I honestly dont know who to ask here so im coming to reddit but essentially i still live with my parents. My Dad is the really stubborn “im old so i know everything and you’re wrong” type, this is part of the reason this argument started. Im the person that usually deals with all of our family’s paperwork stuff because my parents still want to have everything on paper, which means I have to shredd a lot of old stuff every year and thats why we have a small shredder.
Today I was going to start shredding more old stuff after sorting through the paperwork again but when I went to use said shredder it had burn marks on the ventilation and the plastic around that area was pretty much completely melted. I went to inform my dad because he was the only person home at that time and I just wanted him to know.
He then started taking the thing apart because he wanted to know what exactly was wrong with it, which okay fine why not. But after he only found the melted plastic I had already pointed out to him he put it back together and demanded I turn it on so he can try it.
I told him Im not going to use a shredder that has obviously burnt out but he didn’t listen to me he fumbed with the thing until he turned it on. It then made this god awfull sound that it had never made before and the ventilation started to fume. I quickly shut it back of but my father was verry upset by this. He started yelling at me that he just wants to see if it still works.
I told him im not going to use it because I thing its unsafe and since im the only person doing the paperwork we can just throw it out.
He yelled at me that he will still use it then and that he knows better because i dont have the practice and knowlage he does.
I then kind of blew up at him that i just dont want him to burn our house down because that thing will most definitely catch on fire and the paper would only make it worse but he only got more angry and called my an asshole because I shouldnt get to control what he can and cant do.
I tried to tell him again that I just dont think its safe but now hes really upset and won’t talk to me. I feel kind of bad. Im afraid that i might have overreacted but i just dont want him to start a fire. Am I the asshole here?
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I honestly dont know who to ask here so im coming to reddit but essentially i still live with my parents. My Dad is the really stubborn “im old so i know everything and you’re wrong” type, this is part of the reason this argument started. Im the person that usually deals with all of our family’s paperwork stuff because my parents still want to have everything on paper, which means I have to shredd a lot of old stuff every year and thats why we have a small shredder.
Today I was going to start shredding more old stuff after sorting through the paperwork again but when I went to use said shredder it had burn marks on the ventilation and the plastic around that area was pretty much completely melted. I went to inform my dad because he was the only person home at that time and I just wanted him to know.
He then started taking the thing apart because he wanted to know what exactly was wrong with it, which okay fine why not. But after he only found the melted plastic I had already pointed out to him he put it back together and demanded I turn it on so he can try it.
I told him Im not going to use a shredder that has obviously burnt out but he didn’t listen to me he fumbed with the thing until he turned it on. It then made this god awfull sound that it had never made before and the ventilation started to fume. I quickly shut it back of but my father was verry upset by this. He started yelling at me that he just wants to see if it still works.
I told him im not going to use it because I thing its unsafe and since im the only person doing the paperwork we can just throw it out.
He yelled at me that he will still use it then and that he knows better because i dont have the practice and knowlage he does.
I then kind of blew up at him that i just dont want him to burn our house down because that thing will most definitely catch on fire and the paper would only make it worse but he only got more angry and called my an asshole because I shouldnt get to control what he can and cant do.
I tried to tell him again that I just dont think its safe but now hes really upset and won’t talk to me. I feel kind of bad. Im afraid that i might have overreacted but i just dont want him to start a fire. Am I the asshole here?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I might be the asshole for yelling at him. I maybe should have stayed calmer instead of blowing up at him but at the moment he just would not listen to me. I will admit i dont know too much about electrical devices so that also plays a role
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, but you should’ve just let him use it after you warned him
NTA. Sucks when the child has to parent the adult.
You are NTA. Throw it away immediately where your dad can’t reclaim it. Then start saving money to move out asap. You don’t deserve to be spoken to that way.
If you are genuinely afraid he could start a fire, unplug it, cut the cord off, throw it in the trash and buy a bigger shedder. Sounds like you need a new one anyway. It also sounds like “someone” is confused about what goes in a paper shredder. And possibly whether or not it is okay to call your child an asshole.
Paper shredders cost $40-$60 bucks, when they AREN’T on sale. That’s a lot cheaper than a house fire.
Edit NTA
I’m old and think you should try paragraphs
NTA. Your dad is willing to risk a house fire to preserve his ego.
NTA. He never should have taken it apart to begin with, that’s crazy dangerous when it comes to a shredder.
Also those things cost like $40.00. I know times are tough but he needs to just buy a new one.
just tell him that a torch would be faster. NTA
If he starts a fire couldn’t he just pour water on it or throw it out the window? Your father is a big boy.
NTA, but there might be more going on here than the obvious. Watching aging relatives, they often get a bit odd about maintaining autonomy and independence. With you handling the paperwork and possibly more your dad might be feeling infantilized and lacking control in his life. Thus an outright fit over being told he can’t use a clearly broken shredder.
Anyway NTA, but possible food for thought in dealing with him.
NTA.
It sounds to me as if Dad either shredded something he shouldn’t have or used it without noticing the smoke and is acting out because of his guilt.