Hey Reddit! I am a 35-year-old vegan woman. I also have 3 children – they are 13, 10, and 8. I often make them nutritional foods (meat, dairy, etc.), since they are still growing and need a lot of vitamins, minerals, carbs, etc., to grow and live a healthy life. My husband and I both agree on this decision, as this is the right thing to do. Recently, I had brunch with my good friend and co-worker, let’s call her Lisa. Lisa is a 32-year-old woman with 1 kid, who is 6. We were chatting about our diets and what we like to eat when Lisa brought her child into this conversation. She is a meat-eater, and she said she often feeds her child roughly the same food I feed my 3 children, just different meals. I told her I also give my kids nutritional food just like hers. After I said that, it looked like she froze – I looked at her in concern, thinking I had said something wrong. After a good minute of sitting there, she then said that she thought I was a vegan. I was confused. “I am, though?” – I said to her. Lisa then said, “Then why do you feed your kids meat, dairy, and eggs?”. I was confused again. Why would she say that? I am not gonna force my diet on my kids who need to grow. I then asked her what she meant by this. Lisa replied by looking at me with a weird and concerned face. After the silence, I said that I wasn’t gonna let my kids grow up weak, just because I didn’t want to “hurt the animals”. As weird as this sounds, she just stood up and left, since we had already eaten and paid before this conversation about diets had started. So, am I the asshole?
AITA for “not feeding my child the correct food”?
r/AITAH
Comments
Nta, you’re a good mother for not imposing your eating style on your children (many others would do that), but you give your children the opportunity to make their own choices and show that we can all have different diets without it burdening others.
Your friend is weird.
You have socially grouped yourself with people who grossly abuse cats by feeding them nothing but rice. Why are you surprised you are getting tarred with the same brush?
NAH.
This is just a weird circumstance of the new wave of veganism. The vast majority of vegans DO force their kids onto the same diet. They even force it on their pets.
Firstly, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for not forcing your diet on your children. That choice needs to be a personal one from their end, and I respect your willingness to cook meat/dairy/non-vegan products for them while refraining from eating them yourself.
NTA. While there is evidence to support that kids can sometimes thrive on vegan diets, the fact is that many people get the balancing of critical nutrients/proteins/vitamins/etc wrong which can lead to deficiencies or medical issues in those children. Raising kids on a balanced diet is always the safer choice over risking nutritional deficiency through trial and error.
Honestly, you’re doing a great thing here. You’re standing by your own morals while refusing to force them on to your family. Your neighbour has no reason to be questioning your choices.
ETA: Thanks for the award, stranger!
Op is the first reasonable vegan I have encountered lo these many years.
You are SO not the asshole, you are a vegan who puts aside your own views in favor of your kids health. You are not forcing your lifestyle on anyone but yourself. If someday when they are adults and they are done with their growing years, they decide to be vegan, then that’s their decision.
I have heard of a newborn dying because some vegan nutjob mother refused to give them her own milk (because it’s from an “animal??”) or formula because it’s not vegan enough…she was giving her baby oat milk, and the baby died literally of starvation.
Thank you for being realistic about what your kids need, AND for letting them make up their own minds when the time is right.
I have no idea what your friend’s problem is, she sounds like a moron.
You’re plant based, not vegan. You do you though. NTA
I’m very confused. I’m not sure I understand. Your friend is a meat eater correct? If not her child is a meat eater right? If one of those is true what is this woman’s problem? Why would a non vegan care that you feed your children meat? Responsible vegans feed their children dairy and meat. You did nothing wrong even if your friend is a vegan.
You sound good in my book. You are aware of your kid’s nutritional needs and don’t push your diet on them. Lisa is an idiot. NTA. If you have any vegan recipes that are good lemme know 🤣
Props to you, I understand you wanting to be vegan/plant based and MASSIVELY respect you for not pushing it on your kids until they’re old enough to choose. Sounds like your neighbor’s just a busybody- keep doing what you do, sounds like you’re doing great honestly 😁
Most vegans arent like this. They force their families, and even their pets, to be vegan too. So its normal for your coworker to be surprised that you arent like that
As a 30 plus year vegan i think I can speak with some authority here. We had our 2 kids and brought them up vegetarian- so meat free but with dairy and eggs. My husband is a meat eater. We would have gone full vegan but it’s a challenge with school and such.
We felt that diet is much like religion, in that in our family this is what we do. When you are old enough to make your own decisions, you can choose. My husband researched extensively the health of children on vegetarian diets and saw an improved outcome when followed correctly. He feels he would be vegetarian if he could give up the meat but can’t, so he believes it’s best for the kids to add it later rather than taking it away.
Both my teen kids are extremely healthy, smart, and have normal weight. Feed your kids how you want to, but please don’t spread the myth that veg*n kids are weak.
This seems like fake AI story. There have been a lot of them posted today. Especially since this story makes zero sense
It is so weird that you chose to be vegan and are so uninformed on vegan nutrition. I am not a vegan, but do eat a plant forward diet and children can easily be vegetarian without any health concerns. With a basic Flintstone vitamin each day they can also be vegan. My kids take a daily Flintstone just because the oldest doesn’t like milk and her pediatrician was concerned about vitamin D. NTA, but it is weird that you would be a vegan and not understand the nutrition side.
Why did you open this account to ask this question? What username do you usually use? The one that was banned.
This is clearly fake. While many vegans feed their child a diet with meat and dairy in it, no actual vegan is going to talk about it this way, acting like kids who don’t eat that stuff are weak and such, a blatant falsehood. I personally wouldn’t impose my diet on my family as I believe it is a personal choice, but this would not be the logic.
I have friends that are all over the map food lifestyle wise. I have cooked all of the different ways. Had a child go vegan for a while( emotional response to finding a dead animal). She was finally able to talk out her feelings and eventually worked her way back to eating meat. I don’t eat grain but am very meat centric ( grass fed since I learned grain fed meat causes the same issues for me) I love eating both vegan and vegetarian though when I am with said friends. My philosophy about food is each to their own. It’s weird when you run into someone like this person. They treat food like a political party that you need to have unswerving loyalty to. I love that you have given your children healthy choices and are also letting them choose their path. Good work and totally NTAH.
NTA and honestly the weirdest interaction I’ve ever heard of. Surely most people would judge a vegan for forcing their diet on their children?? Also you are absolutely correct in what you’re doing. Vegan food is capable of providing almost all the required nutrients a human needs (to my understanding b12 is still an issue from non-animal sources so supplements are needed) but the body has to work harder to extract and utilise a lot of them. Adult humans have finished growing so can make up for the added energy costs by consuming more calories. Children, especially teenagers are already at risk of a calorie deficit due to the amount of changes their bodies are undergoing so to add extra energy requirements will do them no favours. Your friend is being oddly judgy about something that doesn’t impact her in the slightest.
Nta and thank you for understanding that kids often needs more then what most vegan meals can give.
There are always people who want their two cents to matter in how you feed your child, my kid was young and had (temporary) food allergies so I told her she couldn’t have something and a stranger told me I was wrong, I saw red and let this person know exactly what would happen to my kid if they ate that food and went off on her untilxshe left the store. My kids dad chose not to be a parent until our kid was 18 and then was upset because I fed our kid white people food. (I’m white he’s Hispanic) he apparently never realized his mom made and ate white people food.
I do not believe a word of this. There is not a vegan alive who would say that their kids would grow up weak from veganism.
It is possible to be healthy or unhealthy with any eating plan depending on your level of nutritional education.
I don’t understand her reaction at all, especially since she herself is a meat eater. I’ve never heard of a vegan like you that is so supportive of your kids making their own dietary choices, but I think that’s a really great thing that you’re putting your kids health and development first. NTA.
It is possible to have a healthy vegan diet for kids but it’s hard because of their nutritional needs. I understand you’re doing what you think is right for them. I don’t understand why Lisa cares your kids aren’t vegan. Lisa isn’t vegan either so why does it matter to her?
I’m dubious any vegan is this reasonable. But kudos to you if true.
OP, you are a great parent! Vegan parents often get a bad rap for forcing their diets on their kids as soon as they are allowed solids. But you are putting your kids’ health and nutrition first and letting them make their own choices. Well done, and definitely NTA
NTA. I have to admit I thought you were going the opposite direction just by the title but you didn’t. 👏🏻
Fake, only AI would not understand how weird is it that the OP is admitting her vegan diet is so shit it’d be dangerous to feed her own children on it..thats not the kind of self awareness vegans have
Nta. You just blew her mind she’ll need a few days to reboot and then she’ll be fine.
Also A+ parenting, allowing your children to eat what they need to grow and respecting their own food choices. I love and respect that.
Think Lisa had some magic mushrooms with brunch and wasn’t able to process reality
a wide variety of foods is amazing for growing kids.
NTA – Just a good mom
Are you a troll? Because I’m sorry, but “let my kids grow up weak” is some awfully biased language. It’s fully possible to raise a child vegan with all the right nutrients, but it’s bloody hard. Either you’re a troll, a vegan with a poor understanding of nutrition, someone using an unflagged shorthand the above. (I.e. I could but it’s hard enough to be potentially risky)
Your friend is right. You’re not vegan, you’re plant based. There is a difference. Vegan people avoid eating animals on ethics, if your ethics on this have conditions, then you just have a plant based diet.
This post seems so fake. No vegan would feed their kids meat and dairy.
Whenever you have to re-read these posts and ask “wait, what the fuck are they trying to say… and why are they trying to say it…?”
it’s… written by AI.