I’ll try to keep this kind of short so it’s more digestible, I (F26) am working part time at a fast food restaurant to help pay for a computer I want to buy, I’ve been here for about a month and everything has been fine so far, one of my co-workers (M34) James, bought me a stuffed animal for my “1 month anniversary” he called it.
Little tiny back story, He’s been a bit pushy and overly helpful so much so that it’s kind of giving me a weird feeling, My manager even scheduled me on opposite shifts from him because she noticed it as well so I only really see him for an hour some days. I texted my boyfriend that I didn’t want to bring the stuffy home because the whole thing just felt weird and he suggested I just leave it in my locker, which I did.
James has my phone number because we are all in a group text chat to communicate call outs or anything really work related, Around 2am last night James texted me (Outside of the group chat) and I’ll copy and paste it “I’m kind of offended that you left my gift in your locker but I get it. Not everyone can afford jewelry.” He’s referring to a necklace that I was showing my other co-workers (that are really sweet!) that my boyfriend had bought me.
This text combined with everything and especially being at 2 in the morning kinda just sent me off the rails, I texted him back saying to NEVER text me anything that isn’t work related and that I find it inappropriate that he’s comparing his gift to something that my boyfriend got me, and he replied “This is work related”. I’ve since blocked him.
Am I being an asshole here? Or maybe I’m over reacting? I just feel like it’s very creepy and I have no idea how else I should’ve responded :p
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I’ll try to keep this kind of short so it’s more digestible, I (F26) am working part time at a fast food restaurant to help pay for a computer I want to buy, I’ve been here for about a month and everything has been fine so far, one of my co-workers (M34) James, bought me a stuff animal for my “1 month anniversary” he called it.
Little tiny back story, He’s been a bit pushy and overly helpful so much so that it’s kind of giving me a weird feeling, My manager even scheduled me on opposite shifts from him because she noticed it as well so I only really see him for an hour some days. I texted my boyfriend that I didn’t want to bring the stuffy home because the whole thing just felt weird and he suggested I just leave it in my locker, which I did.
James has my phone number because we are all in a group text chat to communicate call outs or anything really work related, Around 2am last night James texted me (Outside of the group chat) and I’ll copy and paste it “I’m kind of offended that you left my gift in your locker but I get it. Not everyone can afford jewelry.” He’s referring to a necklace that I was showing my other co-workers (that are really sweet!) that my boyfriend had bought me.
This text combined with everything and especially being at 2 in the morning kinda just sent me off the rails, I texted him back saying to NEVER text me anything that isn’t work related and that I find it inappropriate that he’s comparing his gift to something that my boyfriend got me, and he replied “This is work related”. I’ve since blocked him.
Am I being an asshole here? Or maybe I’m over reacting? I just feel like it’s very creepy and I have no idea how else I should’ve responded :p
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I blocked my co worker and told him to never text me anything non work related, I feel this may make me the AH because it could be an overreaction
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – He’s a bit scary. Is there an HR dept? I would notify them.
NTA. This is inappropriate and super creepy. I would be reporting this to management.
No you don’t even know this guy. When this happen it’s because the guy has a crush on you.
Make a FORMAL complaint to HR or district manager and look for another job if things don’t change. Block his number and tell him directly: Do not call me, do not give me gifts. Please keep your distance unless it is specifically related to a work task. You are making me uncomfortable, and it is unacceptable. NTA
NTA, and show your manager the texts, he’s being completely inappropriate.
NTA bring your manager back in. That’s really inappropriate, and something that might go unnoticed is that he’s looking through your locker. You now have text evidence that he’s creeping on you and making unwanted advances, when he KNOWS you’re in a relationship. The creep deserves zero sympathy.
NTA, this is unwanted attention and needs to be taken to management immediately.
NTA, you can do with gifts that you got “whatever you want”. You can leave them on the next park bench, re-gift them, donate them, ….. You do not have to bring presents in your home if this creeps you out or at least lets you feel not comfortable.
A “stuffed animal” – and he knew that you left it in your locker at work? Smells like GPS-Tracker or hidden cam inside. Sorry, i do not want to create fear – It would just be the next best explanation “why” he knew about it. And “why” he tries to guildtrip
NTA.
I really hate when guys try to compete with a significant other. Super ick
Show the text to your manager. He should be fired.
No they’re being weird. That’s shelf space and a dust magnet. And he’s 10yrs older and got you a plushie? NTA
This is not short. TLDR.
NTA that’s super creepy
How did he know you left it in your locker?
NTA but please please PLEASE report this. since you are leaving anyways, you cannot be retaliated against, but you might just save the next person.
NTA
You say you left in your locker. Is it solid or open locker? Can he see into it? Just wondering how he knows. Either way this is beyond inappropriate. I would report to your manager along with a detailed list of his other previous creepy behaviour. Are they willing to schedule you with no overlap at all? Keep him blocked but be aware of your surroundings at work especially when coming or going as he may try to escalate and see you after hours.
I would also suggest that your manager remind the rest of the staff to not share personal employee information. If he escalates you might want to consider a new job not that you did anything wrong but to keep you out of harm’s way. I would call a non emergency police number to see what your options are if he escalates in any way.
Sorry you have to deal with this. Don’t let people try to dismiss or downplay his actions. It is inappropriate to be pursuing a work colleague who hasn’t shown interest and sending jealous late night messages. Especially now after you’ve clearly told him to back off. You do not owe politeness or your time to someone who is overstepping normal boundaries.
I would inform management. Clearly wants more than you want to give.
I’m
NTA Please lodge a complaint about him
You should be proud of yourself for identifying it is problem and reacting perfectly
You already knew you weren’t TA. You also knew he was out of line.
If your job has an hr show them the texts and explain what’s been going on. I understand not all ff places do have hr. If not then yeah like others have said show your manager and use the words I feel unsafe around him, say this to her as well if there is one. His behavior is not ok.
NTA. He definitely crossed the boundary and you were on point to call it out.
NTA. Get rid of it. Don’t accept anything from him again.
Tell him to not contact you outside of the group chat again. If he does screenshot and block. Tell your manager you have blocked him and why.
His actions are out of line. Please keep everything as evidence. Keep your manager and higher ups informed. Men like James are dangerous.