Backstory my sister in law and I were best friends since we met about 2 years ago. I 23 f and my husband 25 m decided to go to the courthouse and get married. When we told my sister in law she was not happy. Her story changed like 5 times but by the end she stuck with apparently we shouldn’t get married because I have trust issues and we haven’t gone to pre-marital counseling. We think she is jealous because she is his older sister almost 30 and wanted to get married first. But she didn’t say that and she even called my mother in law to yell about her disapproval and how she shouldn’t support it either. I am still grieving the fact that my relationship I thought I had with her is gone and she was even going to be my maid of honor. I am devastated and seeing her at my wedding next year will break my heart more. My husband’s family has this unspoken rule that when his sister is acting crazy it’s the other party’s responsibility to make up because she never will. I’m not going to sit here and enable bad behavior but I don’t want to be the bad guy in their eyes with my new family. AITA for not inviting my sister in law to our wedding?
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Backstory my sister in law and I were best friends since we met about 2 years ago. I 23 f and my husband 25 m decided to go to the courthouse and get married. When we told my sister in law she was not happy. Her story changed like 5 times but by the end she stuck with apparently we shouldn’t get married because I have trust issues and we haven’t gone to pre-marital counseling. We think she is jealous because she is his older sister almost 30 and wanted to get married first. But she didn’t say that and she even called my mother in law to yell about her disapproval and how she shouldn’t support it either. I am still grieving the fact that my relationship I thought I had with her is gone and she was even going to be my maid of honor. I am devastated and seeing her at my wedding next year will break my heart more. My husband’s family has this unspoken rule that when his sister is acting crazy it’s the other party’s responsibility to make up because she never will. I’m not going to sit here and enable bad behavior but I don’t want to be the bad guy in their eyes with my new family. AITA for not inviting my sister in law to our wedding?
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To add as well we went to the courthouse and she never showed up. We are now planning for next years wedding and I do not want to invite her.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I did not invite my sister in law to my wedding. Am I the asshole for not inviting her?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Guests at a wedding should be people that support the wedding, not those who are against it.
NTA and do NOT enable her asshole behavior.
NTA but don’t take on this burden, make this all your fiancé’s problem – he needs to own the decision and take all the backlash and tell his family it’s nothing to do with you to protect you from their behaviour and if they come to you just say “I can’t control how he feels, maybe if sister apologises he will change his mind but I can’t change it for him. She really hurt him with her disrespect of our relationship”
NTA You SIL is correct you should try some pre-marital counseling, you and your husband are going to have to set standards for how to deal with his family and sister and how it will be his responsibility to do it.
NTA if it was such a big deal she should’ve kept it to herself either way it has nothing to do with her yall are getting married for yall not her remember that!! Sometimes friends aren’t who we think they are and even if yall do become friends again I hope you guys can work through it and see the better side of things!
NTAH – Like you said, don’t apologize because she’s won’t. Screw her, their excusing her adult tantrums…don’t invite her and don’t allow her to treat you like trash
NTA But I advise you to set your boundaries with your sister-in-law fairly quickly. Her family accepts her bullshit behavior and forces you to accept it. Imagine her behavior in your future life, with children, if she can have this type of behavior?
NTA. You and your fiancé decided to get married. Your SIL reacted poorly. For whatever reason she was angry. However how she handles her anger has nothing to do with you. Her family is aware about her erratic behavior and are afraid of her. Expect some blowback when you don’t invite her.