My sister is getting married in Wales soon, the family has to travel up there since most if not all of us live quite far away, we’ve all got our own ways of travelling and I’ve opted to take the coach (For those who don’t know, a coach is like a “fancy bus” that goes further distances than normal buses). My younger brother was worried about travelling with his partner, so I offered to pay for both of their tickets including the return. Since we’d be travelling together and I have the app, I can show all three and we get seated, no problems whatsoever, he and his partner agreed to that.
There is a 2-hour rest before a swap and other small rest points where people can walk around for 10 minutes or so, I did say to them that they can go out and walk around if they want to, but they have to follow the rota. I did warn them that if they miss the coach, I won’t be buying new tickets for them and they’d have to figure it out themselves. I’m not made of money and tickets get pricier the sooner you need them.
This got a negative reaction not just from them but from my mum as well. They all seemed to have the impression that I was going to cover any sudden coach costs when I never said I would, all I did was cover the main ticket for the trip up and the return. The only reason I offered was because they were panicking about how everyone’s going to get up there.
Should I just buy new tickets for them if they miss the rota? AITA?
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My sister is getting married in Wales soon, the family has to travel up there since most if not all of us live in Cornwall, we’ve all got our own ways of travelling and I’ve opted to take the coach (For those who don’t know, a coach is like a “fancy bus” that goes further distances than normal buses). My younger brother was worried about travelling with his partner, so I offered to pay for both of their tickets including the return. Since we’d be travelling together and I have the app, I can show all three and we get seated, no problems whatsoever, he and his partner agreed to that.
There is a 2-hour rest before a swap and other small rest points where people can walk around for 10 minutes or so, I did say to them that they can go out and walk around if they want to, but they have to follow the rota. I did warn them that if they miss the coach, I won’t be buying new tickets for them and they’d have to figure it out themselves. I’m not made of money and tickets get pricier the sooner you need them.
This got a negative reaction not just from them but from my mum as well. They all seemed to have the impression that I was going to cover any sudden coach costs when I never said I would, all I did was cover the main ticket for the trip up and the return. The only reason I offered was because they were panicking about how everyone’s going to get up there.
Should I just buy new tickets for them if they miss the rota? AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1: I bought tickets for my brother and his partner, but I warned them I will not help them if they act careless and miss the scheduled travel times.
2: I believe I could be the arsehole because I am not helping a family member travel up to a wedding
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. They need to stick to the schedule and not waste the ticket they have.
NTA. You’ve been more than generous.
NTA. Of course not. What kind of “emergency” would cause this to happen?
If they aren’t appreciative of your offer, take it back. Don’t buy any tickets for them. Your mom can buy them the tickets and pander to them.
Look up the subreddit “choosing beggars”
Poor adults…
NTA… maybe take a train? A plane… or get good at walking
NTA. That’s how any bus or train travel is. It’s gonna leave on time, so you’d better be on it.
Wait! What??
No
NTA.
Grown ups should understand how tickets work and be responsible enough to make sure they stick to the coach rota.
It was not your responsibility to cover their cost to get to the wedding. You were being generous. It is definitely not your responsibility to be their back up plan if they wander off and miss the coach after a rest point.
INFO: I’m not sure why this is such a big issue- you haven’t even left yet and as long as they don’t go to far away they’re not going to miss the bus. Is this something your brother might regularly do?
Hang on ..they want you to promise to buy additional tickets if they wander away at one of the stop offs and forget to get back on the coach?
That’s a hard no, I think.
Are they for real? Just pay for your own ticket and let these supposed adults make their own arrangements. Why are they making driving in a line so complicated. Do they not know how public transport works? How do they survive in their daily lives?
So they want you to agree to buy them tickets if they can’t follow the schedule? In what world does someone get offered free travel and then insist you prepare to pay in case they screw up something as simple as getting on a bus, not having a longer than 2 hour meal at the mid point, and not taking longer than 10 minutes breaks at other stops?
Unless one of them is disabled, or has a condition that requires frequent shits that take longer than 10 minutes and can’t happen on a bus lavatory, than this is a flagrant NTA moment.
Your mom is wild as well. Instead of thanking you for paying for your brother and his girlfriends travel, she wants you to also protect him from the stress of being adult enough to ride a bus?
I would keep the money, tell your brother and his partner to sort out their own travel, and your mom to take some time to raise her younger son enough that she is confident he can ride a bus without needing someone to be ready to by him an emergency ticket.
Edited for vote: Clear NTA.
NTA. Stop babying them. They are adults. “You’re welcome for covering your ticket. Here it is. The rest of the travel is your responsibility. If you are that worried about missing the bus, don’t get off at the stops.” Repeat ad naseum.
They can download the app and handle their own logistics. You are already doing them a favor by paying.
You’re NTA and if I were you, I’d cash in those tickets and let those irresponsible, entitled, immature ingrates figure their own travel out for themselves.
And your mom likely created (or at least heavily contributed to) the attitude of your little brother, so if she’s so concerned she can plan and pay for his travel.
NTA.
Why on earth would this even have come up as a topic? I would never think to lay out “if you miss the bus at a rest stop I’m not replacing your ticket”. Do they have a history of incredibly poor time management and irresponsible behavior?
You’ve put them on notice. There’s absolutely no reason or excuse for them to miss the bus, and if they do, it’ll be on them to fix it.
Nta
NTA
you should turn of your phone, you were generous enough.
NTA, you covered the coach tickets; missing the rota is on them.
NTA
at our diving joint we had departure times, usually meeting before hand for any preparation left, but leaving on the dot. so anyone who couldn’t be there got left behind.
NTA. This is basic. Have they never used transport before???
NTA, covering the additional ticket ensures they will not make it on time and will act irresponsible. Like they’d planned to go off the railings knowing you’d cover. NOPE. Stick to your guns; they need to keep their butts on the train and/or only stretch their legs or buy their own tickets.
Absolutely not, and NTA.
They just want to spend your money.
How old are these people? Do they not know how to tell time? Are they mentally challenged? Lazy? Entitled? Tell Mommy if they need tickets beyond what you are paying for, she is responsible for them. Otherwise, you will withdraw your offer completely.
NTA
They better stay near the rota so they don’t miss it. They have been warned.
No! Absolutely not. Tell them you offered one solution. Be on time and be grateful
Can they not screenshot their tickets?
NTA, complete opposite of being one. You bought them both a ticket and then clearly explained the schedule and what happens if they miss it. You gave them all the info they needed up front. You seem very kind, clear and very organised
Obviously the answer is of course you should!! Not even just once either!! If they get back continually return to the bus late, then you should continue to buy their new tickets no matter how many times it happens or how much it winds up costing!
/s
Now that you’ve read how stupid that sounds do you agree that this was an obvious NTA and you offering to help them out with their initial tickets, (which they should have still paid for btw) was nice enough and them expecting you to pay for any more than that is hella entitled.
NTA
If they can’t be trusted to get back on the coach then they can’t leave the coach. Sounds more like they were hoping for a few hours alone before joining the wedding crew. You are very generous to pay for their tickets, there’s no reasonable person on this planet who would think you should also purchase backup tickets.
Is your younger brother 5?
I don’t understand why you are footing the bill in the first place. Aside being a sibling, who are you to these people? Do they live with you? Are you somehow financially responsible responsible for these people? Are they incapable of taking a job and therefore have no money? I guess I just don’t get why an adult would pay for the travel arrangements for other adults you don’t live with.
Why can’t they pay for themselves?
And, why can’t they follow a bus timetable, and follow directions to get back on the bus on time if they choose to get off?
Why can’t they adult?
And why oh why is your mum insisting on you taking responsibility for her adult child and partner? She has no right to get pissed.
If those two are so freakin irresponsible that they can’t even get back on a bus that was paid for them so they can attend “an important family event” then fuck ’em…the whole lot of them. Let them tantrum and fret over their incompetence. And let your mother cry about it too. She’s part of the problem, created it.
NTA, OP, but you sure are surrounded by them. I think I’d have a sinus infection that weekend and skip this shit show. If this is how your relatives are you won’t be missing much except stress.
I mean, the absolute gall of these people.
NTA. They can be adults and manage their own time so no one has to pay extra, but if they don’t manage their own time, they can foot the bill for being dumb.
NTA. who would expect someone to cover another ticket if they missed the bus because they’re wandering around. that’s some numpty nonsense
NTA. They are adults who are already getting a free ride. If they can’t be responsible enough to follow a bus schedule, then too bad for them.
NTA.
“Here’s your tickets, now go be a flipping adult.”
I can’t believe this is a legitimate question. NTA