This past weekend my (27F) boyfriend (29M) of 6 years and I went out to the closest grocery store to grab some ingredients to make lunch and dinner for the day. Before leaving, I asked if he had his wallet because we both share a credit account that is dedicated to our food expenses, paid via a shared account that we both contribute equally towards. He confirmed he had the shared credit card, so I declared I wasn’t bringing my phone- which usually contains my ID and credit cards. It was the weekend. We were at a grocery store 10 minutes away from home. All I was planning to grab was some fruit and chips.
He decided to stop by the liquor store first, which is right next to the grocery store. I went in with him. I failed to realize that upon going to the checkout with him, they asked for both of our IDs. I stated I didn’t have mine, and the cashier glanced at me and asked for my age. I told her my age, but she apologized and said she couldn’t do the sale. I rightfully agreed and apologized to my boyfriend for not having my ID, saying I should have just waited in the car. He was a little upset.
On the way to the grocery store, he called me weird, suspicious, and immature for not having brought my phone. I told him it’s the weekend and I wasn’t expecting anyone to call/text me, and that I can live without my phone for an hour. And since I had confirmed he brought his wallet before leaving the house, there was truly no need for me to bring my phone/wallet combo. He stated that it’s 2025 and everyone carries a phone- what if we got separated in the grocery store and needed to find each other? I commented that we would find each other eventually, just like I did before I owned a cell phone when I got lost as a 10 year old in a Costco warehouse.
So, AITA for not carrying my phone on my person all the time?
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This past weekend my (27F) boyfriend (29M) of 6 years and I went out to the closest grocery store to grab some ingredients to make lunch and dinner for the day. Before leaving, I asked if he had his wallet because we both share a credit account that is dedicated to our food expenses, paid via a shared account that we both contribute equally towards. He confirmed he had the shared credit card, so I declared I wasn’t bringing my phone- which usually contains my ID and credit cards. It was the weekend. We were at a grocery store 10 minutes away from home. All I was planning to grab was some fruit and chips.
He decided to stop by the liquor store first, which is right next to the grocery store. I went in with him. I failed to realize that upon going to the checkout with him, they asked for both of our IDs. I stated I didn’t have mine, and the cashier glanced at me and asked for my age. I told her my age, but she apologized and said she couldn’t do the sale. I rightfully agreed and apologized to my boyfriend for not having my ID, saying I should have just waited in the car. He was a little upset.
On the way to the grocery store, he called me weird, suspicious, and immature for not having brought my phone. I told him it’s the weekend and I wasn’t expecting anyone to call/text me, and that I can live without my phone for an hour. And since I had confirmed he brought his wallet before leaving the house, there was truly no need for me to bring my phone/wallet combo. He stated that it’s 2025 and everyone carries a phone- what if we got separated in the grocery store and needed to find each other? I commented that we would find each other eventually, just like I did before I owned a cell phone when I got lost as a 10 year old in a Costco warehouse.
So, AITA for not carrying my phone on my person all the time?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) the action I took was not bringing my phone + wallet with me on a grocery run
(2) this action might make me the asshole because I was unprepared. I didn’t have an ID or credit cards or a phone- and in this case it was an inconvenience to my boyfriend because he couldn’t buy items at the liquor store as a result of my actions. Given how upset he was about the fact that we left the store empty-handed, it made me reconsider whether I was actually the asshole for not having my phone. In today’s world maybe it’s absolutely necessary to always have a phone on your person, and maybe I was the asshole because I was unprepared when I went out, when it would have been so easy to just grab my phone on the way out the door and avoid all of the inconvenience. I didn’t want to bring my phone because I didn’t want to feel tied down to the object; most of the time it serves as my wallet anyway, and I don’t get many calls. And when I’m in the grocery store I don’t always bring a purse, so it’s annoying to carry a brick of a phone around while also trying to have my hands free to grocery shop.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. You asked if he had the card, he said yes, so why would you need your phone? His “suspicious” and “immature” comments are overkill for a liquor store mishap. If he really thought phones were mandatory, he could’ve said, “Hey, grab yours just in case”, not berate you after.
I mean, if your phone holds your ID and credit cards, it’s not brilliant to go to the store without it. I don’t think it’s suspicious, but it does seem kind of unintelligent.
OK, so, I’m going to go with a near the fence NTA. You are not the AH for not bringing your phone, you are bordering on being an AH for not having any form of ID or cards or anything on you at all. The issue isn’t so much the phone as it is the fact that you didn’t bring ANYTHING with you. It doesn’t make you an AH, but it is weird and did throw a wrench into your BFs plans.
ETA: it’s not the AH instead of No AH here because I do think your BFs reaction was a bit asshole-ish.
NTA. Is it normal for your BF to lash out at you like this upon facing a minor inconvenience? He could obviously go back later to get booze if needed.
You are not weird, suspicious, or immature for not having brought your phone. This situation is uncovering a lot more about him than it is about you. Your behavior was entirely normal and reasonable. It’s troubling that he would struggle so badly to handle minor disappointment.
Bringing your phone wouldn’t have helped you in this situation. What you needed was your ID. Given you were going shopping it would have made sense to bring your wallet. But it’s really bizarre that the cashier decided to card you when you weren’t the one buying, and you had no way of anticipating that. What if it was a parent shopping with their kid? It’s healthy not to be glued to our phones at all times. NTA.
Call me crazy but sometimes I really enjoy not carrying a fucking piece of plastic & metal that yells at me alla time! But sticking my id in my pocket tends to make things easier. And, gee, bf having to wait a bit & come back around to get alcohol is SUCH a hard thing to do!
NTA
NTA
I know this is the 21st Century, & many of us are glued to our phones, but there’s nothing wrong with stepping away from the phone for 10 minutes (kudos to you for being able to step away from it for even an hour!). There’s nothing “weird,” “suspicious,” or “immature” about that. It’s more immature to call someone weird for leaving things behind.
I’d chalk this up to him being upset that he had to go back to get the alcohol, & let it go.
YTA for not having your ID with you, not just for the liquor store but for your own safety if law enforcement decided to run around demanding ID’s for some nonsense reason. You should always have your ID on you.
Your phone, on the other hand, can stay home sometimes.
NTA. but don’t you know, the floors of grocery stores are riddled with the bodies of people who were separated from their companions for more than 10 minutes. /s.
He knew you didn’t have your phone and cards so he could easily have told you to stay in the car, or go back later. He didn’t need to react like that.
NTA. You told him you’d leave your phone, confirmed he had the card, and the liquor store thing was an honest mistake. His reaction was over the top calling you weird and suspicious for unplugging briefly is unnecessary. It’s totally fine to disconnect for a bit, especially on a short weekend errand.
You literally walk out the house with no ID or not back up card or cash.
Are you serious?
Your boyfriend was not wrong for calling you immature. You are 27. Grow up.
Its one thing to not want to carry a purse around, but to not have the minimum of your ID and a card in case anything happens says a lot.
NTA for not having your phone. You should always carry ID though. Accidents happen.
It is odd to leave without an ID. It was drilled into me to always have my ID, you might die and it makes it harder to ID the body. You might have to go to the ER unconscious and can share information about yourself.
My wife asks before we leave the house if she needs her phone because her clothing never has pockets! Bloody patriarchy 😂 I wouldn’t be mad if she’d left with nothing because I had the wallet (where all physical cards, except her driving licence, are kept) even if it meant no alcohol (which isn’t essential anyway).
NTA but you should always carry ID for whatever reason.
Oh my God— the horror— of— I can barely bring myself to type the words— leaving the house without your phone—?!? How is that even possible…?
Now I really want to see the horror movie where your boyfriend is sucked into a vortex that brings him back to the time when our parents regularly cut us loose in the summer from dawn to dusk without phones, when my friends and I would bike from here to hell and back without phones, and when, if you wanted to talk to a boypal or girlpal who wasn’t currently visiting, the [family(!)] phone literally tethered you to a whole-ass wall. Take a seat, Midsommar.
You’re “weird, suspicious, and immature”? Your boyfriend needs to get an almighty grip. Holy cats.
NTA
NTA. He sounds like he’s projecting on you or just pissed he couldn’t get alcohol.
NTA and all of these people implying it’s a close call because you dared leave the home without ID are weird, sad losers. It was a brief trip to the store in the company of your BF (who is the AH for spazzing at you).
No you are pretty reasonable. The bf is too controlling. Dump him. My # is 76532897535
NTA, at least compared to the terrible things your boyfriend said to you.
That said, I do find it odd when an adult chooses to leave home without ID or phone, you never know when you might unexpectedly need to have it on you.
I have been in the situation your boyfriend is in except I got complaints that we needed to go back and get the ID. Tough shit. You chose to leave it behind so live with your decision.
Strange they didn’t sell him the alcohol. I have been to the liquor store with my underage son and never had a problem