AITA, Me (31M) and my friends (same age) were all planning to hang out at Kyle’s house. I arrive first before our friends Ben and Garry. I drove Kyle to the grocery store to pick up some food. There are two grocery stores right by his place, one is known to be slightly cheaper. He asked why we weren’t going to the more expensive one and I said “lower prices” and he said “what it’s not that much money”. I was a little annoyed because I thought based on his tone he was implying I was cheap but I just moved on. I replied, “we always split the costs 4 ways and it’s easier getting Ben and Garry to pay if costs are lower”.
We go in the grocery store, I pick up 4 small pizzas and chips, everyone has already agreed to split costs, I paid and everything one will owe me except for Kyle because he is hosting at his place (this is how our friend group normally does it)
We get back to Kyle’s place at 6pm, Ben and Garry will be arriving shortly. We start cooking pizzas 1 at a time in a small oven. Kyle’s two small children aged 5 and 3 start saying they want pizza. Kyle asks me if the kids can have some of the pizza for their dinner. I say that I bought enough only for 4 adults, and since we are cooking them one at a time and 4 adults sharing pizzas as they are ready, the kids will have to eat something else. I would had a different opinion if all 4 pizzas were done at once and we all take equal amounts, then Kyle is free to do what he wants with his allocated amount, but I thought it was unfair that Ben Garry and myself would have less pizza because Kyle wanted to give pizza to his kid. Plus we were just at the grocery store and Kyle could have bought anything for his kids but bought nothing. Kyle’s fridge and pantry are well stocked (he makes above average income)
I felt bad since I like Kyle’s family and spend a lot of time at his place. Kyle looked surprised but not upset. Kyle’s wife was angry but did not yell “I can’t believe you won’t give my kids any food”, she had not cooked any dinner for her kids or herself yet which is what she would normally do when the guys hang out at Kyle’s place. I have never seen any of my friends ever feed Kyle’s kids. Kyle said “the kids don’t eat that much”. I told them both it’s not my responsibility to feed your kids and we could have bought more pizza but I bought enough based on my experience of the 4 guys hanging out.
Kyle’s wife was upset and stormed out saying she was going to the grocery store. She came back with the exact same brand of pizza, and the 2 kids really did eat very little pizza for dinner. I actually don’t have kids myself and never paid attention to the amount they would eat.
I feel bad now since it was Kyle’s house and his kids actually ate very little pizza. But I don’t want to set a precedent that I am feeding their kids. Ben and Garry heard the story and they didn’t take sides. I feel bad for not just throwing them a slice of pizza. I don’t think Kyle or his wife is holding a grudge. AITA?
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AITA, Me (31M) and my friends (same age) were all planning to hang out at Kyle’s house. I arrive first before our friends Ben and Garry. I drove Kyle to the grocery store to pick up some food. There are two grocery stores right by his place, one is known to be slightly cheaper. He asked why we weren’t going to the more expensive one and I said “lower prices” and he said “what it’s not that much money”. I was a little annoyed because I thought based on his tone he was implying I was cheap but I just moved on. I replied, “we always split the costs 4 ways and it’s easier getting Ben and Garry to pay if costs are lower”.
We go in the grocery store, I pick up 4 small pizzas and chips, everyone has already agreed to split costs, I paid and everything one will owe me except for Kyle because he is hosting at his place (this is how our friend group normally does it)
We get back to Kyle’s place at 6pm, Ben and Garry will be arriving shortly. We start cooking pizzas 1 at a time in a small oven. Kyle’s two small children aged 5 and 3 start saying they want pizza. Kyle asks me if the kids can have some of the pizza for their dinner. I say that I bought enough only for 4 adults, and since we are cooking them one at a time and 4 adults sharing pizzas as they are ready, the kids will have to eat something else. I would had a different opinion if all 4 pizzas were done at once and we all take equal amounts, then Kyle is free to do what he wants with his allocated amount, but I thought it was unfair that Ben Garry and myself would have less pizza because Kyle wanted to give pizza to his kid. Plus we were just at the grocery store and Kyle could have bought anything for his kids but bought nothing. Kyle’s fridge and pantry are well stocked (he makes above average income)
I felt bad since I like Kyle’s family and spend a lot of time at his place. Kyle looked surprised but not upset. Kyle’s wife was angry but did not yell “I can’t believe you won’t give my kids any food”, she had not cooked any dinner for her kids or herself yet which is what she would normally do when the guys hang out at Kyle’s place. I have never seen any of my friends ever feed Kyle’s kids. Kyle said “the kids don’t eat that much”. I told them both it’s not my responsibility to feed your kids and we could have bought more pizza but I bought enough based on my experience of the 4 guys hanging out.
Kyle’s wife was upset and stormed out saying she was going to the grocery store. She came back with the exact same brand of pizza, and the 2 kids really did eat very little pizza for dinner. I actually don’t have kids myself and never paid attention to the amount they would eat.
I feel bad now since it was Kyle’s house and his kids actually ate very little pizza. But I don’t want to set a precedent that I am feeding their kids. Ben and Garry heard the story and they didn’t take sides. I feel bad for not just throwing them a slice of pizza. I don’t think Kyle or his wife is holding a grudge. AITA?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
ESH. Why didn’t you buy food for all the guests? The kids are guests, right? This seems like common sense. If you were splitting costs, why didn’t each of your pay in based on the number of guests they brought?
Sounds like a Kyle problem. NTA.
ETA – he was in the store. He should have grabbed food for his family while there but he didn’t think about it.
How badly did you need the entirety of that pizza? Badly enough to damage a friendship?
What a miserly society America is! I have never seen so much penny pinching about food anywhere else in the world. I cant figure if it is economic depravity or just the nature of this society!
This cannot be real. The only way this would make any sense is if you are on the spectrum and have difficulties with social cues and being flexible. If you are not ND and are this pedantic and inflexible, then YTA.
ESH for sure. Kyle didn’t have the foresight to think of his wife and children when hosting a gathering in his own house? Really? But for the rest of you, you’re hanging out at someone’s house, and you’re uncomfortable “setting a precedent” feeding their wife and kids. What is wrong with y’all? It’s a completely bizarre situation, but you all suck, except the poor wife and kids, who have to put up with thoughtless Kyle and his thoughtless friends.
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nta
Jesus christ they are kids, share your goddamn food. YTA
ESH. They were at their own home and could have fed their kids something else.
But kids those ages don’t eat a lot, maybe a couple slices so I don’t think any of the adults would have starved if a few slices were given to the kids out of 4 whole pizzas. It seemed like a weird hill for you to die on.
Wow. I mean, you’re technically NTA since feeding someone else’s children isn’t technically your responsibility. But jesus, I cannot imagine cooking pizza in someone else’s home and then telling them they can’t have any.
ESH. Why is pizza the hill to die on? Kyle should have thought ahead about the kids wanting pizza as soon as they see there is pizza, but you should have done your friend a solid and took a small slice from each pie for the kids.
The mom shouldn’t have been so hard on you, but she had been put in a spot where she now has to deal with two whining kids.
Complaining kids are a great way to tick off a mom and ruin the evening for everyone else.
And to be clear, I don’t consider the kids part of the ESH. They’re 3 & 5. They did what most other kids that age would do.
ESH. you all are grown ass adults and you cant provide for the children or think about anyone else but yourselves?
NTA, their kids are their responsibility and he was at the store and had a chance to get them food and didn’t.
NTA why wouldn’t Kyle just get food for his kids? It’s ridiculous for him to get mad at YOU for not sharing your food.
nah you’re not the a-hole, you planned for 4 adults, not a family dinner. they had a whole stocked kitchen and were just unprepared. throwing a slice their way would’ve been nice, sure, but it’s not your job to feed someone else’s kids when y’all agreed on splitting food between friends.
NTA.
Kyle is the parent. He was at the store with you and could’ve bought food for his kids.
Kyle’s wife usually cooks for her and the kids when all of you are at his house, so why didn’t she?
The pantry and fridge were stocked, so why couldn’t the PARENTS make them something to eat?
Info: I’m not following your reasoning. If you bought four pizzas for four adults, then each of you is allocated one pizza. You don’t have to wait for them all to be cooked to figure out that four pizzas for four adults = one pizza per person. Why not give Kyle the first pizza out of the oven and say, “Here, this one can be yours- go ahead and share with your kids”?
Kids are people. So I would have assumed they needed to eat too. Plus kids love pizza. But it’s HIS house he should have made that clear at the store lol. At my house we feed everybody’s kids!! But females think of these things so ESH
What an odd group of adults ESH
ESH (You and Kyle). Kyle should’ve thought of his own kids while he was at the grocery store with you and purchased an extra pizza, but damn, it takes a special kind of asshole to not give little kids a slice of pizza when they ask. You would not have starved if you gave them a little.
I’m astonished at how cheap everyone in this story appears to be – except the kids. Do you guys even like each other? It’s grocery store pizza. Who doesn’t buy an extra pie or three for hangout food in that circumstance? Then there is plenty of pizza for everyone who wants it. ESH.
NTA If it’s not the norm then you don’t need to do it. They’re their kids they should have thought of them themselves. Moochers gonna mooch. Don’t fall for it!
ESH, he should have thought of his kiddos but you aren’t setting precedents by sharing food with children once in a blue moon.
Everyone the a-hole I mean. Kyle should have def bought his kids food. He’s not dumb. But your at someone else house weird to argue over something so little.
Like really you can’t share with actual children. Also, if Kyle‘s fridge and pantry was filled like you said. How hard would it have been to be like oh why don’t we make something along with the pizzas so everybody can eat. Like a salad or something else!
NTA but you’ll find flexibility in life makes things easier and less awkward. You could have given kids a whole pizza and found something else to snack on. I mean don’t be so rigid.
I can’t imagine not having discussed this at the store or on the way to the store.
A hundred percent you should have budgeted an extra pizza for the other people in the house.
I can’t imagine bringing food to a friend’s place and saying – no, it’s just for you. Your children should starve.
Especially if it’s ice cream or pizza.
YTA
If you got 4 pizzas for 4 guys, just let Kyle feed his kids from his pizza and you, Ben and Garry still have one each. How was that not considered?
ESH Kyle and his wife are the assholes for not asking beforehand – planned what the kids are going to eat. You’re the asshole for not wanting to share with the kids regardless from what their parents did. It’s just rude and egotistical
INFO, mainly just so I can wrap my head around this. How big are these pizzas?
Are we talking little Red Baron, personal pizzas, that you could potentially microwave? Are we talking Digourno sized, could realistically feed 3 people, pizza?
If Kyle has a car, and the grocery stores are so close, why couldn’t he just go out and get another one for his family to share while you’re cooking one?
Why didn’t Kyle share some of HIS pizza with HIS kids? He should know how much they eat, but maybe not because his wife does it.
You all bought chips as well, would one slice from two pizzas (or two from Kyle’s) really have made a big difference? Subsidize with the other snacks from his ‘stocked pantry’.
Why are we dealing with frozen pizzas? Just buy 3 fresh pizzas. The savings can’t be that different and you wouldn’t have to do this weird oven thing. You could actually eat fresh and hot pizza at the same time!
Probably not supposed to say this, but this just seems all around dumb. ESH except the kids because they are the only ones seemingly acting the age they are. Wild.
YTA. Don’t expect Kyle to host any more hangouts at his house.
Just throw them 1 slice each, and the 4 of you can split 2 slices.
Oh they’re definitely holding a grudge, believe that. Especially his wife. But in all honesty you could have just given them a slice of pizza and sent them on. The rest of you would have been just fine with two slices of pizza missing. It’s not nearly as deep as you made it to be. Can’t ride with you on this one. You were definitely an A-hole for that
YTA and deeply weird. Like, feed hungry kids, man. What is wrong with you?
YTA to hang out with people and not include their children. I don’t even understand how yall could stay friends. I think you’re too selfish for this friendship honestly. If I’m going to a place that I know will have kids I always include them.
YTA but so is everyone else. Kyle should’ve asked you to pick up pizzas for his kids as he should’ve assumed they’d probably want that instead of what they could’ve had. You could’ve asked Kyle how many pizzas should you pick up knowing he’s got additional people (but then also expecting he should pay for those extra people)
YTA, you seriously were not willing to spare a slice of pizza per kid? also what in the totinos pizza? it had to be cheap pizza because even red baron runs about the same as a basic cheese or pepperoni Little Caesars pizza.
What kind of father goes to the grocery store to get snacks for his friends coming over, but doesn’t think about what he’s gonna feed his kids for dinner?
YTA if you’re going somewhere there is a family, always bring extras. You never know when wife or kids will want something. And kids love pizza.
You are NTA…
This is on Kyle and his wife.
They are the parents…it’s their responsibility to feed the kids
You said Small pizzas, were they like little Totino’s pizza?
NTA – Feeding a 3 and 5 year old is really a mixed bag. You could end up with them eating a tiny slice or eating a whole pizza to themselves. I once went to a restaurant and my kid wanted the nacho platter, it is huge! So I decided we could split it and the table gets chips and salsa so we could eat some of that to. My kid at 7 years old ate almost the entire plate of steak nachos. I got like 5 chips and I felt like I was risking my life eating those.
And it isn’t like he didn’t know he had kids. He should’ve bought them a pizza himself to cook for them. I noticed you said he didn’t pay for what you got so he just wanted a free meal for himself and his kids. What if his wife wanted pizza too? Would he expect you guys to feed his whole family?
Kyle could’ve given them pizza from his own pizza if it was that important. That’s what parents do. He could always eat something else since he was at his home. Expecting your guests to give up their own food for your kids is not how a good host acts.
Personally if I’m going to hang out at my best friend’s house and I know he has kids I’m just going to pick up another pizza for them anyway. And probably a few snacks to go with it. If we’re that close those kids probably look at me like an uncle anyway
YTA. I can understand deciding to split food costs but excusing the person hosting, but if you’re going to someone’s house and they have a family it should be common sense to get enough food for everyone in the household. The wife and kids are your hosts too as they are also allowing you to be in their home but you won’t feed them? Sounds like Kyle is right about you being cheap. It wouldn’t surprise me if he stops opening his home to you guys now that he sees how selfish you all are. Imo you either get food for everyone or no one. Anyone saying otherwise is ridiculous.
nah you’re not the ah, you planned for 4 grown dudes, not a daycare. they had every chance to grab food for the kids, that’s on them. giving a slice would’ve been chill but not your job to feed someone else’s kids on guy’s night.
ESH. Everyone here is cheap and petty. Kyle should have thought of the kids while you were at the store, but if you’ve got a whole pizza for each adult you can certainly spare a little for the kids, and if his house is well stocked you can supplement with sides and snacks if needed.
NTA, not in your budget to pay for food for them and you said their pantry was stocked and the wife usually cooks for the kids. Not your problem
Wow. YTA. You have ABSOLUTELY NO EQ. Like, you’re cooking pizza in someone else’s house. You hang out that all the time. You’re fighting them over some pizza?
You mentioned that the grocery store is nearby, then just go again??? Like solve the issue, not be self-righteous and all up in your own ass. Ffs.
If this is the hill you believe is worth dying on, you really have no idea how life or friendships work. Omfg.
ESH
What is wrong with each and every one of you???
Why is ‘Kyle’ hosting people at his home without making any plan for the dinner or arranging for his wife and children to make their own dinner plan? Why does he need you to take him to the grocery store to buy pizzas? It is such a strange errand to do together. Why is Kyle hosting at all when there are four of you and he is the one with a family?
Why did you begrudge his children some pizza? And what is this pizza you bought? Why wouldn’t you get good pizza from the pizzeria? Why are you charging your other friends for their share of pizza instead of taking turns treating each other.
What is even happening here?
I would not have handled it like you did.
I don’t know about you, but if I was constantly hanging out at someone home, ” all the time”, using all of their amenities, I would have taken it upon myself to get a little extra for the kids,,I mean they are 5 and 3. My daughter is 4 and she is stuffed off of one slice. This is not a big deal. If u guys always hang out at their house and provide the food, because they provide your comfort, the kids are part of that equation.
Congratulations on most likely never being invited back to Kyle’s. You’re cooking 4 pizzas in his house and don’t include 2 little kids? You planned to eat it in front of them and not offer to include them? You’re selfish, cheap, and obtuse. I guarantee you his wife and him will be having a discussion as to how your friendship is going to look going forward, so don’t be surprised if you’re not welcome in their lives going forward. Yta
Yes, common sense should have told you that it would have been less than one slice from each person’s pizza. But,Kyle should not have asked and just taken some pizza. Or said something when you guys were at the store. I think you were also ridiculous with your tone and attitude. You should apologize.
ESH. Your friend’s a jerk for calling you cheap. And you are too for not letting the kids eat pizza. You’re 31. Is money really so tight that you can’t afford to be out a slice of pizza or two? Your extra slice was more important to you than your friend’s wife being able to stay at home and enjoy your visit? I wouldn’t expect her to ok to inviting you over anymore.
Not your kids, not your mouths to feed.
Although I’d never let kids not eat whatever is being cooked, Kyle and his wife should’ve been prepared to feed their kids.
YTA. Kids tummys come first bro
YTA. There is a time to suck it up, and this was the time.
NTA listen, bub, the wife always handles it, Kyyyyyle never mentioned one fucking thing about it until after getting home, so they are the assholes here. You need to tell them as such. Point and call each one an asshole.
INFO
> I pick up 4 small pizzas
Why?
> We start cooking pizzas 1 at a time in a small oven.
NGL, I am picturing this gathering and am finding it SO bizarre.
Frozen pizzas tend to be about convenience — you have one sitting around in your freezer, and can pull it out and make it at a moment’s notice. If this is a planned group gathering, and you’re explicitly going out to get food for it, why not just pick up fresh pizza?
Why does EVERYONE here need their own tiny-ass pizza? Do you all insist on toppings that are just unpalatable to the rest of the group?
NTA The onus was on the dad who was at the supermarket with OP to anticipate something like this, not on OP and the other friends to give up part of their meal because the kids suddenly wanted pizza having seen it.
Dad should have bought them their share if this was predictable or jumped in himself to head them off; failing that, dad or mom could have offered to make up for the loss of food in some way, either by cooking or going to buy extra.
Surely the parents knew that just enough for the adults’ dinner had been bought. There was only a small pizza for each adult, not a pizza buffet laid out on the table. Besides, why weren’t the kids’ needs considered by the parents in the first place? Obviously they would want to eat after seeing the adults prepare pizza.
The parents shouldn’t have put OP in the position of going without a proper meal or having to say no.
While I think ESH I feel like Kyle is the biggest AH. Did he magically forget that he had kids at the grocery store??
I also think that your group of four should have planned to feed the wife and kids OR that Kyle should have sent the kids to a grandparents house or organized a play date so his kids wouldn’t be effected by having a lil man party at his house.
YTA
No offense, but you’re at their house. Using their oven. Telling their kids they can’t have pizza? I understand it is not your responsibility to feed or even consider their kids… but they are just hungry kids asking for a slice of pizza. As a mom I feel I would have more compassion and I do understand that when you don’t have kids of your own the POV is just different. But most people, parents or not, are gonna put (any) kid’s needs above their own.
I feel like maybe you were right on paper. But you should take family, friendship, feelings, into consideration instead of being “right” , because now you look like TA and may have ruined those hang outs over a few dollars and a few slices of pizza.
This father is so bad at his job that’s embarrassing. I feel bad for the mother.
It’s obvious that if there are pizzas the children will want pizza. Sounds like in his head it was the boy’s night and the wife and children don’t exist anymore. To me the obvious output would have been he pays for his wife’s, his children and his pizzas. You pay for the rest and split (why not adding his).
Mistakes happens ok but then he should have fixed it and gone to the shop buy some more while his kids ate his or whatever, maybe let his kids eat on his.
I think you definitely could have been nicer though.
It was his fault and it sound like he apologised to no one.
I’m struggling to put a NTA here but here we go
YTA, they are kids and they live there. If it was such a big deal, get more.
I think you all deserve each other.
ESH, they could have shared the pizza with the kids and then supplemented the meal with food from the stocked pantry.
Kyle and his wife could’ve used this as a teachable moment and explain to their children that these particular pizzas were for the guests of the house. Then made them their normal dinner.
Probably the last get together again at Kyle’s for the foreseeable future.
NTA
Kyle is the parent and could have TOLD you on the grocery trip “hey, I should probably get enough for my kids” and bought it himself.
Kyle’s wife is also the parent and should have fed her kids.
Other adults should not be responsible for feeding anyone’s kids unless in extreme circumstances.
YTA. You are making pizza in front of kids and not letting them eat any? WTF?
It sounds like tradition in your group is that guests provide the food. You failed to provide the food. Just because Kyle has a bigger family than others doesn’t mean they shouldn’t all get food.
I’ve never been to a gathering where each family is allocated equal amounts of food and have to divide among themselves. Everyone gets fed and if portions are tight then have an equal slice count for everyone.
This all sounds ridiculously cheap and petty.
ESH. Them for calling you cheap, YOU for not feeding little kids! Nevermind the kids live there, don’t they?
Seriously, all this drama over grocery-store pizza? Yeesh…
ESH – Kyle for not buying pizza for his kids when you were at the grocery, and you for not sharing a few pieces of pizza with the kids.
Don’t expect an invite back….IMO you’re rude AND extremely cheap.
Ewwww all of you. Ewwww
Honest question: do you have an autism diagnosis? This is autistic thinking. Yes, rationally you are correct in that adding two small kids to the meal would reduce overall servings, but by mentioning it you were socially breaking a small expectation. Not rule.
Expectation that you be slightly flexible with portions when small children are involved. And flexible when a good buddy is involved, because the friend is worth more than the lost pizza. Edited to add judgement.
Soft YTA
YTA. A huge one.
Because the home is also wife’s and kids’ home, they too are hosting. If the norm is to buy the host dinner, they should be included in the food purchase.
Why do you need to convince the friends to pay if there is already an agreement? Maybe set a budget together so everyone is comfortable with costs. Or change to a more traditional setup where the host provides the food and that rotates?
Partially the AH! I’m not going to give it to you 100% because wife could have cooked for her own kids as she already knew this was yall night, both mom and dad should had already had the kids situated as a matter of fact. They should have never been able to come to the kitchen and ask for anything. Also Kyle could have given his kids slices of his pizza to have less food. However, anyone without kids do not know that kids tummies are small and you can literally give them a bite and they are out of your face. I personally would have given the kids a slice each, however I would have felt a way about it cause I’m not here to feed your family I’m here to hang out with the fellas. Now here’s where I’m giving you partially the AH I’m a kind person and a giver, you on the other hand after this doesn’t seem like you care about friends kids and that you tunnel vision only on what you are there for, not a giver, and may be very frugal. It wouldn’t have hurt to give them one slice to share again dad could have done this without even asking you to give them any at all. Little kids eat very small and a person without kids most times are very; how do I put it, “selfish” and rightfully so. This just tells me you might be a cheap man irl, but I totally understand going to cheaper places to save because others won’t pay. Again seems like you may have an issue when it comes to being generous, kind or just giving from the kindness of your heart. Took me many years to realize that some men just don’t have the kindness of the heart and that’s ok too people just need to know how to love around you once they find out. Almost makes me think the girl you dating or may date in the future might want to pay attention to these actions. Now the bone I have to pick is why can’t people stand on business with what they did or said. If you didn’t want to give the kids food why feel bad now? This is why i believe it’s always best to think before you respond. A response of “let’s see how much is left after feeding the adults. I’m sure a slice or two we can spare” could have been a better response and not made you feel bad. This thought process usually comes after you’ve had time to think. So Partially the asshole. Had you stood in business with your choice and not let your emotions take over or overthinking this post wouldn’t have been written.
YTA. You sound stingy af. I would be shocked if my friends act like you. I bet they are forever going to remember you as the stingy friend.
They had a fully stocked kitchen, if you’re that worried that you only just barely have enough pizza for four adults only, you could have asked if your buddy would throw something in that would pair well with the pizza to balance it out (like a bag of chips, some baby carrots, whatever would work as an easy side and pair well).
Eating pizza in front of kids and not letting the kids have any is 100% a dick move. It’s reasonable to want to make sure everyone has enough to eat, but if you were that worried that the pizzas were too small to share all you had to do was ask if he had something to supplement (since according to your own account, he definitely would have had something). YTA
YTA
YTA. Kids eat first.
Your friend and his wife may have had food in the house for the kids, but when the kids knew there was pizza, they wanted that. Your friends had to make a choice, give them pizza to keep the peace while they had guests, or say no and deal with a toddler meltdown while friends are over. They asked to share pizza to help make your time there more enjoyable.
But here’s the real crux of the issue:
>I felt bad since I like Kyle’s family and spend a lot of time at his place.
If you spend a lot of time there, you use his water, his electricity, he opens his home to you and your friends to socialize. He’s never given you a drink or snack out of the stuff he’s paid for? Kyle or his wife have never had to clean up a mess, even accidental, you’ve made? Or washed the dishes you ate off of? Maybe even just needed to vacuum or wipe down a counter top a little more frequently. It may not be your responsibility to feed his kids, but it’s not his responsibility to host you either.
You didn’t want to share in the name of equality, but things already aren’t equal. A couple of slices of pizza for the kids shouldn’t have been as big of a deal as you made it. YTA
Ummm yeah YTA a huge one. You planned to eat pizza in their face, IN THEIR HOUSE?? And not offer two small children??? They would’ve been full of a slice each. You’re a horrible friend and a cheap stingy person. Holy fuck. You suck. You were buying pizza for everyone. Are children not people for you? I can’t believe what I just read lol yeah YTA a huge huge rude ah “not my responsibility to feed his kids” FFS
YTA. If kids were going to be around, you get food for them.
You all sound cheap… was it too hard to just order 3 large pizzas for delivery for all of you? Heck even 2? I don’t understand buying 4 small pizzas.. then going to a close friend’s house that you supposedly spend a lot of time with, calling their oven small and thinking his own family wouldn’t eat.
YTA. It’s annoying but it’s not that deep. You likely damaged your friendship over 2 slices of pizza. If you were hanging at my house and couldn’t just hand over 2 slices of pizza for my kids I wouldn’t invite you back. How are you this clueless that you held your ground here. You seriously suck
Kyle is the AH. He should have bought food for his family. He didn’t even think about it the whole trip to the store!
YTA. Of course if you’re cooking pizza kids will want some. I’m trying to figure out how you didn’t realize if your were hanging out at your friends house eating pizza you didn’t think to buy enough for the kids and his wife.
NTA you went to the store with kyle he should have gotten food for his kids or said words at the store so that you could have gotten enough pizza for the kids and the adults
I actually would be even more upset if I got less pizza AND the kid wasted their portion that was the reason I didn’t get enough pizza. I wouldn’t SAY anything. But I’d have feelings.
YTA if you are providing dinner for the host that includes everybody that lives in the house. Two pieces of pizza out of four entire pieces is not gonna starve a grown man. Don’t be surprised if you don’t get an invite moving forward.
This honestly reminds me of a relative who’s on the spectrum who would rather eat a day old salad, if that’s what he had planned to eat, than a three course feast the rest of us in the group spontaneously decided to throw together – that came as a surprise to him. He’s not ungenerous, but when it comes to food he’s Inflexible and just a bit… weird. I would have shared the pizza and then (if people were still hungry) asked your host to supplement it with salad, or whatever. I would react the same way if another adult would show up at the table – I would pull up a chair, make smaller slices of the pizza and find ways to make everyone feel welcome. Cooking and eating dinner together is – for me- more about having fun, bonding, having a good time and making memories than making sure everyone gets to digest a full amount of calories of a certain dish.
ESH
I get not wanting to be burdened with footing things that aren’t your responsibility but common decency is like out the window with today’s day in age. There’s a balance between “I only need to pay for me”, and “I’m not paying for everyone, that’s not my responsibility”. The level of individualism has reached is too superficial for me and people act like it shouldn’t affect morals and relationships but it does. Why would someone I call my friend not want to share any food with my children. At the same time, why is Kyle leaving the burden of feeding his children on you? At that point I would have just ordered pizza or KFC. I can’t believe you guys are over 30 hanging at someone’s house who is married with two kids and penny pinching grocery bought pizzas. At that point I would be making dinners if that’s your realistic budget. I also never host or hang with friends and make exact meals. What if people get hungry? A reasonable amount of leftovers should be available.
Honestly your chill session sounds like some stuff a broke college kid would be doing not a group of 30+men.
He probably isn’t going to invite you over again.
ESH- he and his wife should have planned dinner for their kids but you also could have given up a single slice and were being ridiculous. It was made worse by the fact that you could tell that your hosts were upset about it, but you just doubled down- I bet that was an awkward evening.
I have no kids, I don’t want kids, I could never eat in front of a child I knew without giving them a bite or a piece. If your bratty kid comes up and demands my food that’s a different story, but of course kids want some pizza. Anytime I go to a friend’s house for a meal I ask what the kids are eating and if they need me to pick anything up. It’s called planning ahead. Huge YTA and if you did that to my niece or nephew you’d never hear from me again.
ESH. It sounds like none of you even like each other. What a weird, awkward hangout.
You are at his house. You know he has a wife and kids so why weren’t they automatically included? I personally would go without pizza and feed the kids. Kindness costs so little. ESH but especially you OP.
Lol what the heck. How are you gonna go to someone’s house cook in their kitchen (one tiny pizza at a time 😄) and then refuse to give their children a slice?
None of it makes sense. Why didn’t Kyle think of his wife and kids being hungry and why didn’t you guys just order fresh pizza enough for everyone!!?
ESH
You wrote a ton of words so u really wanted to sway. I didn’t even finish it but ur TA. Be a grown up, gove the kids some pizza. Jfc.
ALWAYS feed the children. Period.
Kids are always going to want food if its around and someone has it.
Esh your friend should have thought of his kids but 2 kid sized pieces weren’t going to cause 4 grown men to starve
Just a perspective from a mom:
We used to get big kid groups together to go bowling. All the adults would pay their way. Then, we’d add up the cost for all the kids and split it evenly between the adults because some of us would even bring nieces and nephews. Since those kids didn’t have any money and couldn’t help that their parents wouldn’t chip in, none of us could live with ourselves if we left one of them out. We would then go out to eat and we would just even out the kids on each bill.
Asshole? Maybe not. Socially awkward? I think so. I was raised that you don’t eat in front of others. You either split what you have, bring enough for everyone, or you don’t eat. Those kids probably see you as an uncle at this point, and it may have even hurt their feelings that you didn’t share. Remember, kids are always drilled with “sharing is caring”
I’m a little on the fence, but I’m going with ESH. Kyle is more of an AH, it’s weird that he didn’t plan for his kids. But you had a solution right in front of you: give Kyle his pizza and let him share with his kids. I get that you don’t know how much kids eat, but did you really expect a 3 and 5 year old to have more than a slice?
You are acting like a 12 y Old – have some manners and be a good quest.
YTA. I can’t imagine not feeding my friends’ kids if they were hungry. It doesn’t matter if it is your responsibility or not, these are supposed to be people you care about.
NTA Kyle should have thought of his kids when it came to pizza