AITA for not letting my colleague “borrow” my charger after she’s kept two of mine before?

r/

At work, I usually keep a phone charger at my desk because my battery dies quickly. In the past, a colleague has borrowed my chargers and then “forgotten” to return them. Twice I’ve had to go to her desk and ask for them back, and both times they came back weeks later looking worn out.

Yesterday, she came over again saying her phone was at 5% and asked to use my charger “just for a bit.” I told her I’d prefer not to lend it because the last two times I didn’t get mine back quickly. She rolled her eyes and said I was making a big deal over “a simple charger” and that I should learn to be more generous.

Now a couple of people in the office think I was being petty, but I feel like I’m just setting boundaries after being taken advantage of.

AITA?

Comments

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    At work, I usually keep a phone charger at my desk because my battery dies quickly. In the past, a colleague has borrowed my chargers and then “forgotten” to return them. Twice I’ve had to go to her desk and ask for them back, and both times they came back weeks later looking worn out.

    Yesterday, she came over again saying her phone was at 5% and asked to use my charger “just for a bit.” I told her I’d prefer not to lend it because the last two times I didn’t get mine back quickly. She rolled her eyes and said I was making a big deal over “a simple charger” and that I should learn to be more generous.

    Now a couple of people in the office think I was being petty, but I feel like I’m just setting boundaries after being taken advantage of.

    AITA?

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    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I refused to lend my colleague my phone charger because in the past she’s kept two of mine for weeks and returned them in worse condition. She feels I’m overreacting and being petty over “a simple charger,” and now a few coworkers think I should have just helped her. I’m wondering if I might be the asshole for not helping her in the moment, even though I felt she’s taken advantage of me before.

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  3. keesouth Avatar

    NTA. If they have an issue they can let her borrow their chargers

  4. Any_Pirate422 Avatar

    She needs to get her own damn charger instead of relying on you!

  5. scarlettslegacy Avatar

    NTA. My charger stays with me. If you need to charge your phone, guess the phone stays with me, too.

  6. DebtMindless6356 Avatar

    Next time tell her x y ,& z said you can use theirs. Don’t bring it in fior a few days,  early all phones will hold a full charge throughout the day. NTA

  7. WholeFox5564 Avatar

    NTA – but if you do lend one out just go and get it an hour or so later. I make sure I have a charger a totally different colour to the usual ones so I can spot mine from across the office it someone borrows it

  8. Old_Fart_on_pogie Avatar

    NTA – Maybe if she didn’t make such a big deal over returning the chargers people would be willing to share. Or on the other hand, if she is running out of juice, she can get her own charger to keep at her desk. Damn things are cheap and come with every electronic device on the planet. It shouldn’t be an IQ test for her to figure it out.

  9. Savafan1 Avatar

    NTA If you want to be nice you could let her plug into the charger while it is on your desk.

  10. CellistOk5452 Avatar

    NTA why are your other coworkers involved at all?

  11. FairyFartDaydreams Avatar

    NTA tell them they can loan out thier chargers or maybe the office manager needs to order a couple for the office (multihead) but that you take care of your things and co worker returns things messy and you don’t need to give your shit away for free

  12. CndySoul Avatar

    NTA. It’s totally reasonable to set boundaries, especially after she’s kept your chargers and returned them in bad shape. You’re not obligated to keep lending stuff out, especially when it’s not respected. Maybe suggest she gets her own charger or offer to help her find a cheap one online if you want to smooth things over. Either way, you’re not being petty, self-respect isn’t a crime!

  13. WholeAd2742 Avatar

    NTA

    She’s already stolen 2 of yours

  14. Haunting_Lemon_6594 Avatar

    She can go to and buy one pretty easily… NTA

  15. MorganFreemanCoPilot Avatar

    NTA. If it’s so simple, she can arrange a charger for herself. And for those who think you’re being petty, they can offer up their chargers instead.

  16. RoyallyOakie Avatar

    NTA…She made a big deal over a simple charger by not giving it back when she was done.

  17. Plus_Ad_9181 Avatar

    She should learn to bring her own fucking charger. She’s a grown ass adult, why is she mooching off everyone else?

  18. Worried_Suit4820 Avatar

    The ‘couple of people in the office’ can supply her with their chargers. Job done.

  19. DCpurpleTart33 Avatar

    Why do other people in your office even have an opinion? Ugh I really dislike people like this- they make you want to not be generous or helpful because then it makes more work for you! Definitely NTA. Can you offer to charge her phone at YOUR desk where your charger stays put?

  20. SheriffJetsaurian Avatar

    Just offer to sell it to them. $25 (market value) + $10-20 convenience fee

  21. Separate-Debate3839 Avatar

    NTA, but you could’ve offered to let her charge her phone at your desk

  22. KaliTheBlaze Avatar

    NTA. If she asks agin, offer to plug her phone into your charger at your desk, rather than letting her take the charger. She gets her phone charged, you don’t lose your charger

  23. Jane-Austen-101 Avatar

    NTA- 
    If it’s a simple
    Charger she can buy one herself to keep at work. No one is entitled to your personal items. Full stop 

  24. LhasaApsoSmile Avatar

    NTA. We all have multiple chargers. I always keep one at the office. One in my purse. Lady – you are responsible for your phone. And to all the other people in the office: why didn’t you offer yours?

  25. kilgirlie Avatar

    Isn’t this a word for word repost from a couple months ago?

  26. Green-Dragon-14 Avatar

    Say yes I’m being petty when other people don’t respect other people’s property they don’t get to use it again. That simple. NTA

  27. Opposite_Star3975 Avatar
  28. paul_rudds_drag_race Avatar

    NTA

    “My charger isn’t available. It’ll be no big deal for my to tell you where you can buy a simple charger. Would you like that information?”

  29. CandylandCanada Avatar

    Better question: Why do you care what uninformed, unaffected people think about this situation?

    The only thing that you did wrong was explaining to the mooch why you refuse to let her damage more of your property. A simple “no, thank you” would have confused her, which is all that she deserves.

    NTA

  30. EsmeWeatherwax7a Avatar

    You should learn to be more generous? No, she should learn to be more responsible. You were generous until she abused it and declared it your responsibility to supply her with infinite chargers.
    NTA

  31. OffKira Avatar

    NTA. You let her take advantage once already when she didn’t return the first charger right away, you’d be a fool to let her get away with this again; so what if you’re “petty”? Then she’s entitled and juvenile, and anyone saying otherwise is an enabler that can continue with their enabling by being the ones to lend their things to her.

    Just her rolling her eyes is enough for me – even if there was no history here, you wouldn’t be obligated to lend her anything, and her responses would still be ridiculous and irritating. If it’s just a charger, then she can buy and bring as many as she wants.

  32. AITA476510719 Avatar

    In my opinion: NTA

    You’re more than welcome to use my charger. You aren’t however, taking my charger back to your desk.

  33. rich-tma Avatar

    NTA you can let her plug her phone in at your desk, which is very generous and shouldn’t be a problem for her.

  34. MyNameisntFree Avatar

    NTA. You can buy cheap chargers in pound shops (dollar stores) so nobody has a good reason to ‘borrow’ someone else’s especially when they have had to ‘borrow’ chargers before. They need to be an adult and buy a charger for themselves.

  35. Kaycee723 Avatar

    She could leave her phone at your desk while it charges. She could borrow access, but not the charger. It’s yours and you don’t have to give it to her. Since she has a problem with her phone perhaps it’s time for her to invest in her own charger.

    NTA

  36. tomram8487 Avatar

    NTA. Only one of you needs to learn something. And it’s her – to buy a darn charger!

  37. Outrageous-forest Avatar

    What is it with people being entitled to items that don’t belong to them? 

    Those saying you should have given it to her are probably the entitled type too.  Or they don’t want her asking them for the same reasons, she doesn’t return things.   So ignore their opinion. 

    Next time be very clear and say “no”,  not “I prefer”.  They push, tell them to ask someone else.  

    Not loaning your charger is not being petty, in this case it’s protecting your property and your ability to use it when you need it.  That’s why you have it,  your phone dies quickly.

    Your coworker is an adult, they can buy a charge to keep at the office. She’s not your child to provide for. 

    NTA

  38. Jallenrix Avatar

    INFO: Why are your coworkers involved in this issue? How did you respond to them?

  39. Motor-Ad5284 Avatar

    You can buy them on Temu for a couple of dollars ,tell her to buy a few to keep at work. NTA.

  40. bubblesaurus Avatar

    NTA

    I would have allowed it, but her phone would have to stay and charge on my desk

  41. Ill-Running1986 Avatar

    NTA. Tell your office people that they can shoulder her battery burdens from now on. 

  42. Logical_Warthog3230 Avatar

    A “worn out” charger?

  43. tbluesterson Avatar

    NTA and if you get flak from coworkers, tell them they can loan her theirs.

  44. No-Chicken-8405 Avatar

    Why do people need Reddit to give them an obvious answer to their issue?

  45. schec1 Avatar

    NTA, sometimes people have the right to be petty and this is one of those times.

    If the coworker respected OP’s property and returned the charger in good condition without having to be chased down, there wouldn’t be an issue with borrowing it again.

    Chargers are pretty cheap and readily available pretty much everywhere , the coworker should look into getting one to keep at their desk.

  46. SavingsRhubarb8746 Avatar

    NTA, although it might have been more tactful to say “No, my battery is pretty unreliable so I need my charger on hand at all times”. That might have enabled you to avoid the office gossip about your pettiness, but there’s no guarantee with someone who is so self-centred as to accuse you of a lack of generosity in those circumstances (specifically, her neglect in not returning the previous chargers until she was asked for them).

  47. Outrageous_Lack8435 Avatar

    5 below has plenty tell her

  48. HetepHeres-I Avatar

    NTA.

    And co-worker is drawing in others seeking sympathy? Poor baby. Just tell the others the truth. “I don’t want to loan it because it’s a PIA to get it back. That person never wants to give it back. If you think I’m being petty, why don’t you just give them yours?” and start blankly at them for as long as it takes.

  49. Legitimate-Drink-173 Avatar

    Thats simple…ask to hold her drivers license, or $40 in cash…which she gets back, when you get your charger back.

  50. ghostman71 Avatar

    NTA. Too bad you can’t have Rick Sanchez throw her in the matrix to teach her a lesson about borrowing phone chargers. 😉

  51. gevander2 Avatar

    NTA

    If other people think you’re being petty, THEY can help her out.

    If you want to help her out to appease the gossip girls, you can plug the charger in at YOUR desk and she can leave her phone there while it charges. Give her a maximum time limit – 30/60/90 minutes – after which you’ll unplug the charger and put it away (or you’ll put it away if she retrieves her phone in less time).

  52. TangledTwisted Avatar

    NTA but I would’ve said you’re welcome to leave your phone at my desk to charge while you’re working. Then the charger doesn’t move and the phone gets charged.

  53. Sweet-Flamingo69 Avatar

    If its just a simple charger, she can go on her break and buy one. She can order off a delivery app and have one delivered. She can remember to bring her own. She can stay off her phone during working hours and preserve the battery. She can plug it up in her car charger.

  54. QueenSema Avatar

    “Leave your phone here and I’ll charge it for you”

  55. Admirable_Summer_917 Avatar

    Sure you can use it. At my desk. Just come get it before my break because I won’t be responsible for it.

  56. useratl Avatar

    Buy a couple cheap crappy ones and let her have them periodically, because, it seems, she’ll be back.

  57. Holiday-Book6635 Avatar

    She can leave her phone with you and charge at your desk.

  58. kittyhm Avatar

    I have a coworker who needed their phone charged. He asked me if he could leave it by my desk on my charger for about an hour. Never once asked to take my property. I’d suggest telling her to turn off the phone and give it to you and you’ll put it on for a bit.

  59. Chance-Work4911 Avatar

    I’d let her charge at your desk. She gets power, you get to keep an eye on your cord.

  60. NOTRadagon Avatar

    NTA

    > She rolled her eyes and said I was making a big deal over “a simple charger” and that I should learn to be more generous.

    If it was that simple, your co worker can buy her own work charger.

  61. Select-Anxiety-1557 Avatar

    INFO: Why are you waiting weeks to get the charger back? It doesn’t take that long to charge a phone!

  62. tehmimikitteh Avatar

    nta. i would’ve kept the worn out ones to give her and just be like “you can keep that at your desk”

  63. Competitive-Care8789 Avatar

    The people who think you are being petty are welcome to lend her their charger.

  64. Bride1234109 Avatar

    NTA. She needs to buy her own. Anyone in the office that has a problem with you not sharing can either let her borrow theirs or can buy her one.

  65. Traditional_Koala216 Avatar

    Or she can be an adult and buy her own charger. NtA.

  66. East-Tangerine1673 Avatar

    Sell it to her.

    If she gives it back before you leave, for the day, you can give her her money back. If she forgets, the money is yours to keep. Be sure to charge her enough to get a new one. 

    Or

    Keep your charger and her phone charging at your desk. 

  67. DazzlingPoint6437 Avatar

    NTA and I’m wondering why they don’t think she’s a thief or some sort of loser for failing to return your property in a timely manner. Those people can lend her their chargers. Another solution, tell her next time that your charger doesn’t leave your desk, but she can leave her phone with you until your break.

  68. SilverSister22 Avatar

    NTA

    She should BUY a “simple charger” to leave on her desk and then she won’t need to borrow yours. Or maybe the Nosey Nellies in your office can lend her a charger.

  69. RestlessDreamer79 Avatar

    NTA. She was gonna keep this one too.

  70. OrangeCatProtocol Avatar

    Makes me think of the saying “you give them your little finger and they try to take the whole hand.” Why isn’t she just happy she got to borrow the charger those first few times? Why get mad when she obviously mistreated someone elses stuff. Greedy and weird. Op NTA.

  71. ChiSchatze Avatar

    Wondering who works in an office and doesn’t have a charger permanently at their desk? Are these people unhinged?

  72. rmric0 Avatar

    NTA. She’s previously shown disregard for property you’ve leant her, you’re not obligated to keep handing over chargers to her. Colleagues that think you’re being petty should give her theirs.

  73. BabyBearBennett Avatar

    “The charger no longer leaves my desk. If you want to charge your phone then you will have to leave your phone with me.”

  74. Adventurous_Fee9311 Avatar

    Nta if she has asked to use your charges multiple times then why hasn’t she realized she needs to bring her own charger to work?  Not your job to provide her a charger at work. Minimum I would offer would be she leaves her phone at your desk while it charges. Or just tell her you need it at the moment to charge your phone. 

  75. bababooeey_exe Avatar

    just hide the charger and say you don’t have one. if she goes through your stuff, you go right to HR. nta

  76. Woodpog Avatar

    NTA, and at this point you shouldn’t trust her. I personally wouldn’t give her the charger especially for the 3rd time.

    Taking the charger once is a thing, this is the charging being gone TWICE.

  77. Aggressive_Agency381 Avatar

    NTA at this point she should bring her own charger with her. Also you don’t have to let people barrow your belongings anyway for whatever reason.

  78. britthood Avatar

    NTA.

    “You should learn to be more generous”… NO. SHE should learn to pack a charger with her.

  79. No_Lifeguard_425 Avatar

    Nope. You shouldn’t even have to ask that question.

  80. mamabear826 Avatar

    NTA, she can buy her own

  81. grafknives Avatar

    > Now a couple of people in the office think I was being petty, but I feel like I’m just setting boundaries after being taken advantage of.

    Please enlighten me, how other people become aware of this charger situation ?

    I can’t wrap my head around it

  82. Dry-Lawfulness-638 Avatar

    Nta. She can take her break and go buy one from a convenience store. Screw me once shame on you. Screw me twice shame on me. Setting boundaries is not being petty. This is a consistent issue and she should feel the consequences of not being responsible and returning the charger once her phone charged up

  83. Jarrus__Kanan_Jarrus Avatar

    NTA: I’d allow her to leave her phone to my desk to charge.

  84. molliem12 Avatar

    No, you’re not. I just had a look I lent you two didn’t get them back. Where are they? I can’t afford to buy another.

  85. Pocketeer1 Avatar

    NTA. And tell the people who think you’re being petty that THEY can loan her their chargers.

  86. Soft-Noise8802 Avatar

    Should have told her she can go buy a “simple charger’.

  87. FaithlessnessOnly237 Avatar

    Why doesn’t she just buy one to keep at the office like most normal people do?

  88. Background_actor412 Avatar

    They sell them at five below! Better yet go to the Dollar tree and get one and leave it in your desk and when she asks for it let her borrow it and when it inevitably breaks in like 3 hours throw a fit that she keeps breaking your stuff! Not even joking. Take it out of the package so she can’t tell it’s cheap. 

    I used to keep one of these in my car because I would often be out somewhere and my phone would die. I knew damn well, I was only getting a couple of uses out of it. But if anyone ever tried to borrow it, I could just say just keep it, it’s a cheap backup. But in this case if she really returns it and it’s broke and doesn’t work, you can use that as your excuse from now on. 

    Or just turn it around on her and say Why are you throwing such a fit when it’s just a charger?

  89. murphy2345678 Avatar

    NTA let her steal their chargers!

  90. hotcapicola Avatar

    NTA

    But maybe suggest she just leave her phone to charge at your desk and then can come back for it when she wants it.

  91. redeadhead Avatar

    NTA. Tell coworker to just plug the phone into your charger and leave it at your desk. You’ll let her know when it’s charged. 

  92. Never-Retire58 Avatar

    I don’t blame you. I always have a charger with me. I keep one in my work locker and one in my car. Started doing this when the kids were young and it became a habit.

  93. series-hybrid Avatar

    Ask to hold her drivers license until the charger is returned?

  94. 333again Avatar

    Haaa, go to HR and tell them she stole your shit and is spreading rumors about you in the office.

  95. peteaitch2 Avatar

    Tell her she can leave her phone and you’ll charge it for her.

  96. Flapparachi Avatar

    If it’s a ‘simple charger’ she can walk her simple self to the nearest cheap shop and buy her own. NTA.

  97. Key_Charity9484 Avatar

    Let those other people lend her their chargers. End of discussion.

  98. amhj6 Avatar

    Why not just hand her back the “worn out” one and tell her to keep it? You certainly don’t want it. That way she has no come back, as next time you can just tell her to use her “own” one.

  99. Level-Woodpecker-456 Avatar

    NTA. Why is it so hard for her to buy her own charger to leave at work??

  100. Underscore217 Avatar

    Tell her you’re not making a big deal out of it, in fact you’re not making a deal at all. Not today, not tomorrow, not with her.

  101. cassowary32 Avatar

    NTA. It’s not that hard to get a charger, I don’t understand why she hasn’t bought one or three. It’s not like the old days where every single phone has its own unique charging port. She can get a handful for $20.

  102. tiggipi Avatar

    NTA if it’s really so simple, she can simply get her own.

  103. PastaM0nster Avatar

    My rule is, you can leave your phone to charge by me

  104. KimB-booksncats-11 Avatar

    NTA. Tell anybody giving you trouble “Great! I’ll let coworker know she can borrow your charger.”

  105. Mousegbr Avatar

    NTA . As others have said, she needs to get her own charger. I’m assuming she is a grown adult, so time to act like one. As for your coworkers… none of their business and let them loan a charger if it’s such a big deal. Then, when she loses or wrecks theirs, they’ll get it.
    Two well-known phrases come to mind for me on this one – “no is a full sentence “ and if they push, “lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”.

  106. Money-Detective-6631 Avatar

    NTA tell her where she can but her own charger……They cost 16 dollars here where I live. Don’t lend her anything else She is not a friend…….They can give her one of thier chargers…..

  107. PezGirl-5 Avatar

    NTA say you don’t have one because she hasn’t returned the last two and you have no money to buy a new one.