AITA for not kissing my bf when he hasn’t brushed his teeth?

r/

I 26F and my bf 25M have been together for five years and this has become a more recent problem as in within the last year or two.

My bf does intermittent fasting so he doesn’t actually eat until dinner time, but not eating gives him hungry breath (if you know you know). The problem is when he comes home from work and initiates kissing I get put off by the hungry breath and tell him honestly you need to eat or brush your teeth first.

The problem is he gets quite offended and quiet afterwards and most of the time doesn’t do either of those things like he doesn’t want kiss at all now. It makes me feel like an asshole because I don’t want to put him down or make him feel gross about himself but I really can’t deal with bad breath when being intimate with someone.

I should also mention I’ve been trying to persuade him to give tongue scraping a try and even bought him two scrapers. He hasn’t ever used it before but always says he should get into it.

It’s frustrating because I want to kiss him and be intimate with him but I actually can’t do it unless he freshens up.

So aita for shutting down kissing and upsetting him for telling him to fix his breath?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    ^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.

    I 26F and my bf 25M have been together for five years and this has become a more recent problem as in within the last year or two.

    My bf does intermittent fasting so he doesn’t actually eat until dinner time, but not eating gives him hungry breath (if you know you know). The problem is when he comes home from work and initiates kissing I get put off by the hungry breath and tell him honestly you need to eat or brush your teeth first.

    The problem is he gets quite offended and quiet afterwards and most of the time doesn’t do either of those things like he doesn’t want kiss at all now. It makes me feel like an asshole because I don’t want to put him down or make him feel gross about himself but I really can’t deal with bad breath when being intimate with someone.

    I should also mention I’ve been trying to persuade him to give tongue scraping a try and even bought him two scrapers. He hasn’t ever used it before but always says he should get into it.

    It’s frustrating because I want to kiss him and be intimate with him but I actually can’t do it unless he freshens up.

    So aita for shutting down kissing and upsetting him for telling him to fix his breath?

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. Judgement_Bot_AITA Avatar

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I think I’m the asshole for making my bf feel bad about having bad breath

    Help keep the sub engaging!

    Don’t downvote assholes!

    Do upvote interesting posts!

    Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ

    Subreddit Announcements

    Follow the link above to learn more


    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

    Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.

  3. JamSkully Avatar

    NTA. Gross. Dude needs to clean his teeth & stop the boo-hooing.

  4. Bigsoupmmm Avatar

    Nta not ur fault he got dooty breathe

  5. NightThis7773 Avatar

    Hey OP! Ive been on the other end of this. Just kindly express that you love him and kiss him on the cheeks, when the situation arises. Makes a world of difference.

    Also hungry breath is a thing, your body starts producing ketone bodies when the blood sugar is too low, and the endproduct is acetone (nail polish remover) which is excreeted from the lungs.

    Edit: NAH, just meet in the middle like adults 😇

  6. imperfectbean Avatar

    NTA. You’re just being honest with him and he doesn’t appreciate the feedback.

  7. Due-Construction-190 Avatar

    NTA. He needs to brush his teeth.

  8. CentipedeEater Avatar

    NTA hes disgusting and VERY wrong

  9. paintlulus Avatar

    Yuk. It takes 2 minutes to brush one’s teeth. What else won’t he do?

  10. NonProfitEmoKid Avatar

    NTA, but I think you could frame it in a more empathetic way. If it were me, I might say something like “I love you, and love that you are getting so much out of intermittent fasting. It just tends to cause issues with breath later in the day. It’s not you, it’s just a byproduct of fasting that I guess I’m pretty sensitive to. I’m fine with waiting to make out til after you get a chance to eat, or you can figure out what works best for you to freshen up when you get home.”

  11. Upper-Sail-4253 Avatar

    You have to admit that it must be embarrassing to be told every day that your breath REEKS! But WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! Hahahaha! How old is he? Can’t believe he hasn’t caught on yet…. Just tell him, look, bf, when you fast, your breath reeks, due to chemical processes. You must drink a bunch of water and brush your teeth before we can kiss. Sorry!

  12. Iamme_93 Avatar

    My partner doesn’t fast but his breath can STINK if he tries kissing me before he has brushed his teeth or at night after we’ve had dinner and had something garlicky or equally as smelly. I won’t do it, I say I love ya but your breath smells and I’m really sensitive to it. He will then go and brush his teeth and give me a kiss after, sorted 🤷🏼‍♀️ on the flip side I won’t kiss him if I haven’t brushed my teeth or eaten something strong, just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to put up with stinky breath.

  13. De-bi Avatar

    NTA and wtf, brushing your teeth is the BARE minimum and yet so many men are not doing it. He is a growing man, for fuck’s sake 🙄🙄🙄
    If he wants you to kiss him, he brush his teeth. THE END.