For Mother’s Day this year my siblings and I decided we want to do a fun siblings photo shoot for our mom. We had been discussing the poses and were deciding what to wear when my sister asked what her husband should wear… This confused me because yes he is married and I love my brother in law but was hoping to get just the siblings for our mom. I even suggested he can come and be in some of them and my sister and him should get some cute couple photos while we are already taking photos. Am I the asshole for not wanting him in these SIBLING photos??
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For Mother’s Day this year my siblings and I decided we want to do a fun siblings photo shoot for our mom. We had been discussing the poses and were deciding what to wear when my sister asked what her husband should wear… This confused me because yes he is married and I love my brother in law but was hoping to get just the siblings for our mom. I even suggested he can come and be in some of them and my sister and him should get some cute couple photos while we are already taking photos. Am I the asshole for not wanting him in these SIBLING photos??
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Not inviting my brother in law to the sibling photo shoot for our mom.
2. This possibly makes me an asshole because he is part of our family and he is like a brother to us so maybe I’m a total ass for not inviting him!
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I’d just let him be included if your mom loves him, they’re pictures it’s not like excluding him does any good for your mom.
I hated not being part of the family photos because I married in, it was awful.
NTA. These are sibling pix. However, if it’s going to cause issues just drop it. If he’s included, then include everyone and no matchy cute outfits. If your sis brings that up, tell her it isn’t a sibling photo shoot. It’s a family photo shoot.
NTA.
NTA. Unless they’ve been married for a super long time I don’t think it’s bad to not have him in SIBLING photos. Especially since it’s a Mother’s Day gift he could do that for his own mother instead. If it were family photos I’d think that was messed up but for just a sibling thing I think it’s ok. I mean technically he’s not everyone’s sibling he’s your sister’s husband soooo doesn’t really fit the description of “sibling photos”.
Sibling photos are so your mom can point to it and say “all of these people came out of my vagina”, which, hopefully, your BIL did not. (ETA: NTA)
YTA. For family or sibling photo shoots I would have everyone come, do some with spouses/long term partners some without. We do this every single time we do photos.
NTA he isn’t a sibling and your mom isn’t his mother. No big deal. He can do something like this for his own mom.
NTA. The idea is for adult photos of child posts. Recreate the great one! It should just be the original kids.
That being said sure while you are at it get some couples shots. Maybe one of the group. But he can’t and won’t be in all of them
My siblings and I did this last year, 4 kids. 3 partners and 2 “grandchildren”. We all took turns getting a few couples photos. But the main shots were the 4 kids!!
NTA
These aren’t family photos but sibling photos and you made a super valid suggestion for a compromise
NTA, I think what you’re doing is fine. You didn’t even say “BIL can’t come” you had a good compromise, some with just your parents and your siblings and some with your BIL included. How is that wrong? This is so weird to me. That’s how photo shoots work, even if it was a whole family shoot. You’ll have different groupings of people for different shots otherwise it’s the same photo over and over.
I did a sibling/parent photo shoot, probably a decade ago. My sister wasn’t married but I was. I didn’t include my husband bc, well, he’s not a sibling. It was just meant to be a nice updated picture of the family I was born into. (It was also for my mom for Mother’s Day)
I think your an asshole to make a point of it yes.
On the day of there will inevitably be photos of the various groups. The more people there the more options there are and the more fun (In turn better pictures of everyone)
You and your opinion can be heard after the photos are ready for choosing by everyone for whom the gift is from
Being this upset just to have him considered instead of invited and welcomed without issue – you can see why that makes you sound a little uptight and beside the point?
NTA, that is very weird behavior outta him
If he were a stepbrother, would he be invited?
In my family, YWBTA.
I don’t think my family is normal, though.
NTA. Your suggestions were great as well.
Nta, but be clear with your sister beforehand. Tell her, this is a siblings photo shoot. She will expect your mom to put up the pic with BIL in it, so cut it out completely. Don’t give her that option; say you can take a quick couples picture. But we are doing siblings only!!! People that mom birth
I think “sibling photos” says it all. I am confused by her confusion. NTA
Soft YTA.. let me explain.. as we get older and start getting married, our family group expands. Spouses should always be included in family photos.
Possibly your sister is the only one married… As soon all of you will be and the whole idea of your family is going to evolve. There’s also going to be children. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to give your mother a portrait of her entire family, including her grandchildren?
The family as you knew it growing up in the same household is a part of the past. Embrace the future and everything wonderful it holds.
Ask your sister if she wants everybody to think that she’s married to her brother
NTA
Whose idea is it? Your sister’s or BIL’s? Are they the kind of people who don’t have an identity outside of the couple or is BIL controlling?
NTA. How weird for your sister to ask. Just have them do couple shots and only present the sibling only photos to your mom.