I recently joined a club trying to make new friends. I’ve been to two of their meetings. I maybe spoke to this girl once at one of the meetings.
I’m suddenly thrown into a group chat about giving this random girl 30 as a goodbye gift. AITA for not contributing? I barely know these people and honestly feel really uncomfortable if this is an expectation . I mostly joined just to talk to other women about our shared hobby and also think it was inappropriate for the girl to add me to the discussion since I’m still pretty new. They had a lot of new people join the last meeting and none of them were asked.
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I recently joined a club trying to make new friends. I’ve been to two of their meetings. I maybe spoke to this girl once at one of the meetings.
I’m suddenly thrown into a group chat about giving this random girl 30 as a goodbye gift. AITA for not contributing? I barely know these people and honestly feel really uncomfortable if this is an expectation . I mostly joined just to talk to other women about our shared hobby and also think it was inappropriate for the girl to add me to the discussion since I’m still pretty new. They had a lot of new people join the last meeting and none of them were asked.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) not contributing to a goodbye gift
(2) these other girls are contributing and they are planning the gift around a certain budget so me not contributing they won’t be able to get her as much or be short. Even though I never said I would conttibute
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA but consider how it may reflect poorly on you to other members of this club. Not saying they’re right, but people gonna people and it could leave a bad taste for them.
If you’ve been to two meetings, you should not have been asked to contribute to a gift for someone you don’t know. You’re NTA if you decline to give.
Ross, is this you? What the friends episode and see how it turned out. Then decide if you’re the AH or not.
NTA I just wouldn’t say anything either way.
NTA,
Hell naw.. you don’t even know her and I can understand why the group chat feels like a dick move.
I wouldn’t give anything on principle.. I mean not out of meanness or anything but there should be zero expectation on you here.
NTA but if you elect not to contribute at all, you will show that you are an outsider to this group. If you’re trying to make friends, it’s better to do the kind thing and throw 15 bucks in the pot as a show of goodwill.
Just because someone asks doesnt mean u have to say yes.
A group chat? So they haven’t approached you in person?
What a pity something went wrong with your phone JUST as the messages about contributing to the gift landed in your inbox, and you never saw them in time. 😜
If they’re not buying that excuse, and they DO approach you personally, I’d be comfortable saying “But I don’t know her.” If you do say that, be prepared for them to become a bit chilly. Some people are like that.
But whether you ignore the messages, or whether you openly decline to contribute, you’re NTA.