Okay so me (18M) and my girlfriend (18F) We met for the first time ever 3 months ago and she fell for me on the very first day. She proposed me after few days. I was single from long time and was looking for casual relationship. I got into relationship with her. Now after 3 months she is telling me that I have to be 100% sure that I’ll will have to marry her in coming future. I told her that we are too young to give such commitments and I can’t give you such commitment by just knowing you from 3 months. Should I give her the commitment? Please help me I’m very confused. She won’t talk to me if I don’t give her guarantee
AITA for not giving my(18M) girlfriend (18F) not giving 100% guarantee that I’ll marry her
r/AITAH
Comments
You’re just being realistic.
Absolutely not unless you mean it. NTA. You WOULD be the AH if you lie just to stay together. Also, that behavior from her is super SUS. Like, this is the type of person who is going to be jealous at every turn over every little thing, and possibly be very controlling and manipulative. Keep an eye out for more red flags cause something isn’t quite right here…
Run!
Flee!
Get away from this girl as fast as possible!
Looking for a lifetime commitment at 18= lunacy.
You are barely not-children and this stranger wants you to promise to marry her. 🚩🚩🚩
NTA. Break up.
I would say this demand is a sign of her deep insecurity. I am not the least bit surprised she is already showing jealousy.
From my point of view: Jealosy is super unsexy. Either you love me and trust me, or you don’t. I need both if If I am to be with you. If you can’t give me both, then we are not right for each other and have to move on.
Whether its because you’re too young, or because you haven’t known her long enough, both are very good reasons to not make such a serious commitment. I don’t know why she’s in such a rush to get married, or to get that level of commitment so fast.
Get away from her man. She’s crazy
Serious red flag moment. A few days, she proposed. 3 months, and she is giving ultimatums. RUN!!!!!!
NTA, but I’d reconsider the relationship if I were you. She’s clearly not ready to be in one.
NTA. She’s toxic and possibly crazy. Dump her because she’s not going to suddenly become a rational & realistic person. JFC DON’T stick your dick in crazy!!!!
NTA, and of course you won’t commit. You’re 18 for god’s sake. Just end it now and find someone who isn’t desperate.
You’re both too young to consider marrying. You each will change dramatically over the next 5 years. Have fun but cool it!
You are too young to be sure. That is what dating should be about. Getting to know people. Seeing if you fall in love. Learning if your life goals align. Finding out if you are compatible.
She is rushing things, and you need to run the other way.
Nta
NTA realistically yall are 18 can’t say if yall will even still like each other by the time your 19 i think it’s time to just let her go because she’s trying to rush life a little too quickly and secure a future for some odd reason when she still has time do not let her trap you
If she refuses to talk to you, she’s far too immature to be in a relationship, let alone get married. You need to set her free.
NTA. Your brain isn’t even fully cooked until you’re 26. Also, for future relationships, anyone who moves that fast in a relationship is trouble. Men seem to excuse women, and way too many get trapped in a toxic cycle.
So unless you want a family of 6 by the age of 26, you need to move slowly. That includes the spicy part too.
Think Johnny Depp, but without the support system to sue a tarantula queen, for being a tarantula queen.
Dude, please dodge that bullet and break up with her!!!!!!
You’re both 18, what’s with her wanting to marry after only 3 months???
It’s way too early (in life AND in the relationship) to commit to marriage. It’s way too early to be giving each other ultimatums like this.
NTA. Either she can settle in and give it time and you guys can enjoy your time together and let things play out, or she wants to rush and you two can end the relationship. And that would be okay – you have your whole life (and other connections and relationships) ahead of you!
You’re the asshole for failing English. The marriage things though, you two barely know each other. Shes really jumping the gun.
NTA. If you don’t feel strongly about her, there is no need to continue the relationship. It’s okay that she has certain goals, but at 18, marriage should be the last thing of your mind.
Run.
If you haven’t been dating for at least a full year, you shouldn’t even be considering marriage. You need time to see how a person reacts to different situations, see how their moods shift, see how they react to hardship, see if you have compatible interests in all seasons, see how well you get along once limerence settles down, etc
Moreover, college and/or work changes people. You’re in brand new settings that will shape you you become
Arguably most importantly, your brains aren’t even developed yet and won’t be for years to come. It isn’t fully there until 24-25. You guys can’t even rent a car in some states.
Either explain to her why making those commitments this early are a bad idea, lie to her if you’re an asshole, or move on to someone rational.
I think most people make the most changes in their lives between the ages of 20 and 30.
Trying to get married at 18 is crazy, unless you’ve been lifelong friends and already know in your heart this is your person.
But fell in love on the first day? Three months? And she’s acting like that, demanding marriage? BIG red flags. She sounds like she’s more in love with the idea of being in love.
Have you maybe considered going for your female best friend?
>She won’t talk to me if I don’t give her guarantee
Sounds like the problem will solve itself then. NTA, she’s being entirely unreasonable to expect guarantees of marriage at 18 years old and after only 3 months of knowing each other. I’d just tell you need to end the relationship since she wants different things than you do.
You met 3 months ago. Assume the day you met you woke up late and continue living like you never met her. This is not the best decision but it’s a decision
Dude, you are 18, and you’ve been seeing this girl (barely a woman yet) for a whole three months. Your answer was the best that could be given and super reasonable.
“She won’t talk to me if I don’t give her guarantee”
That sounds like a her problem. Since she dropped an ultimatum, you have no choice but to dump her.
NTA
Tell her this is coming from another woman.
This expectation is not rational.You’ve only just met each other, and you are basically children. You might say you’re adults because in the eyes of the law, you are, however, it is a child’s expectation that something in life be guaranteed.
It’s a little girl’s fairytale, Disney princess fantasy that someone falls in love with them at 1st sight, they’re soulmates, he’ll propose right away, and they’ll be married and live happily ever after.
The reality of those situations is divorce.The reality of those situations is you’ve married someone you barely know and when the reality of who that person is and what living with them looks like hits, one or both people are unhappy or feel stuck.
Dating is about getting to know each other. It’s not just about chemistry, but it’s finding out if your values and your hopes for the future align. People are often their very best selves in those first weeks or months, which is why they call it a honeymoon period. Time reveals a lot.
If what she wants want to know is that you are dating with intention, then I think you should be clear about whether you are serious about the relationship. But if she is really asking for a “guarantee of marriage,” I would probably leave the relationship since she has a lot of maturing to do.
Your current approach – “No, it is too early” – sounds best. Because it is honest. Don’t let her needs (hard certain commitment) swallow your truth. But try to at least hear where she is coming from. Ask her why it is so critical to her, maybe learn something about each other in the process.
NTA anyway. You are rarely an asshole for telling the truth, or being true to your own feelings.
NTA you are 100% sure that you are too young and this relationship is too new to make that kind of commitment. She sounds kind of scary.
You’re 18.
Find someone who isn’t crazy. Expecting a wedding after a 3-month relationship is stupid, short-sighted and nuttier than squirrel shit.
No You’re not.
After dating someone for almost 7 Years we realized we weren’t on the same page. We used to promise marriage n all but when I really wanted to she decided she had different plans. So it doesn’t always work out as planned. You can never be 100% sure. If she is pressing for it, just run away. Date someone else.
NTA. The scientific term for this person is “Stage 5 Clinger.” Get out now and pray she doesn’t try to wear your skin for a coat some day.
That girl is in love with marriage, not with you. Maybe she wants to escape a nightmarish home. She will marry whatever idealization that crosses her path and says “yes”.
I mean, no, don’t give her that commitment.
NTA
Um you two are babies. She fell to hard too fast. Last thing you want is to get married. All the people I knew that got married as teenagers, got divorced
That’s a huge red flag from her. Get away now while you still can.
It’s only been 3months?! Only thing to do is run. Run far and fast!
Run.
Dude, come on. You know the answer to that.
Sounds like she immediately went to the love bombing stage, moving too quickly, etc. I see the signs. Next cycle is devalue, then the next cycle will be to discard you. Then rinse, and repeat; she’ll try to lure you back with sweet talk. And she’s giving you the silent treatment until she gets her way? Classic narcissistic personality. (I know, because I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse, have been to therapy and learned about it. Diagnosed CPTSD). You’re being sensible. Run, don’t walk, and don’t look back!
To know 100% you’d wanna marry after three months and meeting once if im reading right a long distance relationship means you’re either the absolute perfect match or the more likely case loves a hell of a drug. Casual relationship is fine I’ve personally been the type that if im gonna date it’s with the intention to one day get married but I also never thought instantly that I’d marry someone I just started dating. Three months is like a bare minimum to really start knowing and understanding someone’s whole personality instead of just whats usually their best side when trying to look good for whoever.
i dont mean to alarm you but she’s crazy. i hate siding with men and calling other girls crazy but she proposed to you after 3 days and is demanding you commit to marrying her when y’all are most likely still in highschool? that’s obsession, not love.
Mate, you’re only 18. Get away from her. She’s bad news
Nta. 3 months and she wants to get married? Break up with that craziness! You can find someone else.
NTAH!
When I was your age I was blind to the whole world and just focused on the things right in front of me. So all I could see was today and not tomorrow and beyond.
Pretty much every man has experienced this before.it’s one of the many things that you have to experience to understand it. Hopefully, you will learn from it and change your mistakes and improve your successes.
So my old man advice is that you are 18 years old. You will most likely be around for another 60 years or so. You have to ask yourself if she is the one who you want to spend that time with?
That’s really as simple as it gets. It’s when our emotions get involved or a sense of loyalty or whatever else that influences our behavior, that makes things complicated and difficult to deal with objectively.
I’m happy to see that you have the mental capacity to see this from a lesser emotional perspective. You have only been with her for 3 months.
To me she may have some issues or past traumas that influence her today. She’s 18 she doesn’t know how to deal with them or face them or understand how they affect her life and her relationships.
She won’t like you saying this, but you should encourage her to try to make her life more stable and free of past experiences that are a negative influence on her today.
Because let’s face it, she is ready for you to propose to her now. That’s just not normal for her and you at this age.
I mean seriously, at 18, you are both very likely still living with your parents. You are either attending school or have a job. But you are no where near being ready to support yourself on your own, and much less being able to support a wife. Add in the higher possibility of becoming a father. Which wouldn’t surprise me if she is going to want to get pregnant and start having children very soon.
I’m not saying that you or her are wrong or right. Truthfully, even though it’s unusual for people at your age to get married now. Mostly because of how much harder it is to be able to support yourselves financially, than the generations that came before you. It’s a very different world than it was when I was your age.
To be fair, the generations before me had a different mindset. It wasn’t that uncommon to see a young couple getting married. Statistically, they had a lot of success in their marriages and careers.so it has worked and can work out for people today.
But I also think that if you were as serious about her as she seems to be about you. Then there would not have been a post to respond to.
So long story short, stay level headed as much as possible. Continue to be honest with her about what you want in life currently, just like you did here. She has a decision to make in her life. Either she can live with it and move forward or she can’t. If she can’t, it’s a good idea to wish her the best in life and move on. It won’t just suddenly change and not become a problem anymore.
You should always try to avoid answering hypothetical questions such as this one.
In reality, it is an irrelevant conversation to have right now. She wants a hard promise and a guarantee in life from you and you’re not in a position to even remotely agree to do.
Plus, if she is trying to decide on both of your futures and your life choices at 3 months. Imagine how much more controlling she will get as time goes by.
lol NTA, the red flags will only become more common
Raise your hand if you know OP is about to be baby trapped 🙋♂️
You better run far away from her!
NTA Run forest run
If you want a life of misery that is your choice.
You want totally different things, it would be a total AH move to stay with her. You only want casual, she wants permanent, you need to break up.
NTA. You seriously think about marriage after three years, not three months. If you are concerned about her behavior and actions after three months, it will most likely get worse as she gets more comfortable being around you. If she is demanding a guarantee, tell her you cannot do that and it might be best to take a break. See how she reacts to that hour she is if you actually do take a break. That will help you decide if you want to continue being with her.
NTA. Why are you even considering this? No, absolutely do not commit two teenagers to over 60 years of marriage just because she whined and begged for it like a child asking for another cookie.
Do not give any commitments at this age. As you were aware, you were much too young for this and if she’s pushing for that already, it’s truly a red flag. For someone to say that they “knew” already when they first met you is ridiculous. Don’t get her pregnant. Be careful.
Why has no one worked out that this is a culture issue?
Proposed after a few days? My dude, that is suck a red flag. Girl is moving waaay too fast.
Don’t give it, she stops talking to you. Problem solved
NTA If you’re asking this question she probably isn’t the one for you.
Wtf? She proposed after a few days and won’t talk to you unless you promise that? You’re both 18. Find a more stable partner!
Dude you’re 18. You need to run away from this crazy. There will be other girls. And for the love of god don’t have sex with her. She will 100% try to baby trap you.
Nah man fucking RUN
If she won’t talk to you, good. Just bail. I get that we aren’t supposed to call women crazy, but this one is in fact fucking crazy
Both 18yrs old, you’ve been dating 3 months and she wants 💯 commitment for marriage already? Breakup and run now. She’s ridiculous. NTA.
She sounds like an absolute nutcase and the sooner you get away from her the better off you’ll be
Hell no! Run for your life
NTA
Her behavior is unreasonable and immature. You are too young and it’s been 3 months!!
This is your out, take it. She needs to grow up, that’s obvious by her silent treatment. But 18, going out 3 months, absolutely mental.
Are you willing to change ALL SORTS OF THINGS about yourself to please this girl, just to hang on to her? Is that how you want to live your life? Will she stop asking these sort of things from?
She crazy. Run away. Do not have sex, do not impregnate.
I don’t think people should be in long term commited relationships until mid twenties or later. The human brain doesn’t mature until mid twenties or later. First loves are called first loves for a reason. You have not dated enough people to figure out who will be a positive long term relationship partner. You will wonder what you missed and what would it be like to be with someone else. How many people have you heard lament that they were too young.
You should be concentrating on your own education and building your work experience. You can not share your life if you haven’t already built one. This seems like teenage nonsense behavior. She was acting her age and needs some more growing up time. This was a traveler you shared time with on your lifes journey. Move
It sounds like you’re in South Asia. AITA is mostly Americans, and will give advice most advantageous in western culture.
If you’re in India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, or Bangladesh, you would get better advice from people around you who know your cultures, customs, and other values better. They can offer better advice than us who aren’t even sure what country you’re posting from right now.
Let us know in 9 months how things are going for you!
She’s like really crazy. She will try to baby trap you.
Is she MAGA?
Bro, you’re 18. You’re not gonna marry this girl.
NTA. You’re 18. DO NOT DO THAT
Lmao. This bait is so bad that it’s at least funny. I got a genuine good laugh.
At 18? NTA.
NTA
You’ve known each other three months.
You’re 18.
Do not marry her. Do not promise to marry her.
She is out of her mind.
Oh FFS. You are both 18 and have known each other 3 months.
Do not promise to marry someone you’ve known for 3 months. Especially at age 18. If she demands that, she’s not the one for you. Break up and move on.
NTAH & gtfo 😂🤷🏼♀️✌🏼
Run.
People come and go in life. Each season or chapter will be filled with new experiences and people. I’d argue it may be best to explore at this age. Someday you could meet someone and know she’s the one. It would be too much to quick for me unless I was 100% sure
She will try baby trap u hope u haven’t slept together yet
NTA.
Break up before she gets pregnant.
18 is too early to be expected to make a lifetime commitment. Run away from this. It’s about the same as her demanding that you get a huge face tattoo of her name.
She’s the whole bag of crazy. You’re 18 and only been together 3 months. Refusing to talk with you unless you promise to marry are not the actions of someone who loves you. She sounds unhinged.
Nta, you are 18 , enjoy life
Run
She’s going to get pregnant, then you’ll be on the hook for the next 20 years. Say goodbye to your paycheck.
You are not “very confused”. You know exactly what is happening. Please try to attempt to be a little more smart & not waste everyone’s time with this bullshit post.
Grow a backbone & a little sense.
The only way you can give anyone a 100% guarantee of anything is if you lie
Big red flags OP, sounds more trouble than it’s worth. Me, personally would get away from that relationship before she potentially does something extreme and drastic that will leave you trapped..
Run away now. You are so young and 3 mos in! Go live your life!!
Dump her.
No. You guys just met.
She’s a nut. Run far away.
Also, wear condoms so she doesn’t baby trap you.
NTA.
Oh my God. You’re both 18, what the fuck is she?? A mormon?? I think you should leave and find a sane girl.
Break up immediately and stay away
nta
Research borderline personality disorder
Leave
Break up with her immediately. That is psychotic behavior.
NTA. Be honest with her, even if it means breaking up.
If your values and hers dont line up, go away from her now. There are many who hold values that dating is for marriage. If you aren’t one of them, go away from those who hold the values you dont.
YTA Just those times are crazy. Every relationshing longterm goal should be to marry someone. If you want just to fuck her and have fun, dont make her commit jnto it
It’s not about age on this one. It is about her sanity. She is a red flag.
She’s going to trap you with a pregnancy. Get the fuck away from her.
You could go 2 different routes, 1, you could lie and just tell her what she wants to hear(don’t commit officially) or 2, keep it realistic and say it’s been 3 months and that’s not enough time to decide your future as people change over time, you may know her but you don’t know all about her
I mean no you don’t have to for a few reasons.
You are young. You both are. Pressure like that shows how immature she is and could do silly stuff to try and shorten the “engagement”, also I’d you don’t see a future with her, go. End it.
You are saving yourself the hassle and spare her the hache.
The flags don’t get redder.
NTAH, you two are too young. This is not how an adult relationship works, you two are still learning how to be in a relationship.
I think you should break up wiht her tbh. You two are 18 and both of you need to learn how to be single adults before because your lives will be changing drasitcally in the next 5 years. There are many people who get married at 19,20, 21 or they get in very committed relationships and regret it because they can’t have the expreinces their single friends are having.
You’re both way too young to be talking marriage.
NTA. 3 months in and she’s demanding this? It will never stop, and it will get exponentially worse if you have kids. You should be focusing on your future and independently supporting yourself.
Instead of looking into getting married, you should look into how hard it is to divorce. Getting married is easy, everything else–staying married or not–is hard. Let those self-preservation instincts kick in!
You’re both 18. You both have very little concept of life yet. Just move on. Plenty of women out there.
NTA. Dude, 18 is too early for a marriage commitment. What’s the rush.
Fuuuuck no. Run away man.
you’re young and this relationship was doomed to not last. end it and move on
Run Op Run! Danger OP Danger!! OP, I have a bad feeling about this!!!
You are 18, in no way do the two of you understand the contentment she is asking for. I am not saying she is a bad person, I am saying she needs some therapy.
Y’all are 18, she needs to calm tf down.
NTA
Ur unequally crazy. Won’t work. Move on now before the full crazy comes out. NTA
She crazy, run.
>Should I give her the commitment?
Obviously not.
NTA. Red flags my dude.
Run! Start the car!
NTA. Run. Don’t go back for anything, dont walk calmly for the exit, do not help any other evacuees on your way out. Getting married at 18 is insane, and anyone who wants to marry you when they barely even know you is a psycho and you should truly steer clear of them ASAP, in as gently a way as possible, like theyre a raptor or something.
Run. Run away as fast and as far as you can and don’t run back
Yikes…she sounds like a Stage 6 clinger dude, time to get away while you still can before the fake pregnancy trap she will use to try and keep you with her.
Run? Fast?
Just get out of there. You’re too young to be making that kind of commitment
You’re 18 – that’s crazy!
I think its fine to ask could you see us marrying one day if shes dating to find a life partner. But things change, people grow, you learn more about each other – you cant say for certain that thing will work out. I think relationships are about choosing each other, but you need a good foundation to begin with with.
Girl seem a little delulu
RUN.
Break up with her, block her, and stay the hell away from her.
And absolutely positively do not have sex with her, and if you’ve already had sex with her, do NOT do that again, under any circumstances.
She is trying to trap you, and getting your life locked down three months after meeting someone is absolutely insane
Run
Dude run. Like drop everything and GTFO.
you should break up with her before she tries to get pregnant, which she 100% will btw. She is crazy pants. NTA
Think about maybe getting married in ten years—you’ll still be in your 20s. Now is much too soon in both your relationship and your life to be thinking of marriage unless you also are considering misery and divorce.
You are 18, this is all I will say: The prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-level cognitive functioning, judgment, and decision-making, reaches its full development around 25 years old. This stage is associated with stronger long-term planning, reasoning, and the final stages of executive function development.
No you are so young and you’re not ready to make a marriage commitment. You do owe her honesty though and you have to tell her even if she decides to leave. It’s the right thing to do.
Gonna guess this has something to do with culture. I’d guess South Asian and most likely Indian.
She won’t talk to you? Good. Keep it that way. Ignore her and when she finally contacts you tell her you assumed you were broken up, have been enjoying the single life and then DUMP HER BECAUSE SHE’S A PSYCHO. As a 40 year old woman I have enough experience in life to tell you to tell her to fxck off down the road and out of your life. You should let her know that her behaviour is mental and she needs therapy, because she does. She’s love bombed you and is now using abusive manipulation tactics to get her way. I’d also let her know that you could have just lied to her to fxck her and dumped her later and that you saying you’ll marry her later is meaningless. She’s clearly an idiot of she didn’t realize that men lying to her just to keep access to her body until they are bored with her is a totally viable option that lots of men will take advantage of in any situation she can come up with in her life. So she should both grow tf up and get some mental help.
BTW. You’re too young to and vulnerable to stay with a crazy chick like this just for sex, her abuse is working on you or you wouldn’t be here. So run before she traps you. Men and women like this trap vulnerable people easily. Get out fast. If she doesn’t want to take no for an answer, and that’s likely, tell her you slept with someone else and she’s so sexy and hot in bed that you lost interest in now ex-GF fast. This works against any man or woman with this type of mental issue. They can’t take the hit to their ego. If she doesn’t believe you describe the sex in graphic detail using emotive language, a woman will take the hit harder based on how it felt for you whereas a man will take the hit hardest based on the physical qualities of the man (dick) and how hard you got off vs faking it with him.
I know this sounds really mean but a lot of these people are potential stalkers, women included. You have to make them hate you enough to drop you in disgust but not enough to unalive you (although statistically it’s almost exclusively men that will be violent offenders in this situation). Ego fracture works extremely well for this. They just lose all interest. Otherwise, they very frequently stalk or harass you for months.
All those reddit relationship horror stories with women trapped by narcissistic, abusive men – that’s the story you’re in the beginning of but gender swapped. So take it seriously. You’re just a kid still, don’t let this ruin your life when the best part is just about to start.
lmao what
at 18
after 3 months
If after three months she is demanding a relationship, in three years she will be wearing your skin as a coat.
The good news is she is upfront about her expectations.
The bad news is her expectations. All of them.
Expecting someone to commit to love and marriage a few months in is unreasonable. Everyone comes in with baggage, whether their own relationship history or that they observed in their parent’s relationship. Some people need a while to trust. EVERYONE needs time to see if their perception of their partner is reality. Character is revealed over time, but hers is looking bad pretty early on.
Not talking to someone because they won’t do what you want is manipulative. It’s also not something you do to someone you love. If you love someone, you respect them and their boundaries. You are a means to an end for her. She may have convinced herself she’s in love with you so she can excuse away her actions.
Look at the shift in your own post. You say you were looking for something casual and instead you have a GF demanding promises of love and marriage. If you don’t stop this, you’ll be dragged along.
I’m a middle aged woman who was raised in a conservative environment where marriage and family was idolized. Marriage is a competitive sport for women in that culture. If you are sleeping with her, an “accidental” pregnancy could very well be in your future.
Tell her you can’t give her what she needs. She’ll get over it. She’ll find an overbearing conservative man who wants to fill that role. In the future, don’t be afraid to set boundaries with girlfriends. If they can’t respect them, they are wrong for you.
This is what is referred to as a Stage 5 Clinger.
This girl has some emotional issues she needs to work through because this is not destined to be a healthy relationship. I can think of all sorts of ways this could go, none of them good. Think “Fatal Attraction”. You won’t get the reference but look it up.
Run Forrest Run.
You can’t give her that committment. Both of you are too young. And if she is trying to punish you into submission you will have to tell her you are leaving her. Be careful. You’re not in the wrong for telling her you two aren’t ready to be engaged. Good luck‼️
Get away or you’ll be stuck forever
I’m gonna assume that you don’t have a lot of experience with relationships, and hopefully this helps. Every part of this relationship has moved to quickly from my perspective. We all have a speed that we are comfortable moving through relationships with, and that’s fine.
However, let’s take a second and consider what is possible. Is it possible that this girl decided that she loved you after meeting you the first time? No, that’s infatuation. Would it be possible for most people to get engaged after a couple of days? Not at all, and you should probably talk to someone if that’s the speed you move at. This girl sounds like she has an obsession, and this isn’t healthy. I can only speculate, but low self esteem, poor boundaries, or a variety of mental health issues could be at play.
Let’s also consider what’s reasonable. You stated you wanted a causal relationship. Are you getting that? Are you happy with how things are? It sounds like she is heavily pressuring you to do something you don’t want to. Is that reasonable? Is that healthy behavior?
You are young, and there’s no need to be engaged yet. It sounds like you have some healthy expectations of what a relationship should be early on. Listen to yourself, this isn’t right. She is bulldozing over what you want, so that she can “know” you two are gonna get married? It takes time to get to know someone, and usually a couple of years when living together. You two are young, likely gonna grow apart (this is natural as you figure out who you are), and this isn’t gonna be permanent either way.
Do you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you? Do you want to lie to this girl to keep the peace? Are you scared with how things are progressing?
Please, stick to your initial feelings here, this isn’t right.
She’s a bit bonkers.
Run.
Run
NTA But your young so one thing you should learn. IS NEVER TO LIE TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT THE FUTURE. Just be open and honest and if they cannot handle that its on them. Like compromises can be made but if you are entirely unsure of something do not lie and say the opposite. If she wants an answer just repeat what you said “I dont know, we are young and young relationships dont tend to last. Especially when they start giving ultimatums 3 months into the relationship. Its fine if you want that commitment right now. BUT I cannot give it to you. And well I am not going to lie to your face, and then resent you later. If we have to break up we do. But I prefer we go slow with things so we can actually get to know each other. But well this whole experience has been a massive red flag. Like I dont mind you wanting a commitment but your reaction when I gave a genuine response is worrying.”
Dude, I mean, come on. There are the reddest of flags, they practically invented a new shade of red. Your situation is pretty self explanatory, but for most people out there, sure, you can fall for someone right away. Guess what? Happens all the time. You dont need to marry that person. I “fell in love” with ex girlfriends. It wasnt love. I never considered marrying any of them except one, and even then the relationship lasted barely a year.
OP, the fact that you’re even asking this question means you already know the answer. Marriage isnt something you just immediately rush into. A real relationship takes time to develop. You barely know this girl. You’re way too young to be thinking about this.
Dude she proposed to you after 3 days, RUN.
Okay, so first off, NTAH. Second, she is trying to move too fast and not accepting your boundaries, and that is never a good sign. And lastly, you are right you are both young and getting married is a big step that can lead to life long things like kids and money issues. Do not let her pressure you to do anything that you are not comfortable with. Best of luck and I hope it gets better for you.
Huge red flag… watch out and always hide and use your own condoms dude.
Yes, you are too young, this is too soon. She is chasing a ring, hard, and I don’t think she cares who it comes from. Find someone else unless you want to be continually pressured into being her tuxedo filler.
You’re only 18 tell her to relax or find a new one 🤷
You’re so young! Absolutely do not commit to marrying her! Next she will “forget” to take her birth control and you’ll have a kid at 20.
End it fast. Your gf is crazy to expect this. Please move on.
NTAH there are no guarantees yet I can almost guarantee that this chick is stalker material. You need to get away lol, it’s too much too soon & y’all are too young to trap or get trapped! Pssst don’t have sex with her & if you must than 100% take charge of birth control, CONDOMS! Oh & you make sure you are the only one to handle the condom from opening to disposal ! Don’t let her touch it! 🤦🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️✌🏼
Anyone of any sex that proposes to someone within three days of knowing them is probably unhinged and someone you should stay away from
She’s being ridiculous, you’re only 18 and just met. Run before she baby traps you!
Son, you need to have gone through each season with that person at least once before you know if you might want to marry them. And you should put the both of you through stressful situations, like travelling together, to see if you are able to work as a team or if you will jump at each other’s throat. If you jump at each other’s throats, marriage with each other is probably not a good idea.
NTA. You’re 18, and known each other 3 months? There’s zero certainty in this situation. Add the fact that she’s emotionally manipulating you. I’d tell her you’re 100% sure this relationship is over.
You are right. Y’all are too young to make such commitments. Her demands are a red flag.
Just so we’re clear, the stage in a relationship where you’re committing to marriage is when you get engaged. An engagement is that commitment.
I personally see it as a huge red flag for someone to get that serious that quickly, but to each their own I guess. Even if she’s not unhealthy for pushing things like that, at the very least you’ve got completely different relationship goals than she does. It’s appropriate to find someone with matching (or at least close) intentions, that’s how you end up with a peaceful relationship. You’re NTA for not promising. In fact, you’d be an asshole for making a promise to her that you’re not sure you’re interested in keeping. Be honest. She might break up with you for it, and that’s okay. Maybe if she doesn’t you might consider it though. It’s your first relationship and it’s only been three months. It’s normal to need time to learn what’s healthy and what’s a bad idea for you. This might be a learning experience.
You are too young to be talking about marriage.
Are you still in school? Is she?