I (22F) work in a small office where vacation days have to be requested months in advance. Last July, I put in for a week off in September because I wanted to visit my family out of state. Everything got approved, and I already booked flights and made plans with my parents. But then last week, my coworker found out my dates and asked if I could switch with him. His reason? He and his buddies decided to do a last minute fishing trip that just happens to fall on the exact same week I’m off.
I politely turned him down, because I already made plans and spent money. He got annoyed and said, C’mon, it’s just family, you can see them anytime. This trip is a once in a lifetime thing with the guys. He even tried to guilt me that i was ruining his chance at core memories. I reminded him I booked first and that it’s not fair for me to cancel flights and rearrange everything just so he can go fishing. He got pissed and stormed out. At the same time I don’t mean to make him mad at me just because i turned him down, It’s just that i already have planned and paid for the expenses for my trip.
So, AITA for not giving up my vacation so my coworker can go fishing?
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I (22F) work in a small office where vacation days have to be requested months in advance. Last July, I put in for a week off in September because I wanted to visit my family out of state. Everything got approved, and I already booked flights and made plans with my parents. But then last week, my coworker found out my dates and asked if I could switch with him. His reason? He and his buddies decided to do a last minute fishing trip that just happens to fall on the exact same week I’m off.
I politely turned him down, because I already made plans and spent money. He got annoyed and said, C’mon, it’s just family, you can see them anytime. This trip is a once in a lifetime thing with the guys. He even tried to guilt me that i was ruining his chance at core memories. I reminded him I booked first and that it’s not fair for me to cancel flights and rearrange everything just so he can go fishing. He got pissed and stormed out. At the same time I don’t mean to make him mad at me just because i turned him down, It’s just that i already have planned and paid for the expenses for my trip.
So, AITA for not giving up my vacation so my coworker can go fishing?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. My coworker asked me if he can switch with my vacation to have fishing with his buddies.
2. i rejected him cause i already have a plan to visit my family and already paid for the bookings
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA! His vacation is not more important than yours. His lack of planning is not your problem.
NTA. Not only have you arranged the time off, you’ve paid for the flights and notified your family you’ll be visiting.
Only a selfish AH would expect you to suddenly change your well-established plan to suit their whims.
F right off with that.
NTA, you took time off first and booked flights, it’s ridiculous for you to switch.
NTA.
Ask him if he wants to reimburse you for all your cancelled travel expenses…. i’m guessing no….
Of course NTA. He tried to guilt and blame you, not because you were wrong, but because he wanted to get his way.
NTA. If you wait until the last minute, you risk being disappointed.
NTA, but tell him you will do it for $10,000. What, is that too expensive? For once-in-a-lifetime-core memories?
Huh. Maybe he doesn’t want to go fishing all that much after all.
NTA. What a self-absorbed AH that guys is. Fishing with his buddies is a “Core Memory”? You should go fishing with your family and text him about constantly just for that alone.
He can scream and shout and pout and eventually kick rocks. He should’ve planned ahead and it’s absolutely not your fault he waited until last minute when good family is everything
Nta. You followed proper protocol. Enjoy your time off.
NTA-tell him that he is not old enough to go on vacation without adult supervision if this is the kind of whiny baby he turns into every time he doesn’t get exactly what he wants.
NTA. Your coworker is selfish AF.
It’s not about who’s vacation is more valid. You put in first and you have paid reservations. End of conversation.
NTA. Don’t forget a Second feel bad for him. He’s an entitled ass. Go enjoy your time off.
Nta but you need to report this to your boss to get ahead of any retaliation he might do at work when you come back from vacation
Just ask this: “Does that typically work on people?”
And then say “For all I know, this trip is the last time I might get to spend time with my family.
It’s been too long as is.”
NTA
But if want to be:
Next time you see him:
“I can afford to reschedule my trip as soon as you re-emburse me for my non-refundable first class plane tickets. Do you know have venmo or zelle?”
Give him the cost of tickets plus first class upgrade.
Reschedule your trip and buy your family dinner with the first class cash difference.
Jaysus. Men just think women should solve all their lack of planning problems by sacrificing themselves. Hold your ground. This guy would laugh in your face if you asked him to sacrifice your vacation for him.
5k to rearrange my plans. Pay up, it will be worth it to make those core memories.
NTA – he’s just trying to put his lack of adequate planning on you because he can’t take his trip. News flash to this AH…the fish in the rivers will also be there for his core memories another time…
NTA fuck that guy.
Fuck your coworker, respectfully
NTA. I really hate that employers even allow this. You booked the date. They approved it. He did not. Request denied. Not, “hey, go whine and cry to your poor coworker and see if you can pressure, guilt, or manipulate them into sacrificing their already planned and paid for dates.” It’s just chickenshit. Don’t even tell the guy who has the conflicting dates booked and take the target off your back. Besides, your boss has already planned to cover your work, probably pulled someone off a project, spent time training them, etc. Fishing guy’s workload has no coverage or back up planned and would cause a last minute scramble.
NTA. No. You planned in advance and you’ve shelled out money. Why would you give in to his last minute plans.
He can fish anytime.
NTA he just tried his luck on you because you’re young and he thought he could bully you into giving up your time off. Don’t EVER give up your time off for anyone, good on you for standing your ground!
Anyone who respects you would not ask you that. He was extremely rude to try and pressure you into giving up the dates you requested and planned for and he was way out of line for reacting that way.
Please know this and do not forget. Someone being mad at you does not make them right. Often times anger is a sign of manipulation, often used by abusive partners/parents and scammers of all walks. If someone is suddenly angry at you and you did not hit them, or back stab them or rob them or harm them in some way that a reasonable person would take as harm, not their word, take it as a warning of manipulation.
NTA. Just say no.
The correct answer was: Sure, I don’t mind as long as you pay for the rebooking fees for the plane and rental car.
10:1 odds he’d have backed down because that stuff isn’t cheap.
NTA
You planned first, paid for it, and it’s your time off, not some last-minute fishing favour for a grown adult.
Nta..
Also sum up your costs add a bit and tell hil that is the price for changing your plans…
Once in a lifetime should be worth anything
Oh please, do you really have to ask when you already had your ticket booked and plans made.
NTA
He’s a selfish wanker who’s angry because a young woman wouldn’t let him take advantage of her. It’s good that you learned this early on so you know to watch your back with this DB
You made reservations and his was last minute. He getting mad has nothing to do with you. He doesn’t get to take out his frustrations on you just cuz he didn’t plan better. NTA
NTA. Though if the mgmt. will let you take say the same time off 2 weeks later offer to do so. However he will have to pay (upfront) all cancellation fees, higher costs of flights etc. I’m sure he’ll decide it’s maybe not that important after all. Secondary question why doesn’t he ask his friends to change so he can be included?
ALL TOGETHER NOW… “NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE!!!!”
NTA and far, far nicer than me. I would have laughed in his face and said good joke. If he took it further I would have told him to fuck off, what an idiot he is.