My little girl turned 1 over the weekend and my in-laws acted weird. For a little back story, my brother -in law and sister in law (husbands brother and sister in-law) has two children. A 16 y/o and a 4 y/o. Quite a huge age gap since sister in law was married before and had her son (16 y/o) from previous marriage and the 4 y/o they have together. The 16 y/o is a bit of a chubby kid, and I don’t know if it’s just me but that kid eats a lot. At the party he dished up 5 burgers. Is that normal for a 16 y/o boy? My own parents say he is a growing boy so I let that go. He also drank almost all the soda. Stuffing cans in his pockets and just taking food and drinks without asking. Now it has become quite a trend to do a cake smash and since I thought it’s a bit of a waste to do a whole cake I did a cupcake smash. During the cupcake smash my niece practically threw a tantrum to also get a cupcake while we were filming having the moment and my husband said we will give her a cupcake she just needs to wait a bit. Long story short, my mother in law came up and asked again and (she was like the third person that asked) I just handed her a cupcake for my niece to shut her up. When it came to the present time. I asked everyone to not wrap the gifts but put it in a gift bag as my daughter loves walking around with old gift bags and taking stuff out that I put in for her to play with. My niece comes up and takes the presents out of my daughter’s hands and start opening it with the excuse “I’m helping her”. I wanted to say something, but my husband and parents told me to keep quiet. So the whole party I was upset that the moment was ruined. When everyone left I ranted to my mother and my dad said I have to drop it since it’s not a big deal. Am I overreacting?
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My little girl turned 1 over the weekend and my in-laws acted weird. For a little back story, my brother -in law and sister in law (husbands brother and sister in-law) has two children. A 16 y/o and a 4 y/o. Quite a huge age gap since sister in law was married before and had her son (16 y/o) from previous marriage and the 4 y/o they have together. The 16 y/o is a bit of a chubby kid, and I don’t know if it’s just me but that kid eats a lot. At the party he dished up 5 burgers. Is that normal for a 16 y/o boy? My own parents say he is a growing boy so I let that go. He also drank almost all the soda. Stuffing cans in his pockets and just taking food and drinks without asking. Now it has become quite a trend to do a cake smash and since I thought it’s a bit of a waste to do a whole cake I did a cupcake smash. During the cupcake smash my niece practically threw a tantrum to also get a cupcake while we were filming having the moment and my husband said we will give her a cupcake she just needs to wait a bit. Long story short, my mother in law came up and asked again and (she was like the third person that asked) I just handed her a cupcake for my niece to shut her up. When it came to the present time. I asked everyone to not wrap the gifts but put it in a gift bag as my daughter loves walking around with old gift bags and taking stuff out that I put in for her to play with. My niece comes up and takes the presents out of my daughter’s hands and start opening it with the excuse “I’m helping her”. I wanted to say something, but my husband and parents told me to keep quiet. So the whole party I was upset that the moment was ruined. When everyone left I ranted to my mother and my dad said I have to drop it since it’s not a big deal. Am I overreacting?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Can we have more context here? Did your brother and sister in law ever try to stop their kids or intervene?
I get why you are upset, but life doesn’t always go the way we planned or want it to, especially when kids are involved. The 16 year old as rude, but that doesn’t appear to be the part that “ruined the moment”.
I do think you are overreacting about the gift thing. The kid’s parents could have intervened, but it’s really just a 4 year old being a 4 year old.
You’re in for a hard road if you don’t learn to let some of these things go.
Kids who need attention on at other kids birthday parties will always annoy me but not as much as their parents who never seem to do anything about it. I wouldn’t go nuclear but i get why you’re annoyed. Maybe next year you celebrate with friends instead of family. NTA.
YTA. Children are children. If you want a four-year old to behave like an adult, then make it an adults-only party.
Did your one-year old care about her cousin “helping” her open her gifts? If not, ignore it.
And while you’re at it, ignore your nephew’s over-eating. I am sure that his parents are well aware of his questionable relationship with food. Your comments about this are not central to your post and, as such, come off as little more than judgemental.
I get why you’re annoyed, but unfortunately you are going to have to learn to live with the fact that every moment of your daughter’s life will not be perfect or go as planned. I would be annoyed but i wouldn’t end relationships over this. Kids are tricky and unpredictable. NTA
YTA, in multiple ways. Absolutely overreacting.
YTA you’d no reason to go on about the weight of the 16 year old. You didn’t bother to step in. Your 1 year old won’t remember any of this so she’s not going to care that her cousin opened a present. You’re TA for having everyone just sit and watch you do cake smashes and presents for extended times – how long did you want everyone to sit watching a cupcake smash if more then one person came up asking if the 4 year old could just have a cub cake?
This makes your sound like the AH. It sounds like you think ALL the attention should have been on your kid and that didn’t happen. The stuff you mentioned about your nephew doesn’t even matter. And yes a 4 year old may have a hard time waiting for a cupcake especially if they see them out. This was just a rant.
You’re not overreacting to being annoyed, but you’re maybe dragging it a bit. Kid’s birthday, stuff happens
There is a lot to unpack here…
So.
So frankly… I’m going to say YTA. You seemed way too into policing someone elses kids and not focusing on more important things.
Always the new parents 🤣
YTA. For judging the 16 for their weight, that’s just cruel and useless info. And for not giving the 4 year old a cupcake. Not a single 4 year old wants to watch a 1 year old smash a cupcake. They are 4. You should have just let the 4 year old eat a cupcake while your 1 year old did their thing.
As for the presents, I also think you’re overreacting. Your child will not remember this. But they could look at pictures of their cousin “helping”.
My advice would be to loosen up a bit. Your child is 1. There will be lots of things that don’t go as planned.
You are the arse on the 16 year old, let it go he isn’t your problem. But I would be annoyed by the 4 year old, somebody parent that child.
Op just wait until your little one is 4.
YTA- yea overreacting!
You’re exhausting. YTA
INFO: What did all that info about the 16yo have to do with the rest of the story?
Ive never been to a family party where I had to ask permission to take food or drinks, even as a child. How small was this party that one hungry 16 year old can run you out of food and drinks? And give the 4 year old a cupcake. It wasn’t just a wait your turn thing, you wanted her to wait through a whole cupcake smashing ceremony by your one year old. The four year old probably didn’t understand why she had to wait and frankly I don’t either. Was she helping with the presents or was she “helping”? Its hard to judge that situation without seeing it myself but Im finding it hard to give you the benefit of doubt based on your other complaints.
YTA and you’re overreacting
yikes, sounds like they were MIA the whole time 🤦♀️
A 1 year olds birthday party is for you – it’s not for them. Your child didn’t have any kind of moment ruined. You had other children at a party for a child. Should a 16 year old be eating that much? Probably not. Should you be calling him a chubby kid? Definitely not. If you want limits on how much food people can eat at your party then you serve the food instead of having a free for all. If you don’t want people to behave like children or teenagers at a party then don’t invite children or teenagers.
The boy is insecure. Food is his only pleasure. I was same. Father rode my ass, never complemented.
Food was my only friend. Further the 4 year old taking over is also another red flag. There are major problems in that family. Stay away
YTA what the hell was that whole thing about your nephews weight about?! It’s not even relevant to the rest of the post.
Regarding your 4 year old niece, NTA. 4 is old enough to learn boundaries and she’s clearly not getting them. I’d be pissed too.
It’s absolutely normal for a 16 y/o to eat that much but it’s extremely rude for him to take food and drinks like that.
It’s on SIL and BIL to redirect their 4 y/o or remove their 4 y/o from the situation so I’m they are the AH for that too.
YTA. First off- what the actual fuck does this kid’s weight or eating have to do with this at all. It didn’t impact anyone, it didn’t need to be brought up and being that focused in on it at the party and even after is messed up. I sincerely hope this isn’t normal for you, please consider why you behave this way. For the other things- yes you are way overreacting and taking this event far too seriously. I say this as a parent who threw a a big first birthday bash too and also had plans for how I wanted it to go. It’s a kid’s birthday party, not the Oscars. Things will not match your ideals and script entirely. Why did all the guests and especially a 4 year old need to wait on the dessert so you could film something? Why is the film not being perfect so aggravating to you? Why is normal 4 your old “helper” behavior setting you off? This was all 100% developmentally appropriate behavior and you’re making the kid out to be a cartoon villain. When I read this I read someone who is too focused on ideals and image to enjoy her kids first birthday and that is really sad. Literally everyone you asked, who knows you and the situation much better than us internet strangers, told you you’re overreacting. Believe them.
NTA