My mom called me this morning. Apparently her husband was supposed to get paid but his boss has told him that he will be paid a bit late.
They are always financially struggling and apparently are completely out of money right now, to the point that their fridge is completely empty.
My dad bought me a mini fridge for my room and I put my snacks (that I buy with dad’s money) separately and I have a lock on that fridge. My mom asked me to give her the key so that the kids will have something to eat until they get paid and can buy food. She promised to replace everything they eat.
The problem is that I know she won’t replace them with the exact thing. Most of the food in my fridge are good quality food and I just know she is gonna replace them with a shitty version. Also I don’t like people touching my stuff so I said no.
We argued for a while and she called me a selfish asshole.
Comments
Tell her she’s an incompetent mom who can’t even feed her own children. I feel for the kids though, no one likes to be hungry.
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Totally get protecting your snacks, but maybe sharing a bit could help them now
INFO: you buy all your meals?
Chalk it up to experience and if she ever asks again say no for the reasons you sited. You mom needs to learn to budget better. You did the right thing , kids should not go hungry, but it is your mom’s problem and not yours to feed them
How old are you?
NTA
I guess there is a reason your father bought you a minifridge with a lock?
Your mother and her husband shouldn’t have had more children together, if they can’t afford them, tbh.
You do sound spoiled and selfish. Sharing snacks once when someone is hungry while you’re not there so obviously not hungry yourself should not be a problem for a decent person.
YTA you’re not even there and it seems you’re quite smug in your comments about not being your problem these kids are hungry. I hope you never have to experience hardship.
OP you are technically in the right. However, that would make for a poor bedfellow down the line if you are unable to foster lasting relationships due to misplaced rigidity. If this isn’t a regular occurrence (your mom asking for this kind of help); then consider helping. You may not mean to come across as dismissive and cocky; but that is about the only thing shining through your answers. If it is within your reach; why not be kind?
Info: is your mom working? Because if she isn’t, she should be, and they should definitely invest in birth control if they can’t feed the kids they have now.
Nta it is sad that the kids will have to go without I have a friend who’s in the same situation with her mom and step dads her little siblings are all stuck in a nasty ass tiny trailer and her mom doesn’t clean anything and they pretty much financially abuse her for at least 200 dollars a week, her mom can’t keep a job for less than a month etc but she lives with her dad now it just sucks that failure parents always try to put it on the oldest sibling or anyone they feel like they can take advantage of, it’s truly sickening
Info: how old are you and do you live with her full time?
Are you aware that it’s YOUR parents responsibility to feed (regular food, snacks, etc), clothe & educate you/your siblings?
It is not your job or even responsibility to feed your siblings, either.
Doesn’t matter if you have food/snacks or whatever that your bio dad paid for you & you only.
Why aren’t you telling your bio dad about this & the ongoing shenanigans that’s been going on in your your home?
You also need to tell your dad this, including adults that you trust as this is abuse & neglect by your mum/step dad, too.
Please do NOT feed your siblings, bc once you start your grossly neglectful parents will expect/possibly demand that you start feeding your siblings on a routine basis, which they shouldn’t even tell you to do this in the 1st place!
I’d call CPS on them as they takes things like this very seriously, btw.
NTA
Its just food. You ever go hungry?
Time to grow up. Its not as if they’re stealing from you.
What kind of snacks are we talking about? Is your mom able to provide meals for your step and half siblings? I completely understand not wanting to share your snacks.
NTA
Your mom and her husband are not responsible people. When you help someone in a situation like this, it’s rarely a one off. It will keep happening. Next, it will be money. Then sleeping arrangements need to be changed because of the baby (if not this one, the next).
Are you confident that whatever money your dad sends for child support goes to your benefit and not half and step?
NTA
Mom can go to a food pantry and get food for free and/or file for government support. Their food insecurity isn’t the responsibility of you or your Dad to solve.
It may be worth asking Dad to file for a change of custody/visitation. If Mom can’t provide adequately for your needs when you’re at her house, you might be safer and healthier spending more time at Dad’s.
If Mom routinely doesn’t have enough food for the kids in her care, you should consider filing an anonymous complaint with CPS about the lack of food. It isn’t okay for Mom to not be feeding her kids.
Nta there’s food pantry they can go to, they can ask Facebook groups to help
They shouldn’t be having more kids if they can’t afford the ones they already have
I kind of don’t care if this is a troll post. I’ll respond as if it’s real.
So, if this is real, everyone sucks.
It is super annoying that she doesn’t replace your snacks with the same ones you get, so the locked fridge makes sense.
But is she otherwise loving? Is this the worst thing she does, the whole bad snack thing?
I have no clue what the dynamics with your family are. Is she a decent mom who shows up for you?
If so, and the family is truly out of food, I think it’s a shitty thing you’re doing.
You technically don’t owe them anything, but it’s a little staggering to lack empathy to this degree. It’s not even about you being related to them. It’s genuinely that people who you share significant time with are struggling. You could do something about it, and you’re just shrugging your shoulders.
If there’s more to this picture for why you resent or dislike that part of the family, which is highly likely, then I’m not sure.
Right now, it seems like you dislike her because she’s not financially as stable as your dad.
Clearly, there’s a lot of hostility from you towards mom’s new family. Maybe it would be better to stay with your dad so you’re not an extra mouth to feed and the kids aren’t hurt by your refusal to share with them.
I have a feeling that that mini fridge is gonna get open with or without the key anyway…
NTA, ask if you can live full time with your dad. Your mother’s problems are not yours.
Tell your mom to get her ass to a food pantry or a food bank. Wtf
you’re either at the point or almost at the point where the court would consider your wishes if you don’t want to be forced to stay with people who can’t afford to feed you and steal from you. Tell your father what’s happening. If possible, don’t do phone calls, do texts about things like this.
There’s food banks and other charity organizations that will help kids eat. While not healthy, ramen is cheap…
NTA. There are food banks in every community and then there’s the Snap program. Or she could get a job?