So me and my friend all moved into this house that was previous occupied by another friend of ours. When this friend moved out and let us move into the house they left some furniture including a standing desk (not a crazy nice one but one that’s kinda custom) and they specifically said they’re only not selling it because they’re giving it to me. They’re primarily my friend which makes sense.
However, my friend who moved in with me needed a desk for work while they lived here and I let them use that desk for the time that they lived here. They’re finally moving out in a few days and just asked me if they can keep the desk. I asked them why they didn’t ask me earlier and they said they just assumed they could have it because they’ve been using it this whole time and guilt tripped me about how they’re spending a lot of money on this move. I was iffy on it and was like “well my friend specifically gave it to me” and eventually said no and now they’re super pissed at me. I’m confused about this. Like, the desk was never theirs? I just let them borrow it right? AITA for “leaving them without a desk” because standing desks aren’t that expensive and they have a decent paying job? Is this that big of a deal to say no to? I see several on FB marketplace for $100 or less. I even told them they could have my old desk that I’ve been using since I was planning on using this nicer one after they moved out and they were like “but I have a treadmill for a standing desk and you don’t” like AITA or are they acting entitled?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
So me and my friend all moved into this house that was previous occupied by another friend of ours. When this friend moved out and let us move into the house they left some furniture including a standing desk (not a crazy nice one but one that’s kinda custom) and they specifically said they’re only not selling it because they’re giving it to me. They’re primarily my friend which makes sense.
However, my friend who moved in with me needed a desk for work while they lived here and I let them use that desk for the time that they lived here. They’re finally moving out in a few days and just asked me if they can keep the desk. I asked them why they didn’t ask me earlier and they said they just assumed they could have it because they’ve been using it this whole time and guilt tripped me about how they’re spending a lot of money on this move. I was iffy on it and was like “well my friend specifically gave it to me” and eventually said no and now they’re super pissed at me. I’m confused about this. Like, the desk was never theirs? I just let them borrow it right? AITA for “leaving them without a desk” because standing desks aren’t that expensive and they have a decent paying job? Is this that big of a deal to say no to? I see several on FB marketplace for $100 or less. I even told them they could have my old desk that I’ve been using since I was planning on using this nicer one after they moved out and they were like “but I have a treadmill for a standing desk and you don’t” like AITA or are they acting entitled?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I did not let my roommate keep a desk as they were moving out and they got mad at me, this might make me the asshole because I’m “leaving them without a desk” when they say they need one.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
If it was given to you it is yours. His use of it is irrelevant. It still belongs to you.
NTA.
Unless you specifically told this person that you were giving it to them in the past, not just loaning it to them, then they have no right to assume anything. Especially if they can afford one of their own. The cost of them moving has nothing to do with you whatsoever. They’re just trying to guilt trip you into giving in and letting them take it.
I’d make sure to watch them so they don’t sneak it out while you’re not there. If they do, you’ll probably never get it back.
NTA, the desk was always yours and they were just borrowing it. You even offered your old desk, which is more than fair. Them assuming using it gives them ownership is pretty entitled.
NTA for not giving up the desk, though I don’t love your reaction to being asked. It’s a desk you clearly aren’t using, this person has been using it this whole time, and it’s not like they just took it, they asked. You were immediately weird about it by responding with why wasn’t I asked earlier, and were a little bit wishy washy without an immediate no. You aren’t really acting like you want it that badly, moreso that you don’t want them to have it. That’s probably why they got upset. If you didn’t want to give it up, you should have given a firm no from the start and it probably would have gone better.
Entitled. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, and most of them stink.
Tell them their Neurospicy delusion that they would get to keep a desk they borrowed qualifies them for the misconception of the month… but not the desk!