so i’m a tattoo artist and i’m fairly early on in my career. the fall/ winter is known to be the slowest months in tattoo, so i try to reach out to people directly. i had followed up with a client (i haven’t tattooed/ met her yet, she just dmed me for a consultation). i texted her following up on the tattoo we discussed and she responded saying that it’s not the time to get tattooed since life is hectic right
now (which i totally understand). but then she sends me this message (quoted below) and i don’t know how to feel about it. her brother was diagnosed with cancer and she asked if i would tattoo him for free. i have gifted tattoos before, but it felt weird to me for someone to ask for a free tattoo directly. i feel like she put me in a position if i say no, then ill be known as “the artist who won’t do charity”. word of mouth is rlly important in the industry to build clientele. the last sentence she typed is kinda what got me, it felt a little “guilt trippy”. she also didn’t mention what he wanted tattooed. so there was no “it’s his dying wish to have this” or “he’s always wanted this tattoo”. it was just kinda like, “hey i can’t pay for a tattoo but would u tat my brother for free?”. if i’m doing a good deed id want to do it out of the kindness of my heart, not from being cornered. am i the asshole if i tell her i could only do a discounted tattoo and not a free one?
the message she sent me
Imk if you’re willing to do a free cancer tattoo for him before he starts he’s freshly 18 (i know it’s a wild ask and you’re probably gonna say no but just putting it out there you miss every opportunity you don’t take )
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so i’m a tattoo artist and i’m fairly early on in my career. the fall/ winter is known to be the slowest months in tattoo, so i try to reach out to people directly. i had followed up with a client (i haven’t tattooed/ met her yet, she just dmed me for a consultation). i texted her following up on the tattoo we discussed and she responded saying that it’s not the time to get tattooed since life is hectic right
now (which i totally understand). but then she sends me this message (quoted below) and i don’t know how to feel about it. her brother was diagnosed with cancer and she asked if i would tattoo him for free. i have gifted tattoos before, but it felt weird to me for someone to ask for a free tattoo directly. i feel like she put me in a position if i say no, then ill be known as “the artist who won’t do charity”. word of mouth is rlly important in the industry to build clientele. the last sentence she typed is kinda what got me, it felt a little “guilt trippy”. she also didn’t mention what he wanted tattooed. so there was no “it’s his dying wish to have this” or “he’s always wanted this tattoo”. it was just kinda like, “hey i can’t pay for a tattoo but would u tat my brother for free?”. if i’m doing a good deed id want to do it out of the kindness of my heart, not from being cornered. am i the asshole if i tell her i could only do a discounted tattoo and not a free one?
the message she sent me
Imk if you’re willing to do a free cancer tattoo for him before he starts he’s freshly 18 (i know it’s a wild ask and you’re probably gonna say no but just putting it out there you miss every opportunity you don’t take )
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> i believe i might be the asshole because i won’t do a free tattoo for a cancer patient.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. I’d respond “I’m so sorry to hear about your brother’s trouble, but my insurance doesn’t allow me to do work on anyone with a health condition like that” (I’m guessing that’s not a lie, because of the greatly increased of infection/healing). She’ll probably then ask you for a freebie on her in memory or support of her brother, though. In that case, you can steer the conversation around to maybe she should wait a bit so she’s not making such a big commitment at such an emotional time.
As a cancer patient, NTA, and you have an easy out – it’s not medically safe for him to get tattooed right before starting treatment. You can respectfully decline on that basis without being “the artist who won’t do charity for cancer patients.”
Also tattoo artist here! Absolutely not an asshole. People are wild in their requests… She wouldn’t ask for his landlord to stop charging rent, or for the market to stop charging for groceries, it’s always upon artists and self employed people.
I would just say “I’m really sorry about your brother’s disease. I hope he recovers and that you guys have support during this whole process. Unfortunately I’m unable to gift him a tattoo. Hope you find someone who can”.
NTA. You could be honest and tell her you’re not really in a position to work for free right now. Up to you if you want to offer a discounted piece, but you still wouldn’t be TA if not. I’d be concerned it would set a precedent for others to goad you into doing free or discounted work with various sob stories. “Oh come on, you did it for so and so!” Know your value and hold to it.
If it were the woman you followed up with who had been diagnosed with cancer. I had a friend (who passed) that had breast cancer and ended up having her nipples tattooed, as well as having a more elaborate design done to help cover up her scars. Point being, if you were INCLINED to give a person like this a discount or do pro bono, fine. But you run a business!! You need to make bank to cover expenses and to eat. This chickie you are asking about can certainly ASk, but you are not obligated. IMHO.
I have a lot of health issues, and I personally find it weird to ask that IF his cancer requires treatment and he’s immunocompromised; if not, why even ask for a discount? Many people have sucky parts of life. My answer would be a polite yet firm no.
NTA. Repeat after me: Art is not for free; it costs time, labor, and flipping expensive materials. Do not undervalue yourself; pay yourself.
“I’m sorry, I don’t tattoo anyone for free because of insurance. I’d be happy to offer you an X% discount though.”
If you felt like it.
NTA. It’s really rude to pull the cancer card to request free stuff.