My whole family, except me and my nana because we hate crowded, loud places, went to this famous market in a beach town a few hours away as a family day out. Beforehand, I mentioned multiple times not to buy me anything and stressed this to them.
Usually what happens is that they always end up buying me to something to “surprise me” however they don’t really understand the things I like and I end up with gifts I don’t like/ have 0 use for, I appreciate the effort and am grateful but this is just them wasting their money and me having to pretend to enjoy the thing to avoid them being upset and saying I’m ungrateful and never pleased.
So I made sure to stress to them that I don’t want anything, and not to buy me anything at all multiple times and explain that that’s what always happens.
They come back and low and behold they decided to buy me something anyways after I begged them not to. An AI generated 3 way 3d picture large framed print of horror movie characters (it’s ugly as hell.) and a rainbow mug that says 100% gay (I happen to be bisexual, not something I made a fundamental part of my identity whatsoever. I was grateful they spent that money and made the effort, but annoyed they ignored my wishes and like always I had to pretend to love these gifts (And now I have to have this large ugly picture in my room).
They’re pissed because it was obvious to them I didn’t genuinely love what they got me and they think I’m ungrateful WHEN I ASKED SPECIFICALLY FOR THEM NOT TO GET ME ANYTHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
AITA?
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My whole family, except me and my nana because we hate crowded, loud places, went to this famous market in a beach town a few hours away as a family day out. Beforehand, I mentioned multiple times not to buy me anything and stressed this to them.
Usually what happens is that they always end up buying me to something to “surprise me” however they don’t really understand the things I like and I end up with gifts I don’t like/ have 0 use for, I appreciate the effort and am grateful but this is just them wasting their money and me having to pretend to enjoy the thing to avoid them being upset and saying I’m ungrateful and never pleased.
So I made sure to stress to them that I don’t want anything, and not to buy me anything at all multiple times and explain that that’s what always happens.
They come back and low and behold they decided to buy me something anyways after I begged them not to. An AI generated 3 way 3d picture large framed print of horror movie characters (it’s ugly as hell.) and a rainbow mug that says 100% gay (I happen to be bisexual, not something I made a fundamental part of my identity whatsoever. I was grateful they spent that money and made the effort, but annoyed they ignored my wishes and like always I had to pretend to love these gifts (And now I have to have this large ugly picture in my room).
They’re pissed because it was obvious to them I didn’t genuinely love what they got me and they think I’m ungrateful WHEN I ASKED SPECIFICALLY FOR THEM NOT TO GET ME ANYTHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t love gifts my family members went out their way to buy me when they had a day out after asking them not to buy me anything, to them I’m an asshole because I came across as ungrateful (I thanked them multiple times) and being hard to please
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
In my opinion NTA. I don’t have this issue when family go places, but with Xmas and birthday gifts.
I always send out a list of items I’d like (useful things). My brother and his wife always get me something random, or something I already own, or something they know I’d never use. Frustrating really.
But yeah NTA
NTA. They say it’s the thought that counts and thats genuinely the issue here, theyre not thinking about what you want. Blatantly ignoring your wishes so they can feel good for getting you something you never wanted isn’t thoughtful
NTA. It took me years to finally get my various family members to realize I was serious when I said “I don’t want presents.” I didn’t need or want miscellaneous crap filling my apartment, and if I needed something, I’d already gotten it. I did say that if they just couldn’t stop themselves, here’s my list of favored charities and go make a donation.
I understand that they want to be “nice” and all that, but at some point they’ve got to be made to understand that you’re serious when you tell them that, and if they’re upset now, they need the lesson.
Mostly NTA. They ignored your wishes and don’t even make an effort to understand what you actually like to surprise you with something you would honestly appreciate.
Now being obviously lying about your appreciation for these things is boderline being an asshole, at this point you may consider just being honest and tell them what you really think of the gifts with no pretense.
NTA but how about instead of telling them to not get you any gifts you tell them, “If you insist, I really enjoy (whatever consumable item you love, wine, nuts, food, etc).” That way it’s a win/win for everyone.