After my son(17) graduated HS he wanted to come spend a week with me. His mom is the custodial parent. He has a Jeep that she bought him and he wanted to drive that to my house 190 miles away. His mom said he shouldn’t drive it because it will break down and was recently out of the repair shop. I said I have AAA and can have it towed up to 200 miles and I would ride with him and my wife would follow us. Jeep made it fine.
The next day we went for a ride and he was in an accident. No damage to the jeep but other persons car was damaged. We called the police and we can’t find updated insurance and registration. We call his mom and find out she canceled the insurance and didn’t renew the tags because it wasn’t running. Now they are of course being sued by both the other parties insurance 9k for repairs and by the other driver for injuries etc. She claims I should pay for everything because he was in my care. I told her I am not paying a dime because she caused the problem by canceling the insurance and not telling anyone. I definitely would not have let him drive if I had known.
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team.
After my son(17) graduated HS he wanted to come spend a week with me. His mom is the custodial parent. He has a Jeep that she bought him and he wanted to drive that to my house 190 miles away. His mom said he shouldn’t drive it because it will break down and was recently out of the repair shop. I said I have AAA and can have it towed up to 200 miles and I would ride with him and my wife would follow us. Jeep made it fine.
The next day we went for a ride and he was in an accident. No damage to the jeep but other persons car was damaged. We called the police and we can’t find updated insurance and registration. We call his mom and find out she canceled the insurance and didn’t renew the tags because it wasn’t running. Now they are of course being sued by both the other parties insurance 9k for repairs and by the other driver for injuries etc. She claims I should pay for everything because he was in my care. I told her I am not paying a dime because she caused the problem by canceling the insurance and not telling anyone. I definitely would not have let him drive if I had known.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> AITA for telling sons mom I won’t pay a dime for his car accident?
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Unless your son was driving recklessly and you didn’t stop him, I don’t see any way in which you should be responsible for the consequences of this accident.
NTA. He’ll no! She didn’t pay insurance or for tags, not you!
NTA – She chose to cancel the insurance for a 17yo (!), not disclose that, and still let him drive. She’s an idiot and is 100% responsible for the costs.
Your reasoning is sound. What rational mother allows her 17 year old new driver child to go a single centimeter, let alone 200 miles, in a car that doesn’t have insurance? Your son’s mother is extremely irresponsible. You don’t reward that level of irresponsible behavior with financial assistance. NTA
Yeah – NTA. The mom is irresponsible.
INFO: You said his mother didn’t want him to drive the car. Did she eventually consent, or was it done behind her back?
“We call his mom and find out she canceled the insurance and didn’t renew the tags”
If that’s true and there isn’t more to the story, it’s on her. He may have been with you, but she allowed him to drive an uninsured and unregistered Jeep. She didn’t tell you that was the case, which you would have mitigated by being insured, making sure he bought insurance, taking an insured vehicle or whatever.
Also, if sonny trusted her to take care of that stuff and she didn’t, she really let him down.
Luckily, the law apparently sees things this way as well. You won’t be able to convince her she’s in the wrong despite it being pretty obvious, but maybe that’s one of the reasons she’s you ex.
“She claims I should pay for everything because he was in my care.”
—Unless that care is you being the one who is supposed to make sure there is insurance coverage, it doesn’t work that way. You also now know the real reason she didn’t want him driving. She covered it up and now is trying to blame you? I can see at least one reason why you aren’t together any more.
NTA.
NTA this is your sons mom’s fault. 100%.
She cancelled insurance on a kid and knowingly allowed him to drive it.
Its all on her.
Where I live your son would probabaly lose his license for multiple years (driving without a license is a criminal act and a driver driving without assurance bears equal or full responsibility for all accidents).
NTA. And with her actions, mindset, and inability to hold herself accountable, I can see why you might divorce her (speculation, of course).
I feel terrible for your son. Having to face something like this because of his mom’s actions is pretty rough. Why shr let him drive without insurance or a valid registration is inexplicable. She 100% caused the problem. But she’ll never admit she did anything wrong.
NTA – who the heck cancels insurance on a car with a 17 yo driver? That is insanity…
Actions, meet consequences…
NTA-
The accident could have happened anywhere, with any passenger.
The direct, CAUSAL factor of the $9k in damages + injury owed is the lack of insurance.
Mother was the only one who knew there was no insurance & no valid registration. She chose to allow the use of the Jeep without disclosing her little secret. She bought the Jeep. She controlled the insurance & registration. She failed in her assumed responsibilities.