This happened like a week ago and it’s still awkward. My friend and I were at the mall just walking around and we stopped by one of those little skincare booths. The lady was doing free hand scrubs or whatever, and I was just standing there letting her try it on me because it smelled nice. The friend was super into it though, asking a million questions.
I said I wasn’t buying anything and even stepped away a little, but while I was looking at a display, the friend ended up buying two of the scrubs. They were like $35 each. Cool, whatever. But then as we were leaving she handed me one and was like, “Here, I got one for you too.”
I literally said, “Wait what? Why?” and she just shrugged and went, “I know you liked it, it’s no big deal.” I said thanks but also told her she didn’t have to do that.
Now fast forward to yesterday, she texts me like, “Hey can you send me $35 for that scrub when you get a chance?” I was confused and said, “I thought you were treating me,” and she goes, “Well I didn’t think I’d have to pay for both. I assumed you’d Zelle me later.”
Ummm what?? I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t agree to it. And she literally said “it’s no big deal.”
I told her nicely that I’m not paying for something I didn’t want in the first place. Now she’s acting like I’m taking advantage of her and says she wouldn’t have bought it if she knew I wouldn’t pay her back.
So now I feel weird. I didn’t want it. I didn’t ask. But I also don’t want to seem ungrateful.
AITA?
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This happened like a week ago and it’s still awkward. My friend and I were at the mall just walking around and we stopped by one of those little skincare booths. The lady was doing free hand scrubs or whatever, and I was just standing there letting her try it on me because it smelled nice. The friend was super into it though, asking a million questions.
I said I wasn’t buying anything and even stepped away a little, but while I was looking at a display, the friend ended up buying two of the scrubs. They were like $35 each. Cool, whatever. But then as we were leaving she handed me one and was like, “Here, I got one for you too.”
I literally said, “Wait what? Why?” and she just shrugged and went, “I know you liked it, it’s no big deal.” I said thanks but also told her she didn’t have to do that.
Now fast forward to yesterday, she texts me like, “Hey can you send me $35 for that scrub when you get a chance?” I was confused and said, “I thought you were treating me,” and she goes, “Well I didn’t think I’d have to pay for both. I assumed you’d Zelle me later.”
Ummm what?? I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t agree to it. And she literally said “it’s no big deal.”
I told her nicely that I’m not paying for something I didn’t want in the first place. Now she’s acting like I’m taking advantage of her and says she wouldn’t have bought it if she knew I wouldn’t pay her back.
So now I feel weird. I didn’t want it. I didn’t ask. But I also don’t want to seem ungrateful.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1 I didn’t pay for what my friend bought for me. 2. I will never pay for the thing I don’t want .
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I’m sure you already knew that No you are not the “asshole”. You don’t owe them anything and they never should have expected you to pay for it. If you want I guess you could give the brush or whatever back to her.
NTA, but if you haven’t used it yet, offer to give it back to her .
But it’s a weird thing for her to do – you were right there and would have bought it if you wanted it, and you explicitly said you weren’t buyng anything . She doesn’t get to decide that you are spending money.
NTA. You didn’t ask for the scrub, and she didn’t mention wanting to be paid back when she gave it to you. That’s on her for assuming. If she expected you to split the cost, she should’ve clarified before buying it. It sucks that she regrets the purchase now, but that’s not your responsibility. Maybe offer to give the scrub back if she’s that upset about it, but you definitely don’t owe her money for something you never agreed to buy.
NTA She assumed you somehow knew that when she bought something for you of her own volition and then made it seem like it was a gift, that you telepathically picked up her thoughts to send her the money for it. How did you not know what she thought?? Maybe she’s broke? I would give it back to her and say I can’t possibly keep this. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you or something. Never accept anything from her again
You said you’re not buying anything.
She handed you one and said “Here, I got one for you too.” and “…it’s no big deal.”
At that moment she never said anything about payment.
To me, that would have clearly meant it was a gift.
Offer to give it back (used or unused) but otherwise don’t pay her anything.
NTA
Absolutely NTA! How long have you known this person? I obviously don’t know the history you have with this individual, but being a bit older and having learned the hard way with too many people, this is a huge red flag and I’d highly recommend closely reflecting upon her behavioral history with you and consider showing her the exit door from your life.
True friends, people who care about you and are a positive influence and support in your life, don’t play these types of weird, twisted games. It’d be surprising if this is the first time she’s ever displayed red flag behaviors with you. It’d be equally shocking if it’s the last time (if she is allowed to remain in your life).
If you haven’t used the scrub, maybe just give it back (since she should have the receipt or other proof of purchase) so she can just go ahead and get her money back (that you never asked her to spend on you in the first place). If you have used it, then oh well; it was a gift.
No right-thinking person buys someone something they didn’t even ask for, say “I knew you liked it, it’s no big deal” and then come back later asking and expecting to be given the money for the unsolicited gift that they chose to buy and give to you. That’s so abnormal.
NTA. That’s not how gifts work. Give her back the scrub, tell her “I’m giving this back. I didn’t ask for it. No big deal”.
NTA, your friend is being totally weird… why would she think you would pay her back for it?
If you wanted to buy one, you would have done it then and there. Her reasoning makes zero sense… you didn’t buy one from the lady selling them but for some reason you will buy one from your friend?
Give the scrub back to her, she can have two.
She is being ridiculous.
NTA
You didn’t ask for it.
NTA. You don’t just buy something for someone else and then expect them to reimburse you for it without having a conversation about it first. And you were right there! There was literally no reason for her to do that.
Give the scrub back to her. She bought it, she can keep it.