Throwaway account,I had an affair with a married man, I had no idea that he was married but once i found out it took some time for me to cut it off ( 2 days) because i was looking for a way to end it without ME getting the blame from my parent., i was pregnant and by that time it was too late to abort my daughter, I came to find out that his wife was also pregnant and about to give birth in a couple of weeks, i told her and she cursed me out and told me to leave her husband alone even though that’s what I planned on doing. I was able to find his parents contact info and messaged them asking if they wanted a relationship with their grandchild and telling them about the affair etc, i felt that there was no need for my daughter to be deprived of having grandparents because her father lied, his parents demanded a paternity test and when it was revealed that their son was the father they ended up calling me a homewrecker and other degrading words, they called MY daughter a bastard and said that she wouldn’t be apart of their family.
They compared my daughter to their daughter in laws soon to be born child and said that they wanted a real grandchild, fast forward, their “real” grandchild ends up having down syndrome, my daughters fathers siblings came to find out through their parents that i had a child and wanted to be apart of her life, it turns out that their sil ( my daughters fathers wife) was a “daughter in law from hell” and that they did not like her behaviour, that she was rude, racist, etc. I agreed to let them have a relationship with my daughter as she was their kids’ cousins.
I ended up meeting my current husband and together we have 4 kids, my daughters aunts and uncles ended up going NC with their parents and their brother ( my daughters BIO dad) after they tried multiple times to invite themselves to their house when ever my daughters aunts and uncles had her for a sleepover or just to get a glimpse of her and take pictures to SEND THEM to her son and daughter in law, for what reason? I have no idea,
My daughter is currently 17 and she KNOWS that she has a half sibling who has down syndrome and that she is an affair child. She has a good relationship with her cousins, aunts and her “half siblings”( my other kids from my husband). My in-laws sent me a message that they were going for “grandparent rights” and that my daughter’s biological father and his wife were going to court to get some kind of custody of MY daughter. Mind you, my daughter has NEVER once met them and refuses to meet them.
AITA??
Comments
Lmao
17 years… and they want to sue for custody now?
Get out of here with this bullshit fake story.
Calling a literal child a “bastard” disqualifies them from ever demanding a relationship. They insulted you, degraded your daughter, and made it clear they didn’t want her until it suited them. Your job is to protect your child, not give toxic people access just because of blood.
You don’t owe them anything. They made their feelings super clear from the start and said some really harsh stuff about your kid. Now that things aren’t going their way with the “real” grandchild, suddenly they want a relationship? Nah. Protect your daughter from that kind of negativity. If her aunts and uncles want to be involved and are being positive, that’s great for her, but the grandparents already showed who they are.
of course not. Let them go to court and make up BS threats. You have done very well!
She is 17. They won’t do anything lol
Trust the force.
Don’t engage with them – talk to a lawyer. Your daughter is 17 and it’s a little late in the game for them to try for any custody. Not to mention there is the issue of 17 years of child support that your ex is responsible for.
My advice would be to let your daughter know there is interest from her bio dad and grandparents in meeting her and let her make the decision. She’ll be 18 in a year or less so it will be hers sooner rather than later.
From you have posted you have a pretty open relationship with her – now is not the time to start hiding things. Especially if your ex’s parents reach out to her independently of you knowing which sounds like it is a possibility given their lack of boundaries.
Let them go to court. 17 is old enough to decide what she wants.
They can’t even respect their son’s affairs spawns who tfs gonna give em rights over a child they disowned? Let the lawyers slap em with reality.
NTA if they have never met her it will be hard for them to get any kind of custody.
I hope they do take you to court. The judge will laugh in their faces and you’ll walk out of there with 17 years worth of back childsupport.
NTA
By the time this even goes to court she’s gonna be 18. I wouldn’t worry about it. But, you might want to go after the father for 18 years of back child support. He owes you that for sure. NTA.
NTA and not your problem. After 17 years of legal abandonment, they also abandoned their rights to access or any sort of relationship like 15 years ago (regardless of anything they ‘said’ about or to you). Worst case is you have to take a day off work to attend a quick hearing and watch them get dressed down for wasting the court’s time. A reasonable judge will also assume that she can contact anyone she pleases once she turns 18 and that forcing visitation with strangers on a 17 year old girl is traumatizing all by itself.
Every part of this story is a mess.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
NTA you tell them, well okay then you go waste that money.
Nope. Nope. Nope. What asswipes that bio dad and his wife/parents turned out to be. Carry on. Protect your daughter and family and do what you do to have a good life with those who love and respect you and your daughter and family.
As for those threatening court case – your daughter is 17! Even if they go forward what are the chances of them having a court date before she turns 18? They are threatening you to manipulate and torture you and your child!
Fuck them. Block and no contact would be my feeling. They already showed you who they are in the beginning. None of them are worth one iota of consideration. Too little too damned late.
NTA. Your daughter is not a consolation prize.
Fake ass
Your daughter is 17 years old???
That’s hilarious 🤣
NTA. Even if this is a fake story, she’s 17 and can decide where she can live. Considering that these people never made an attempt to have a relationship with her (unless you can count the borderline harassment theie attempt) I don’t see how they think they can get custody of her.
Meaning they’re up to something and you can ignore/stall until she’s 18 or talk a lawyer and then scare them away.
NTA they were very clear that they didn’t want to be part of her life.
Grandparents rights are generally for if the grandparents in question already have a significant relationship with the child and the parent/s are trying to cut off contact. They’ve never had contact with her.
Also, she’s 17. its her choice at this point who she wants in her life and I doubt they will be able to get through the process before she’s 18. The fact that they have a down syndrome child in the house works against her bio dad on custody too. Especially if the child needs significant care. I highly suspect a judge would laugh them out of court.
Honestly, the worst case scenario is probably that she’ll have to see her bio dad and grandparents a few times before she’s 18 and doesn’t have to anymore.