My friend, my parents, and a few other people were at a concert a little while ago, and I decided to go up to the bar because it was hot as Satan’s asshole. I get myself a ginger ale because I didn’t feel like drinking that day, and my friend doesn’t ask for anything, so I just assume they will get something for themself later.
About twenty minutes later, they starts acting like they are about to die. I pull them to the side and ask them what’s wrong. Mind you, they have not told me they wanted a drink or wanted anything from me the whole time we were there.
They say- “I’m thirsty, but I don’t have any money!” So I offer to take them back to the car where I have water bottles in the trunk specifically for times like these. They say they don’t want water, they want a drink. I tell them to fuck off because if they really are thirsty, they shouldn’t be so picky about what to drink.
They ended up spending the rest of the show (three hours) pouting outside because I didn’t buy them a ginger ale.
Summary: didn’t buy my friend a drink because they were thirsty since they were refusing water from my car.
My car water feels offended 🙁
Comments
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My friend, my parents, and a few other people were at a concert a little while ago, and I decided to go up to the bar because it was hot as Satan’s asshole. I get myself a ginger ale because I didn’t feel like drinking that day, and my friend doesn’t ask for anything, so I just assume they will get something for themself later.
About twenty minutes later, they starts acting like they are about to die. I pull them to the side and ask them what’s wrong. Mind you, they have not told me they wanted a drink or wanted anything from me the whole time we were there.
They say- “I’m thirsty, but I don’t have any money!” So I offer to take them back to the car where I have water bottles in the trunk specifically for times like these. They say they don’t want water, they want a drink. I tell them to fuck off because if they really are thirsty, they shouldn’t be so picky about what to drink.
They ended up spending the rest of the show (three hours) pouting outside because I didn’t buy them a ginger ale.
Summary: didn’t buy my friend a drink because they were thirsty since they were refusing water from my car.
My car water feels offended 🙁
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- told them to piss off after they denied my water, made them upset with me, and instead of comforting them outside spent the rest of the show inside
2- they are a friend, and I should’ve just gotten them the drink instead of making a scene at the bar and making them upset with me, resulting in them storming out outside.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
INFO does this friend often not pay you back or something? Why couldn’t you have gotten a ginger ale? What was the issue?
NTA – you are not a bank. You offered them water.
NTA because you were only getting something for yourself and not the group. In general, it’s polite to ask if a friend wants anything if you’re heading to the bar, but their reaction was dramatic and entitled (especially if they didn’t have money to pay you back and refused water!)
Technically, NTA because them did not ask to buy them drink. However, people usually ask if their companions want something to drink when heading to buy a drink for themselves. Especially if those your friend or gf.
NTA, but it’s kind of a no brainer to get someone else a drink when you’re leaving a crowded area like a concert and they’re holding your spot.
I assume since you were there with your parents, you were in some capacity, tacit or explicit, hosting your friend, regardless of who paid for their ticket. Offering hot car water that you have to leave the venue to fetch was not hospitable. Telling your friend to fuck off for not wanting hot car water was not kind. Realizing your friend has no money and not floating them five bucks for a soda when it was ‘hot as Satan’s asshole’ was boorish. Your friend is a light AH for pouting outside but I can see their point. You were by far the biggest offender because your behavior was offensive while theirs was merely petulant. I assume you are young; I hope you take a lesson in empathy and generosity in this. YTA.
Did they want a drink (with alcohol) or a drink like you got (ginger ale)? It would’ve been polite to ask if they wanted a soda, unless they’re the sort who never bring money because that’s what friends are for.
But anyway, NTA. They weren’t thirsty, or otherwise they would’ve taken the water.
Also, if you’re going someplace with friends and don’t have money to pay your own way, it’s polite to let your friends know that in advance rather than just expecting that they’ve brought/have enough cover whatever you want or need.
Who shows up to a concert with no money/wallet? NTA
NTA. You got a drink, it’s not an obligation to get the friend anything. Is it polite to ask? Yes. It’s also polite to pay people back when they buy things for you, which as per your comments this person doesn’t do. So, nope, absolutely NTA.
I would add the them never paying you back on the OP, in case anyone goes “oh but it’s your frieeendd!”
NTA, “Ooohhh, I’m sooo thirsty but brought no money 🙁 “, who is this child you are friends with? They should have brought money, like functional adults.
NTA, them declining the water reveals they just wanted to sponge off you.
See, when people are actually thirsty, they will drink even warm water from the car.
Yes I know you said yours is cold but my point is people in genuine need don’t get too picky.
Yta
NTA. You weren’t buying a ginger ale with the intention of buying something for everyone else and you aren’t obligated to. If they had money, they should’ve bought a dri k themselves. If they were as thirsty as they said, then water would’ve been the most logical option to prevent any heat-related illness or dehydration. It seems like they were just trying to use your money.
Won’t even buy your friend a soda. You soundl like a shitty friend.
NTA. From comments they wanted an alcoholic drink and wanted you to pay for it. With a history of never paying someone back, I’d be way less likely to offer that either. You weren’t even drinking, why should you pay for someone else to?
You’re not a mind reader. NTA.
Another pertinent question : Do you make considerably more income than your friend or your parents? Is your friend actually your girlfriend? A yes answer to these questions would mean that you should have asked if they wanted anything, and paid for it. But it would have been appropriate to not provide cocktails or alcohol. Drinks.
Eh, ESH?
EDITED after reading more of OP comments. Still saying ESH.
You- for refusing to buy a friend a cool drink at a concert. Expecting someone to walk out to parking lot missing the show to drink warm ass water. Also for leaving out all the key important details that will change how this story actually went. I also don’t believe the car water was cold based on how water bottles sitting in hot cars work.
Your friend also TAH- for being a mooch, never paying you back or covering you and for going to convert without any money, probably on purpose, so someone else buys. So I guess they are the bigger AH here for expecting and mooching.
Why bother ever hanging out with this person or caking them a friend? If they suck, don’t hang out or engage.
My original comment: leaving just for the sake of OP reading it and they understand why they get opposing opinions.
No one leaves in the middle of a concert to walk all the way across the fairground to the parking lot to go to the car to drink a swig of hot car water. They wanted a cool drink right there at the venue without having to leave. I get they should have brought some spending money, and shouldn’t expect you to buy them a drink.
But I’ve never once in my life hang out with a friend who said “I’m thirsty but I don’t have any money today” and refused to buy them a soda or a cold water – I’d offer to buy them one also.
You started this story with the phrasing “didn’t ask for one and didn’t say she was thristy” that’s why you didn’t buy one. But then once you found out they were thirsty your only offer was hot water from the car a good 30 min detour walking to car and back away from the concert. Which by the time you get back to concert you’re thirsty again and can’t bring outside drinks into the venue. Your solution is barely a solution. And I believe that friends buy each other drinks without being mean or petty about it. And your friend didn’t mooch off you and demand a drink upfront, they waited until you like dragged it out of them they needed one/ were thirsty.
They way you wrote the post it sounds like “if they had asked you to get a drink when you got one you would have – but since they didn’t ask you didn’t” so why it is ok to buy them a drink earlier, but later when it matters more you say naw f that you can drink hot water from the car? A lot of venues won’t let you reenter either. Or now you’re missing parts of the show if you can.