I (24F) was heading home from work when a friend asked if I could give her a lift. The problem is, she lives in the opposite direction and it would’ve added about 40 minutes to my drive. I’m also in a sticky financial situation at the moment and I can’t afford the extra gas. I said I couldn’t because I was tired and just wanted to get home.
She ended up getting a ride from a friend but later texted me saying I was “selfish” since I had my car anyway and thankfully she has “real” friends. I felt a bit guilty, but at the same time, I don’t think I should have to make such a big detour. I have the privilege of owning a car but I also don’t think it means that I owe anyone rides whenever they need them. Ever since then it has been awkward between us.
Comments
Tell her that you are glad she has real friends and let this friendship die. You aren’t an Uber driver. I notice that never once did she offer to chip in for gas.
nta she should know it’s out of your way and is wayyy to long a drive maybe if it was 10 or 15 minutes but 40 is too much
NTA. It doesn’t sound like it was an emergency situation, and she didn’t offer to pay for gas…
NTA. Your friend is an asshole. Call an uber. She expects a free ride. Adios to her, tell her to enjoy her real friends!
Absolutely not. It seems more selfish for them to expect a ride. Also, could ask for gas money if you are able to and just the finances was stopping you.
NTA. You are not required as a friend to give “friends” free rides, especially ones that greatly inconvenience you!
She’s a user. Ditch her.
You’re fine letting go that friend. Trust me, there will be more from her later on. This is just her guilt feeling towards you.
NTA – It’s too far out of your way. She needs to stop being bitter and just accept the “no” for what it is. Just because you have a car doesn’t mean you’ll be available to drive her around.
NTA owning a car doesn’t make you Uber with free gas. Boundaries are healthy.
NTA. If 40 minutes and gas money is what it takes to be a real friend, then maybe you’re better off fake
NTA. She showed you what kind of a friend she is, a user.
NTA OP
NTA. Just be upfront and say you can’t afford the extra petrol.
She can let her real friends drive her around in the future. But keep it a buck. This isn’t about the gas; you just didn’t feel like taking her. Just own it, next time.
Why did she wait until the work day was over to ask for a ride? Didn’t even have the courtesy to ask earlier.
Why not just tell her the truth? You were having fuel expense issues.
Should’ve made a better excuse such as you have a prior engagement that you can’t miss eg a doctor’s appointment etc etc
NTA. A 40 minute detour and extra gas is a lot to ask and she is out of line calling you selfish. Having a car does not mean you owe everyone free rides. A real friend would understand your situation instead of guilt tripping you.
NTA
It makes you selfish, but not her selfish for thinking the world revolves around her to the point putting other people out and taking advantage of them doesn’t sit on her conscience?