Background: my 7 year old daughter received tickets to Disney from her grandma for myself and her. I am not in a financial position to pay for her to go myself. My mom is paying for the whole trip as a birthday present for my daughter (food, hotel, tickets, etc) My daughters dad is angry that my mom didn’t pay for his son who does not live with us to go along and is now asking me to buy a ticket for him. I didn’t even buy the ticket for my own kid. He told me I was evil for trying to leave his son out. I can’t pull money out of a hat to take another kid. AITA?
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Background: my 7 year old daughter received tickets to Disney from her grandma for myself and her. I am not in a financial position to pay for her to go myself. My mom is paying for the whole trip as a birthday present for my daughter (food, hotel, tickets, etc) My daughters dad is angry that my mom didn’t pay for his son who does not live with us to go along and is now asking me to buy a ticket for him. I didn’t even buy the ticket for my own kid. He told me I was evil for trying to leave his son out. I can’t pull money out of a hat to take another kid. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m not buying a ticket for daughters half brother because I don’t have the money so he isn’t being included in Disney trip
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
If he can’t pay for the additional cost of his son going, I guess he will have to save up and take him later. NTA.
NTA
Lmao! NTA under any circumstances. He can take his own kid to Disney if he wants his son to go. Even if he pays for his son, this is a trip for you and your daughter- his son isn’t invited.
Why can’t he do it?
NTA.
There is always a difference when kids have different parents.
His son is his (and the mother’s )responsibility not you or your mother.
He is the AH for asking you to provide things for his child that he should be providing.
Let him be mad. He has no moral high ground to stand on.
NTA
It’s unacceptable for a guest (you) to invite their own guest (your Ex’s son) to an activity or event. If your Ex wants his son to go to Disney, he needs to pay for it himself.
NTA
These sorts of things are going to continue to happen throughout the lives of these two children. Perhaps not at the scale of a Disney trip but their families don’t 100% overlap. So your ex not only wants you or your mother to pay for his son’s holiday, he wants you to take son without him, without dad. That’s a big ask.
Look you can’t afford it and you’re certainly not going to ask your mother to pay for this child. She doesn’t see him as her family. And do you even want to be responsible for a child that’s not yours?
Evil is a pretty big word. He doesn’t have to say anything to his son.
I get that he’s throwing around his unhappiness but I suggest you stay calm and don’t discuss it with him, no apology or excuses or negotiation
NTA and wow, so many questions:
1 – Why doesn’t HE pay for his own son?
2 – If his son doesn’t live with you, I imagine it’s not like you’re a ‘family unit’ going to Disney
3 – This kid, who again, doens’t live with you, YOU’RE supposed to take him to Disney with your daughter?
4 – Just no. Tell him he can do a dad/son day at Disney if he wants to. Neither you nor your mom have to shell out money that the kid’s own father/family is not willing to pay.
Hope this is fake.
NTA.
He could pay for his son, IF you are amenable to including him. Does your daughter want to include him?
Either way NTA.
Is your daughter’s dad even your partner still?
Your mom got her grandchild and her own child tickets to Disney. Why would I assume your ex thinks your mom would pay for his kid.
This trip is a gift from Grandma. If ex wants his son to go he needs to take son himself, not mess with Grandma’s gift.
NTA. This other kid isn’t related to you or your mom (who paid for the tickets). Your daughter’s dad is being ridiculous.
Info: is this the same guy who tried to get you to take his son with you on a business trip last month? If so, then it may be time for you to stop wasting your time considering his outrageous demands. Every time he makes another suggestion, shut him down right away and move on with your plans.
Info:
Is your daughter’s dad your husband? If he is, was a ticket purchased for daughter’s dad? Does your daughter’s dad have custody of the half brother when Disney trip is planned?
The vagueness of this post leads to wondering if it is intentional
NTA. Your mother is paying for the trip. Your daughter’s half-brother isn’t entitled to go simply because she’s going, no matter how much her father thinks he is. You’re not evil by any stretch.
Definitely NTA. You are under no responsibility obligation or any other reason to do anything for someone else’s child.
Ah is his bank account broken ? How about the ex? That is a them issue.
Nta he should pay for his own son if he wants him to go. Not you who is not his mom.
Why doesn’t he buy a ticket for his kid? Why would that ever be your responsibility?
NTA.
WHAAAT?
NTA… Why doesn’t HE pay for HIS son???
Nta
I’m assuming he does stuff just him and his son (sports, fishing, camping, etc.)?
NTA, it’s a girls trip! At least, that’s how I read it.
NTA. Not your kid, not your problem.
He probably expects you to cook for him, and go school shopping, and pick up after him…. NTA
If you had a kid with another man, do you honestly think your ex would pay to take them on a trip with your daughter? Nta.
NTA your daughter’s dad has some nerve to demand YOU or YOUR MOM pay to take his son on a trip. It’s a bit much to expect you to take another child on the trip much less pay for it as well. Why doesn’t HE pay for his son, assuming you want to take his son.
nta his son isn’t your responsibility
NTA. Your daughter’s dad needs to step up and get his kid a ticket to avoid resentment between the siblings. It’s too much for him to expect those who don’t have a connection with his kid to pay for him.
NTA that kid has nothing to do with you or your mom.
The audacity of some people just floors me. First off, even inviting half brother should be a question, a request dare I say. Second, if the request is granted his financially responsible parent would pay for him.. not his half sisters grandma. TF.
NTA Sounds like he wants to be a Disney dad on a deadbeat budget. What does he contribute to the relationship?
Dad needs to reach out then to his, and sons mum and mums parents to cover his and sons trip to accompany them or just tell son. We will do a guys thing us two
NTA, life’s not fair or even. Now if it was Dad’s mom that was paying for it and she refused to take the other child that’s different and grandma WBTAH. However this grandma doesn’t have to pay for a kid she’s not a grandparent too
Absolutely NTA
NTA
Are his parents buying your child expensive gifts? I think not.
This isn’t even a gray area because your mother has absolutely no relationship to the child.
Not to mention that you really don’t want to be responsible for ferrying around your husband’s child who doesn’t live with you.
I live in SoCal and so have been to Disney a number of times with children of family and friends. It is not an “easy” outing because kids get tired and over-stimulated and so you need to have a relationship with the children where you are fully in charge so there are no meltdowns and everyone’s priorities get met.
You didn’t mention the ages but is your daughter actually friendly with the boy? Do they have the same interests.
Not to mention this is a bonding time with you and your daughter when the focus will be on her birthday experience – rightfully so.
Also Disney is insanely expensive in terms of the food and souvenirs or if you want to get any of the adds on which cut ride waiting times.
As others have pointed out this is something that needs to be nipped in the bud because as life goes on your daughter is going to have other things from your mother.
Again is your husband’s family providing your daughter with expensive stuff?
Why aren’t his parents, his birth mother and the father chipping in.
Do you have a court ordered communication app?
If not, get one and use it. I doubt he would make outrageous demands like this if he knew the court could see them.
“ this is my mom’s trip and she invited us… I can’t invite more people. I’m not trying to leave your son out. I’m just going on a vacation we were invited to.”
If you want to, you can tell him if he wants his son to come along with you he can pay for it … but I’m sure your mom wouldn’t be interested in that
NTA, my ex (my daughter’s dad, he also has the half sibling and 2 step siblings) also is an absolute jealous nutcase. His kids and bonus kids are not my responsibility. His $200/month in child support also does not even cover daycare let alone the current vacation we’re on. But that didn’t stop him from calling 1st day of our vacation and yelling about him having to pay child support while I’m on my “6th vacation”. Literally my family assists greatly with helping me provide awesome experiences for my kids. So definitely not the a-hole. Enjoy your vacation and let him wallow in his jealousy. That’s what I’m doing lol.
Updateme
NTA
You are not the other child’s mother. Period. No more needs to be said.
NTA 😂 He expects your mom to pay for his kid? That’s adorable!
Info how old is the son, does your family reject him, is this just a 3 generation girls trip?
If it’s just the two of you, then NTA. It’s a girls’ trip. Maybe dad can do something special with his son while you’re away.
NTA – if he wants the kid to go, he can pay for it.
NTA… And even if you did, would you be taking him with you, to take care of as well on a vacation? Ugh, hell no. Stay strong so you can enjoy your vacation with your daughter!
NTA that’s not your child nor stepchild, so they don’t have any responsibility to gift your daughter’s brother a ticket. My grandparents took me and their grandkids multiple places, we’re all half siblings, so we have at least 10+ siblings on our respective sides between the three of us. None of our parents or siblings ever had any problems with my grandparents only ever including their grandkids ( I wanna note my grandparents don’t have and never really had step grandkids). Your child’s father is weird and if he wants his son to go to Disney all he gotta do is take him
NTA. It’s a present from your mom for one, for 2 that’s not YOUR kid…
My ex mother-in-law and her husband took my youngest daughter and her bestie to Disney. They were paying for everything. It was a birthday gift promised several years ahead of time. I was working at a hotel and earned loyalty points for some aspects of my job performance. I offered to cover the hotel for them. They asked if I wanted to join at my own expense. However, they offered to cover my plane tickets. I joined and we had a great time! I did not try to convince them to take my other children. Not all relationships are the same.
That being said, WHY? should you feel any obligation to take anyone with you? Do you frequently take her brother? Even if you had money coming out of your ears, why is his son your responsibility?
Your ex husband’s problems are no longer your problems. That happened when those divorce papers were signed. If he wants his son to go to Disney, he needs to figure it out.
(If you have a good relationship with his son, that is wonderful. I’m just saying it is a choice, not a responsibility)
NTA. “Buy your own kid a ticket and take them yourself. I am not responsible for YOUR child”
NTA. This is a joke, right? He’s not even your child. Wild shit.
NTA I can’t believe entitled ppl like this exist. Even if the father bought a ticket for his son, you don’t have to put up with a child that’s not yours.
NTA Unfortunately, siblings aren’t always given access to the same benefits. It sounds like your mom made this whole thing possible. Your daughter’s dad is being completely unreasonable. It sucks for his son, but that’s not a you problem.