it wasn’t planned, all of that’s on her.
No one, even a parent, has any business dropping in on someone else without notice.
If it was only hunger, I am certain you could have found a fast food place on your way home. YTA
N T A for not buying them food, YTA for purposefully going to an expensive restaurant the people you were with couldn’t afford, even after they asked you to go somewhere less expensive.
ESH her for showing up unannounced and you for not going somewhere she could afford.
ESH
This whole post is so toxic that I feel like I need a hazmat suit just to read it.
ESH. You all need some manners.
You’re the AH. You didn’t have to pay for your mom and step-daughter, but just because you were “starving” didn’t mean you needed to pick an expensive place they couldn’t afford. There are always tons of restaurants around malls, in all price ranges. You sound spoiled and wanted to punish your mom because she doesn’t visit you enough.
ESH. Your mom can’t just show up and expect you to change plans to accommodate her but eating in a restaurant they couldn’t afford was a dick move.
Your mother and her SD should have excused themselves from the shopping trip before everyone was starving, and you could’ve gone anywhere you wanted to eat and gotten yourself home—which you must’ve been planning to do originally!
I thought SD was “side dude” 🤣
NTA. It sounds like she’s mooching hard for some free stuff. If she cared about you, she’d make more of an effort to see you. But now that she has no money and wants food, all of a sudden she’s available. Nah, she can go get her own food
YTA. Normally I’d go ESH but you don’t strike me as an honest or reliable narrator.
You’re a selfish wee prick.
Did you sit there and eat a full meal in front of two people who couldn’t afford it?
If you did, nasty is a word that is not bad enough for you.
Karma is a bitch, and you can look for that snobbish action to come back on you. And you acting like you did the right thing. They should have left your a$$ sitting there. How disgusting!
The restaurant that someone suggests is the One that the person making the suggestion should either be treating everyone, or at least asking themselves if the others can afford it , should that person not want to pay for everyone . In your case , despite you wanting something closer and faster, despite the expense, you could have been willing to go elsewhere from a selection most likely, just outside the Mall. Too bad your Mom seems to be reattached to someone Else now, complete with Step-Kids , and she is still having to Rough It.
YTA. You could have waited a few minutes to find an option they could afford. I get that you had plans you couldn’t cancel, fine. And your mom should have talked to you about when a good time to visit would be. But I don’t understand how your Mom allowed you to call the shots on where you ate. You really sat there and ate while they went without?? I’m not saying you should’ve paid for them. But the fact that you demanded to go there is obnoxious. You obviously don’t have a great relationship with your mom or her step daughter, but in this case, YTA.
INFO: how old is this stepsister that you made watch you eat at a restaurant you knew your/her mom couldn’t afford? Did she really deserve that?
ESH. Except for the stepdaughter.
YTA and super impolite. That was terrible, you should feel very ashamed. Dont matter the issues you may seem to have with your mom, you don’t eat in front of hungry people like that
YTA! You could have gone to the expensive restaurant anytime. You should have chosen something that was more affordable so they could eat as well. They were obviously hungry as well. You are a very inconsiderate AH.
YTA and sound entitled and like a brat!
NTA. Your mom showed up out of nowhere and disrupted your plans. You allowed her to accompany you, but it sounds like you reached your limits in terms of hunger and time. Poor planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on yours.
YTA. Yeah, you’re an asshole for insisting you go somewhere she couldn’t afford.
She’s kind of a jerk for showing up unannounced and demanding you spend the day with her.
But yeah, it’s you. You’re the AH.
You could have been nicer. If you were in a mall you could have gone to the food court but sometimes people don’t have the bucks to spend on high priced food
YTA
Especially after reading all of your comments. Sure your mother shouldn’t have shown up unannounced, but you’re still selfish and could’ve been a bit more accommodating.
Honestly, you and your mom both seem like garbage people.
Whilst your mum should have let you know, you sound like you were being deliberately difficult. I am not sure why your mum chose to randomly turn up but if she had good intentions then you could have been a little more understanding
NTA Not sure why anyone would be expected to provide a meal for an uninvited parent and stepsister on a previously planned shopping trip. As far as using her dad’s card, why should he be paying for either of them? We really don’t know what OP’s mother’s plans were for this surprise visit or what her intentions were for having a meal.