Hey there. I’m female, 28 years old and from NYC. My mom is 55 years old, and we live in a house. The two adult siblings I have (cut off contact with), the male sibling is 27 and the female one is 25.
I used to do the dishes for a household of 5 people, would clean their pots and pans… the litter box for the cats (we have 3 cats). I started to get fed up and told my mom I don’t want to do their chores anymore and will only be doing my chores moving forward.
She told me she’s getting tired and needs help around the home. I told her it’s not fair to have me do their chores, while they sit around and do absolutely nothing like wth. So she cleans their dishes, does their laundry, cleans their bathroom, litter box (the cats aren’t mine, they belong to the mentally ill female sibling).
My mom keeps complaining around the home only to me for some reason and I told her she can complain to them and ask them to do their own chores. They even leave their dishes on the table and don’t even leave it in the sink. Super nasty.
I just do my own chores now, because I’m not cleaning up after grown a** adults. The home we live in is 3 floors… I told my mom if they can’t do their own chores, she might have to hire a maid to come in once a month because I’m not dealing with that bs. My dad only takes the trash out and that’s about it.
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
Hey there. I’m female, 28 years old and from NYC. My mom is 55 years old, and we live in a house. The two adult siblings I have (cut off contact with), the male sibling is 27 and the female one is 25.
I used to do the dishes for a household of 5 people, would clean their pots and pans… the litter box for the cats (we have 3 cats). I started to get fed up and told my mom I don’t want to do their chores anymore and will only be doing my chores moving forward.
She told me she’s getting tired and needs help around the home. I told her it’s not fair to have me do their chores, while they sit around and do absolutely nothing like wth. So she cleans their dishes, does their laundry, cleans their bathroom, litter box (the cats aren’t mine, they belong to the mentally ill female sibling).
My mom keeps complaining around the home only to me for some reason and I told her she can complain to them and ask them to do their own chores. They even leave their dishes on the table and don’t even leave it in the sink. Super nasty.
I just do my own chores now, because I’m not cleaning up after grown a** adults. The home we live in is 3 floors… I told my mom if they can’t do their own chores, she might have to hire a maid to come in once a month because I’m not dealing with that bs. My dad only takes the trash out and that’s about it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I guess because my mom is getting older and I used to take over the chores in the home but I’m getting tired of doing people’s chores especially adults who should be pulling their own weight around the home
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO do you pay rent? Or do you live for free with your aging mom?
Edited out math error
NTA
Anyone able bodied enough to dirty pots and pans is able bodied enough to clean them.
Ditto for pet ownership.
You could even go as far as getting your own pots and pans, that you store in your room, so you don’t have to wait on others to do your own cooking.
Competent adults are responsible for themselves, incompetent adults are the responsibility of their parents or the state.
As you are a competent adult, are you paying rent? Cleaning up after yourself and contributing some chores to the household in general, ie vacuum, mop, bathrooms, etc
NTA
NTA why should you do all the work?
NTA. You’re responsible for your chores, period. Your mom needs to make the others either do their own chores. In any case, not your problem.
OK so your mom has favorite kids, and it’s not you. Knowing that hurts, but it also means you don’t have to reciprocate by bending over backwards for her, or for your lazy siblings.
It’s reasonable for you to do your fair share of the chores while living with your mom. Not just your own, but helping her out a bit as well. But you are not her live-in maid. And your siblings need to do their share, and take care of their own pets.
NTA hold firm on this, OP!
YTA.
You’re 28 and upset about Grown A** adults? You’re one to. Move out and live on your own.
She complains to you because she knows you’re the only one who has helped in the past, and she’s hoping you’ll feel guilty and help out again. Mom’s not stupid. She knows her pleas or complaints will fall on deaf ears with your siblings. I hate to say it, but don’t help mom because if you don’t maybe she will come to the realization that your siblings do nothing and need to start pitching in.