So my friend recently totaled her car (her fault, she admitted it). She asked to borrow mine for a few weeks until she figures things out. I told her no because I can’t afford anything happening to mine—I need it for work and errands, and I don’t want to deal with the stress of “what ifs.” Now she’s upset and says I’m not being a real friend. AITA?
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So my friend recently totaled her car (her fault, she admitted it). She asked to borrow mine for a few weeks until she figures things out. I told her no because I can’t afford anything happening to mine—I need it for work and errands, and I don’t want to deal with the stress of “what ifs.” Now she’s upset and says I’m not being a real friend. AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my friend she couldn’t borrow my car after she totaled hers, and she said I was being selfish.
She needs a car so that could make me an asshole.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, outside of the points you mentioned there are also insurance liabilities you’d be responsible for. Even if it wasn’t her fault and she’s a perfect driver. You still need tor car for your own personal livelihood.
She needs to figure out an alternative until she gets a new car. Public Transportation, Uber/Lyft, car rental.
Just curious, how was the accident her fault? What was she doing/not doing?
NTA.
You need your car on a day-to-day basis, it’s why you own it. She has also shown she’s not a careful driver. Unless she is willing to replace your car and pay any difference on your insurance rates, “no” is the correct answer.
You might offer to give her a ride every once in a while, if you have the time or it’s convenient, but just letting her use your car without you? Hard pass.
NTA
Why would you even take that risk? Her asking is crazy given that she isn’t responsible enough for her own car!
Don’t worry about her static about this situation and you are right to want to avoid the constant stress of her using your car.
NTA. No one drives my vehicles but me. Maybe my father.
Oh sure, let me just hand over my car to someone who just totaled theirs—what could possibly go wrong? NTA. If she can’t be trusted with her own car, why should she be trusted with mine? A “real friend” wouldn’t expect me to risk my only transportation for their mistakes.
NTA, too easy. Let her be mad all she wants. Make sure she has zero access to your keys. I’ve never asked to borrow someone’s car that wasn’t a direct family member, like my mom or dad or brother. And for weeks? She wants the car for WEEKS? No she needs to get a rental, buy a beater car, or take public transportation.
NTA she keeps pushing it and pulling emotional manipulation then it’s back on you why you even have this person in your life… the older you get the less tolerance you have for this kinda BS
NTA. There’s an old saying: you don’t lend your wife or your car, ever. She already wrote one motor off, and now she wants a go at yours? Nah, mate.
You need your car for work and to avoid unnecessary stress. Still, it’s a bit baffling—why would you go without your own ride just to help her out? Does she think her lack of a car trumps your need for one? Doesn’t quite add up.
A real friend wouldn’t put you in that position.
NTA. She didn’t take care of hers
NTA. To me, when someone asks to borrow a car, they are essentially asking you to loan them the value of that vehicle. If your car is worth $10k then they are asking to borrow 10k that you may, or may not, get back. As my grandfather once told me – only agree to a loan if you are okay not getting the money back.
NTA
Why does anyone, who just damaged own car really badly, think their real friend should be comfortable to lend friend’s car?
NTA, but you don’t need to justify your “no” by saying you need the car or whatever. She’s a stupid and dangerous driver. Tell her that’s why she’s not getting your car.
NTA. Even if it were the other driver’s fault nobody drives my car.
I might offer rides if i can make it work within reason but no getting behind the wheel of my car.
NTA
The only people who I let drive my car are my parents when they have flown in to visit – which is fair because I used THEIR car for many years without paying them anything for the use 🙂
On a more serious note, you would be foolish to lend ANYONE your car because not only could the car be totalled but you could be liable for enormous liability if they got into an accident and damaged property OR even worse – injured or killed people.
They can rent a car if they need it or UBER
As a friend I would offer to drive them if they had essential errands like food shopping to do.
So let me get this straight. You’re supposed to be inconvenienced by her fuck up?
NTA
NTA
Does this even need to be asked? Like, no sane, rational person will ask someone to give them their only vehicle for an indeterminate amount of time and be offended when told no.
She wanted to take your only mode of transportation? I thought maybe you had a second car, but your main transportation? That’s a crazy ask. NTA
NTA; tell her to rent one if she needs one
NTA, the are places your friend can rent a car while she figures things out.
It’s 1 thing to borrow a spare car. Another to ask for your primary and only car. Especially when you’re actively using it
Absolutely not.