Last night my (F26) shower knob broke off while I was going to turn it on, as this happened, water began spraying out of the knob and into the tub (thankfully my drain didn’t overflow and flood) but I had zero idea how to turn it off.
Now this is important later, My boyfriend has access to the ring camera I use at my house and I was texting him as all of this was going on, I’m trying to call the landlord to figure out what to do, and I’m making sure the tub isn’t over flowing.
My landlord wasn’t answering, I just so happened to catch my neighbor from across the hall as he was coming home and in my panic I asked him for help, he very quickly was able to stop the water from flowing by sticking a pair of pliers in the broken knob and turning something. So the day was saved! I didn’t think anything of this and kinda just finished my night and went to bed.
So also important later, as all of this happened obviously I was getting ready to shower, so I was wearing a pair of boy shorts and a tank top (nothing I’d even come close to wearing around others normally), I hadn’t texted my boyfriend back for awhile while all of this was happening so he ended up checking the ring camera, He saw me in front of the door freaking out asking my neighbor for help (last motion captured by the camera), and also saw I was wear essentially underwear while all of this happened. As soon as I let my neighbor in was the next time I texted my boyfriend what was happening. so it wasn’t like I didn’t inform him of what was going on.
He’s extremely upset that I ended up asking my neighbor for help without getting more dressed, in the moment I literally didn’t think about it, it’s hard to explain over text but the entire situation was just a shit show, I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I tried explaining all of this but he’s still upset at me, the more and more I think about it I just don’t feel sorry… I don’t know how to explain it, I feel like I’m an asshole (for feeling like I’m justified in asking for help) hence why I’m here :p
Also edit for clarity since I kind of just word dumped, I’m asking I’m ITAH for refusing to apologize, he hasn’t answered me and the last thing he sent me was “if you don’t see anything wrong with any of that (referring to asking my neighbor for help) then I don’t know what to tell you”. I’m not apologizing because I feel like I don’t need to and I’m curious if unbiased strangers feel the same!
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Last night my (F26) shower knob broke off while I was going to turn it on, as this happened, water began spraying out of the knob and into the tub (thankfully my drain didn’t overflow and flood) but I had zero idea how to turn it off.
Now this is important later, My boyfriend has access to the ring camera I use at my house and I was texting him as all of this was going on, I’m trying to call the landlord to figure out what to do, and I’m making sure the tub isn’t over flowing.
My landlord wasn’t answering, I just so happened to catch my neighbor from across the hall as he was coming home and in my panic I asked him for help, he very quickly was able to stop the water from flowing by sticking a pair of pliers in the broken knob and turning something. So the day was saved! I didn’t think anything of this and kinda just finished my night and went to bed.
So also important later, as all of this happened obviously I was getting ready to shower, so I was wearing a pair of boy shorts and a tank top (nothing I’d even come close to wearing around others normally), I hadn’t texted my boyfriend back for awhile while all of this was happening so he ended up checking the ring camera, He saw me in front of the door freaking out asking my neighbor for help (last motion captured by the camera), and also saw I was wear essentially underwear while all of this happened. As soon as I let my neighbor in was the next time I texted my boyfriend what was happening. so it wasn’t like I didn’t inform him of what was going on.
He’s extremely upset that I ended up asking my neighbor for help without getting more dressed, in the moment I literally didn’t think about it, it’s hard to explain over text but the entire situation was just a shit show, I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I tried explaining all of this but he’s still upset at me, the more and more I think about it I just don’t feel sorry… I don’t know how to explain it, I feel like I’m an asshole (for feeling like I’m justified in asking for help) hence why I’m here :p
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t get fully dressed when I had an emergency in my apartment, I feel I may be the AH because my boyfriend is upset at me about it
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Not at all. You were trying to look for help and your safety was the first priority. What if you did what he told you and put on more clothes and got hurt in the process?
NTA.
This wasn’t a conscious set of choices you made. You acted without thinking in a moment of stress and time urgency– and it wasn’t like you were actually naked. Your boyfriend is acting like you went and seduced the neighbor. That’s some nonsense. You needed help, and you went and got it. He needs to find the plot.
NTA it was an emergency. What if you had a medical emergency and someone saw you less than fully clothed? Would he be upset then? He sounds very immature.
NTA. Time to have a talk to him about why he’s more worried about your state of dress than he about you emergency. His priorities are misplaced.
NTA. Either your boyfriend needs to grow up or you need a new boyfriend if he can’t realize that the last thing you were thinking about while you worry about your bathroom potentially flooding was if you were properly covered up. I’d honestly revoke his access to the apartment ring cam until he changed his attitude, unless you share the place with him and he’s just away.
Nothing wrong with PJs in an emergency. You told him what’s up. He trusts you or he doesn’t 🤷
This is a big red flag. Your BF is obviously the jealous type and this isn’t going to get better. I’ll bet he doesn’t like it when you go out of town on girls’ weekends and would freak if you had any type of contact, even bumping into an old bf. If I were you, I would start thinking about moving on from this relationship.
Say goodbye…bf is obviously big time jealous. It only gets worse TRUST ME! It doesn’t get better
Tell your boyfriend to stop acting like an insecure child. Did he want you to put on make up and fix your hair too?
You had an emergency and you were wearing more than people wear to go swimming or some people wear at the gym.
You were fine and he needs to get over it.
NTA.
Why does he have access to to your camera? He doesn’t live there, sounds controlling.
NTA
However tf you choose to dress is your choice, not your boyfriend’s. Unless you are in a D/s relationship and you’ve granted him approval over all your choices, he can shut tf up.
The fact that you had an emergency you were trying to resolve and he is criticizing you after the fact is absurd.
NTA
NTA. You were not trying to seduce anyone and you had to do what you could to take care of your apartment. This may indicate that he is very jealous person and that is not a good quality to have in an SO, maybe potentially controlling, too.
Do not second guess the things you do in life, you do the best you can under the circumstances and that is all you can do. This is clearly his problem, not yours. Don’t let him shame you or demean you for this innocent event. If he can’t be there for you, you must do what you can to get help. You did nothing wrong. You don’t have to justify anything to him or anyone else. You seem strong and self reliant, don’t let anyone take that away from you.
NTA. It was an emergency. If the building was on fire would you stop to get dressed?
This wasn’t as big an emergency, but no you were right.
NTA – You called your bf first. If he were able to guide you through what to do, you wouldn’t
need to ask your neighbor for help. What you were wearing was irrelevant.
NTA, jesus your BF is an asshole.
OP was wearing boy shorts and a tank top
OP wasn’t naked while asking the neighbor for help
The bathroom was flooding, OP went to find help in an emergency, while wearing clothes.
NTA
NTA
I don’t think at any point you did anything wrong.
NTA.
If you can’t explain it to your BF then that seems like a red flag of some kind… either your inability to communicate, of his to listen… but NTA.
NTA
NTA. Your bf is though.
It’d be different if you were only in a towel or a thong and bra. Your bf sucks and hopefully an ex.
If a female neighbor, only wearing a tank top, asks for help with the plumbing, I’m in. You know that tank top is going to get wet… and then boobs and nipples.
Nta. And you should cut off his access to your ring cam. You’re not married and you’re not living together. What you do in the privacy of your home, especially during an emergency is none of his goddamn buisness. And if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t have to keep dating you.
NTA – i don’t know how your boyfriend could have expected more. You were not naked. It is not your normal dress for going out, but this was also not a normal situation.
He needs to get over this. It is extremely unreasonable behaviour.
NTA. It’s time to get a new one.
NTA. I don’t like him. Guys who worry more about what you’re wearing rather than how you feel during an emergency… They’re gross. Of course you didn’t go in and change, you were in a panic! Your boyfriend sucks.
NTA. It was an emergency and were wearing more than required to be at a public beach. He’s being ridiculously jealous.
And I don’t care how good a boyfriend he is, I’d never give anyone access to indoor camera(s) at my home. In fact, other than perhaps keeping an eye on a pet when I wasn’t home, I wouldn’t have a camera inside my home. Let me guess, was that his idea?
This is a level of being controlling that is pretty scary. He didn’t approve of what you wore in an emergency, when you were totally dressed, that he learned about by looking at your eing cam!!!
I thought you were going to say you were topless or nude. This is a scary reaction to have.
When you said you weren’t dressed appropriately I was expecting panties and a bra. Not a….tank top and shorts? Am I in an alternate dimension here?
It’s a weird thing to ask someone to apologize for.
it’s not even like you were nude. you had clothes on.
nta, *ex-bf
[removed]
BF doesn’t own you. Commenting on your clothes in an emergency is serious ah behavior.
If he gave a crap about you he would be grateful to the neighbor for being able to help you.
Instead he’s red flagging himself.
NTA
If he does not immediately get over this and apologize, break up with him.
NTA you were wearing the equivalent of a bikini. Your BF needs to chill
NTA, but bro has some issues. Not sure if the big one is jealousy or control, but if you don’t address this now, it could get really ugly, really fast. How old is he, anyway?
NTA. Your boyfriend sounds controlling.
Lol. His access should be removed regardless. He doesn’t need to be monitoring whose coming in and out of your house.
NTA. First of all, there was a situation going on. Second, what you wear is YOUR choice. Third, why does he feel he has any say in what you wear??
NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong. And I understand that feeling when something is actively going wrong and you don’t know what to do or what’s going to happen… yikes!
Tell your bf you were more covered than when you’re on the beach in a swim suit and is he going to throw hissy fits over that, too? He needs to grow up.
Get out.
Right, and would he have wanted you to stop and take your time to get dressed if the apartment was on fire, too? He’s being ridiculous. NTA.
100000% NTA.
You were dressed. Yes, maybe not your first choice outfit but It was an emergency situation.
I’m sure your Neighbour/s would have been a little ticked with you if you stopped to put on your Sundays best while your place, and probably theirs(if an apartment) flooded
NTA – your boyfriend is a baby but I’m also just confused how water flowing into a bathtub with a drain is an emergency.
INFO
Why? Why is he upset?
Why is it important to him that someone doesn’t see you dressed like that when you are dealing with something pretty unexpected or an emergency?
Why? It appears you weren’t naked, but some emergencies absolutely do happen in the bathroom when people are naked. That’s unfortunately just life. So what is inherently wrong with your level of clothing?
Why does he believe that a 50 year old man (father of 2 kids) that presumably lived in your building can’t see you dressed like that?
You start to follow the questions or reasoning and it starts to get to some pretty unpleasant places.
So? Why?
NTA. Also, maybe consider ditching your jealous and insecure boyfriend.
nta, would understand if you were naked but not with what you were wearing
I see nothing wrong with this. You were frantically trying to get the shower stop before anything got worse. It’s not like you ran out there naked. You were in clothes. You are probably showing less when in a bathing suit, right?
I’m going to say your boyfriend is one of two things in this situation. He is either a very jealous person or naïve.
Stop reaching out to him. Stop trying to explain your reasoning. There is nothing to explain besides what he already knows. The shower broke and you needed help, so you asked a neighbor.
There is nothing for him “to tell you” because there wasn’t anything wrong with what you did. And if you keep trying to explain yourself and apologize for this. You are not going to have a good relationship with him.
Stand your ground.
NTA your bf is EXTRA insecure.
I thought you were gonna say you had a bunch of firemen in your house and you were in a towel soaking wet……
You were literally in shorts and a shirt.
NTA, break up anyway because he is an insecure ass hat.
NTA. You were panicking.
NTA-it was an emergency and he doesn’t understand that, get out while you can.
NA but your weird controlling boyfriend is. YOU WERE DRESSED.
NTA – 1. You were wearing clothes that most people (in my area of the world anyway) would not consider underwear but more house lounge clothes. But anyway you were not naked and not even mostly naked with a towel wrapped around you. 2. You were trying to prevent a good which could have damaged your apartment and the landlord might have charged you extra for since you didn’t know how to turn off the water. Luckily your neighbor did. Make sure to note how he did that and maybe watch s free YouTube videos about simple plumbing so you know how to turn off the water on all your faucets. 3. It’s not like you invited the neighbor over and chatted and had tea after he helped you. He turned off the water, left and you got back to your normal day to day. Your boyfriend needs to chill.
NTA – Tell your boyfriend that we all think you should find a new boyfriend. Start looking.
Something ain’t right with that boy.