AITA for not letting my friend keep something she “found” in my room?

r/

okay so this is honestly the dumbest fight ever but also made me feel super weird. i had a friend over to help me reorganize my closet because we were bored and i wanted to get rid of clothes and random junk i don’t use anymore.

while we were going through stuff, she found a small box in the back of my shelf and opened it (i didn’t even ask her to but whatever). inside were a couple random things, like a necklace i haven’t worn in forever and a little pouch with cash — like $180 that i was saving from babysitting jobs. i forgot it was even there.

she immediately pulled out the necklace and said “oh my god this is so cute, i love it” and put it on. i laughed and said “yeah i haven’t seen that thing in forever” and then she goes, “you were just gonna throw this out, right?” and i said “no? it wasn’t even in the donate pile.”

she kept wearing it the whole night and then when she left, she was literally like “thanks again for letting me have it!” and i was like “wait no, i didn’t say you could take that.” she acted super confused and said she thought i was giving away anything she touched. um what?

i told her that’s not how this works and that she needed to bring it back. she said i was being stingy over something i clearly didn’t even care about. i said it doesn’t matter if it’s not expensive or important, it’s mine. now she’s being cold and telling our friends i freaked out over something random and made her feel like a thief.

maybe i overreacted but i don’t think it’s okay to assume something’s yours just because i didn’t snatch it out of your hands.

aita?

Comments

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    okay so this is honestly the dumbest fight ever but also made me feel super weird. i had a friend over to help me reorganize my closet because we were bored and i wanted to get rid of clothes and random junk i don’t use anymore.

    while we were going through stuff, she found a small box in the back of my shelf and opened it (i didn’t even ask her to but whatever). inside were a couple random things, like a necklace i haven’t worn in forever and a little pouch with cash — like $180 that i was saving from babysitting jobs. i forgot it was even there.

    she immediately pulled out the necklace and said “oh my god this is so cute, i love it” and put it on. i laughed and said “yeah i haven’t seen that thing in forever” and then she goes, “you were just gonna throw this out, right?” and i said “no? it wasn’t even in the donate pile.”

    she kept wearing it the whole night and then when she left, she was literally like “thanks again for letting me have it!” and i was like “wait no, i didn’t say you could take that.” she acted super confused and said she thought i was giving away anything she touched. um what?

    i told her that’s not how this works and that she needed to bring it back. she said i was being stingy over something i clearly didn’t even care about. i said it doesn’t matter if it’s not expensive or important, it’s mine. now she’s being cold and telling our friends i freaked out over something random and made her feel like a thief.

    maybe i overreacted but i don’t think it’s okay to assume something’s yours just because i didn’t snatch it out of your hands.

    aita?

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > 1 I didn’t let her take my necklace 2 that I told her to couldn’t have it

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  3. Forward-Dingo1431 Avatar

    NTA Wtf. She has serious issues, and IF you remain friends after this, don’t leave her unsupervised at your place. Better yet, meet somewhere or go to her place and pick stuff up and say you don’t want this, right?

  4. keyahah Avatar

    NTA. She just wanna take away your necklace by making you feel guilty

  5. TheWaffleCopter Avatar

    NTA, what a freak.

  6. Zillah-The-Broken Avatar

    NTA, she’s being obtuse on purpose in order to steal from you. get your necklace back and cut ties, there’s no coming back from what she did and said to your mutual friends.

  7. Dszquphsbnt Avatar

    Keep the necklace, lose the “friend.” NTA.

  8. Auntie_Social_1369 Avatar

    NTA. So what if you haven’t seen it in 100 years. It’s still yours.

  9. Fuzzy-Mess Avatar

    NTA, she felt like a thief because she was acting like a thief.

  10. SlappySlapsticker Avatar

    NTA. She was acting like a thief! It’s so much like a scam pulled at jewellery stores where someone ‘tries on’ a necklace, their accomplice distracts the worker, and the first person walks out still wearing the necklace.

  11. Spicy_Princess_1122 Avatar

    Who the fuck does that? She feels like a thief because she is a thief

  12. Anxious_Reporter_601 Avatar

    NTA what the actual fuck is her problem? Not having seen it in a while doesn’t mean you don’t like it or want it. She’s being an absolute freak.

  13. No_Philosopher_1870 Avatar

    NTA. Your friend is not a friend. She has ni reason to touch your things or ask for them, and you should feel entirely justified to refuse her demands.

  14. KnocksOnKnocksOff Avatar

    NTA. She’s obviously a great manipulator. I bet she gets many things “gifted” to her from people. Stand your ground. It’s hard to give specific info because age is a factor. If you’re both adults, you can file charges if you are teens, parents should be brought in to the discussion. She is not your friend, she only cares about herself.

  15. Skankyho1 Avatar

    I wonder what else she took.

  16. Cautious-Paint9881 Avatar

    Hope you got the necklace back and ditched the “friend”. 

  17. Average_Iris Avatar

    NTA.

    >made her feel like a thief.

    That’s because she was being a thief.

  18. Routine-Acanthaceae4 Avatar

    NTA she feels like a thief because she did the very definition of what a thief does and is pressuring you into letting her keep it by making it out like you are in the wrong for wanting your property returned it doesn’t matter if you haven’t seen it in a while its still yours. she is also trying to get your friend group to side with her so you will be more likely to give up set the record straight that she took something that didn’t belong to her without asking if she could have it and demand she return it. Also you might want to look around your place and see if anything else went missing.

  19. Reddit_chitchat Avatar

    An opportunist. She was probably only there to loot from you in the first place …treating your wardrobe like a free thrift shop. Seems like the ‘friendship closet’ needs a good clean out…maybe someone can come steal her off your hands …just make sure you get the necklace back and if the others take sides with her, give them away too. Out with the old, in with the new.

  20. Cold_Victory7398 Avatar

    NTA. Her behavior is super entitled and gross.

  21. ladyytoes Avatar

    NTA. Finding something in someone’s room doesn’t turn it into a prize from a treasure hunt. That’s not “reorganizing,” that’s looting. If she wanted it so bad, she could’ve just asked instead of trying to manifest it into a gift.