My greatuncle died, left me 5k in his will. Which was transferred to my bank account today.
We need some work doing on our house, its not an issue, we’re financially stable in general and we’re slowly getting through the work we want doing. This 5k is a nice little plus.
My partner started talking about the house work and putting the 5k towards it. Don’t get me wrong we’ve already had a bunch of work done, using both his and my money, splitting the costs and what not.
I told my partner “Yeah, thats fine, I’m willing to put 2.5k into the house, the other 2.5k I’m keeping for myself, though. To buy things I want.” Which turned into an small argument where he tried to point out that a particular job (that isn’t really a high priority tbh) could be done sooner if I put the whole 5k towards it. I told him it wasn’t a high priority job, and no, I will put half towards the house, and half for myself.” He called me a little selfish, which then escalated the argument. In turn I brought up the fact that when his Grandad died 6 years ago and he got some money, I didn’t tell him AT ALL what to do with it, as that was HIS inheritance, and HIS money to do whatever he wants with, and he did. He bought himself a new top of the range computer, and some other pricey things that he wanted. He then said that wasn’t fair of me to say, as 6 years ago, we didnt want all this work being done on our house. I said that didn’t matter, this is MY inheritance money, and I’ll do whatever I want with it, and that he should be grateful that I’m putting HALF towards the house.
AITA?
Comments
You’re being fair by putting half into the house. He didn’t share his years ago so he can’t expect you to give it all now. You’re not selfish for wanting to enjoy a bit of what was left for you… so you’re not an ASSHOLE at all
NTA. It’s your inheritance, not a joint bonus. The fact you’re still putting half toward the house is generous. Wanting to treat yourself with the rest isn’t selfish—it’s balanced.
It’s your inheritance. NTA. Just curious–do you pay for things 50-50?
NTA. It is your inheritance. He had no problem treating himself with his inheritance and you were respectful enough to not tell him how to spend it. Now you have the right to treat yourself. Your partner needs to return the favor and respect you enough not to tell you how to spend it. Unless he wants to sell his computer so that he can contribute half of what he inherited into the house fund, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on in this argument.
“You know what they say: a house is just a money pit that occasionally lets you sleep in it! At least you’re putting half towards it—consider it your ‘housewarming gift’ to the house itself!
NTA bc of how things are set up in your household.
Keep it up. Tell him he can sell his computer if he needs another $2500.00. Buy what you want without apology. That’s exactly what he did. 6 years ago, he’d have known in the future there would be practical expenses but yet he didn’t save it. He spent it on him.
Being selfish with your money is 100% acceptable and highly encouraged! Don’t sacrifice any of it!
NTA. Remove your offer since he isn’t grateful. Someday when you divorce, it will be good that you have this money that belongs only to you.
NTA. It’s your inheritance. Also, whose name is on the mortgage? You say partner and you split bills 50/50. Is your name also on the mortgage? And do the two of you make the same amount of money to make a 50/50 split equitable?
NTAH The inheritance is yours and yours alone. Yes it is nice to use it for things around the house that you both want done. If there were things that NEEDED done and you two were struggling a bit financially, then maybe a bit. However it sounds like that’s the case at all.
fuck that house honestly 😂☝🏽 he’s the asshole for telling you what to do with your dead relative’s inheritance? like he just offered it up without even asking? keep it all for yourself, in savings if anything
NTA. And frankly, I wouldn’t be putting anything into a joint asset given his attitude. And no, I’m not joking.
Because the fact of the matter is that even six years ago, when he spent all of his money on himself, that money could’ve been put aside because at some point you were gonna want a house? Or you might need a new car so that both of you could get to work properly.
It’s very obvious that his money was his money, and your money is his money as well. And for him to try to deflect and say… While circumstances were different six years ago…
And circumstances will be different six years from now. But the principle of the inheritance won’t be, will it? He will still have spent all of his on himself only. And he wants you to spend all of yours on him as well.
Honestly, just keep the money for yourself.At this point it’s not a lot of money.It’s not going to go far.Just put it in your personal savings.
NTA but your husband is.
It doesn’t matter, but he got his money 6 years ago the fact is he got his money and he kept 100% of it for himself.
He is the selfish one, he now wants you to give up all of your money.You even offered half of it.
He is wrong, he is selfish, he’s a greedy hypocrite and honestly he’s an a hole.
So, do I have this right: His money is his money, but your money all needs to go towards something he wants sooner rather than later? Interesting concept of fair….
Hell no that’s not fair at all your right and good luck good night Reddit I’m done ✅
You can keep the whole 5g and spend it all on stuff for yourself and none on the house. I hope you are keeping track of how much you put in that house, because if you aren’t married, depending on what state you are in, you may not be entitled to half of it, or the amount you put in. your partner’s double standard is showing. it’s gross.
NTA. Your inheritance, your money, your choice what to do with it, especially when he did the same thing.
Nta. And reality check: why would you be TA if he didn’t put any of his inheritance into the house? Really think about that.
Nuh uh. He can’t have it both ways. He understood that inheritances are not marital assets 6 years ago.
The fact that y’all working on the house is completely irrelevant. IMO, you should tell him you thought more about the fact that this is an inheritance, and you decided to keep it all for yourself. House upgrades can continue as planned before you knew you were getting your inheritance. The fact that he’s making plans with YOUR money is simply audacious!
NTA
You said partner. Are you married? Even when married, inheritance isn’t part of marriage and is yours alone. He definitely kept his inheritance all to himself.
Is your name on the deed of the house? I hope so. If not, do not put any money in it anymore as it’s not yours.
Your partner can sell his computers and stuff and put the same amount as yours from his inheritance. If not, don’t use any of that inheritance into the house. Keep it in your savings. You might need it, with his attitude…
You not married.
I would put any of it in the house for now until you discuss financials. Is the house shared ? Are you equal partners ? If you are he needs to put the same amount in. If you have a different arrangement say 60/40 then you both put in your respective share.
You are being fair. You should remind him that you are putting half of the money and that should be good enough.
NTA. Put no money into the house. Save it in an ‘in case you need to get the hell out of there’ fund. His what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine attitude does not bode well. It would be ok for him to suggest but the fact he can’t even see your point of view is not good.
NTA. This is why my grandma always told me to never tell your husband when you get a raise, a bonus or any windfall. They will always try and spend it. Your husband is selfish.
NTA
Not joint money being earned by both of you. Your inheritance, your money
NTA.
He didn’t give you a second thought when he got his inheritance so you shouldn’t have to share your inheritance with him. Spend your money on yourself and enjoy your half. He’s lucky the house is even getting half in the first place. If anyone is being selfish, it’s him.
Nta. Change your mind to spending it all on yourself or saving it all for yourself
NTA
NTA- and imo unless he’s matching that amount so the investment stays equal for both of you I wouldn’t be adding any extra to the account for the house. If you’re splitting things 50/50 and he expects you to add your inheritance to the pot that’s not 50/50 anymore.
I know I’m gonna sound old and old fashioned and may get downvoted but I don’t understand having completely separate finances as a married couple. I’m an old but our money has always been our money. When his parents died we talked together about what to do with the money. I won’t get anything when my mom dies but I cannot fathom the idea that we wouldn’t decide what to do with it together. I also can’t get my head around spending $2500 on myself and my boo gets nothing? We’re a team. Of course we have our squabbles, but at the end of the day we want the best for one another. Neither of us would do this to the other.
So you each match the others contribution? Regardless of the source?
But NTA
NTA
You are being very supportive, putting in half!
NTA. Tell your partner where to go.
NTA – meet his energy. Put as much into the house with your inheritance that he did with his into your shared bills